


Working Her to the Bone

by AmaranthPrincess21



Series: Working Her to the Bone [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 21:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 51,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1702871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthPrincess21/pseuds/AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After once again tracking mud in Levi's office, he decides that giving you kitchen or cleaning duty isn't going to suffice this time. Instead as punishment, he gives you the job of being his assistant for two weeks. At first glance, this should be an easy job, but you soon find that between falling for your superior and your past coming back to haunt you, these next two weeks aren't going to be easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This work can also be found on my deviantart, under the same user name as this account.

“Cadet [Last]! How many times have I told you to not track mud into my office?!” Captain Levi yelled at you. You stood meekly in front of his desk, holding a stack of paperwork from Hange Zoë. “And you’re completely filthy. Have you been rolling around in mud? Not to mention the grass stains on your sides.” he wrinkled his nose in disgust. Your previously white shirt was now brown and green, courtesy of the mud and grass you had been tossed into and trudged through. Your pants were completely covered in grass stains, with mud splotches creating a chaotic polka dotted pattern. Ironically, your boots that got the most of the damage while on the field were only streaked with mud. Needless to say, your uniform was utterly ruined. 

"I had to help Hange with an experiment with Eren and I didn't have time to change before I had to bring you the latest reports," you explained weakly as he surveyed you, looking more shocked as he fully realized just _how_ dirty you were. His eyes burned you; you felt your skin flare wherever he looked. It matched the red blush on your cheeks. 

"I don't care about the urgency of these papers. It's science; it changes all the time when new information comes about," he said. "When you come into my office I want you clean so you don't get my office dirty. Do you realize I've had to clean up every mess you've made? You're distracting me from work," he added the last part exasperatedly, standing up and approaching you. Your muscles tightened, worried he'll strike you. He was known for beating Eren into a pulp and giving troublemaking cadets a slap upside the head. 

"I'm sorry, Captain," you whimpered as he tore the stack of papers out of your dirt-covered hands. "I'll go clean up really fast and come back and clean this up." Levi slammed the report on his desk, staring daggers into you [e/c] eyes. 

"Don't you think you've done enough damage, Cadet [Last]?" he demanded. Biting your lip, you fought back tears. Sure, he had gotten mad at you before for tracking mud, but that didn't compare to his current rage. "Your cleaning skills are mediocre, anyway. You would ruin my floor." 

"I'm sorry, sir," you repeated, keeping his gaze. You were not going to let him know how intimidated you were. "I promise I won't ever track mud into your office again." He let out a small "tch" and sat at his desk, head in his hands. _Way to go. You just made his day way more stressful. Good job,_ you scolded yourself. 

"Go wash up, put on clean clothes, and come right back here. I need to think about how I'm going to punish you," he said without looking up at you. You quickly saluted before hurrying out. 

*An Hour Later* 

Squeaky clean and dressed in pristine clothes you were borrowing from Krista, you knocked on Levi’s office door. "Sir, it's Cadet [Last]!" you said. 

"Get in here," he demanded sharply. You opened the door quickly, entering as fast as you can. _Might as well get this over with as soon as possible._ "Shut the door." You obeyed. Looking to the ground, you noticed the mud you tracked in was no longer there. Guilt gave you a smart slap. "Sit down." he pointed to the chair in front of his desk. You sat down like a trained puppy. 

"[Last], how many times have you attended training with dirty clothes?" he asked, standing up and facing the window. 

"I don't know. Maybe ten," you guessed, blushing. You never imagined Levi would pay that much attention to your clothes. 

"Actually, it's been thirty," he corrected you. _He kept track?!_ You thought incredulously. "How many times have you tracked mud into my office?" Now, that one you _did_ know. 

"At least twice a week for the past month," you mumbled, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. 

"And I've given you extra cleaning duties every time, yet you're still not learning from your past idiotic choices." - He turned to face you - "For some reason, you refuse to learn from your mistakes by extra cleaning. So I'm going to try something different." - He stood directly in front of you, leaning back on his desk. He'd never been this close to you before, and you struggled to keep eye contact with him. Your stomach started knotting itself, terrified by the new punishment he will dole out. Or perhaps you were nervous because Levi was so close to you - "For the next two weeks, you will be my assistant." 

"Sir?" you asked, eyebrows raised. _Is that it? I just get to hang out with and help him for two weeks?_

“I'm not going to lie, I'm a busy man and I need help from time to time. And perhaps if you see how much work I have to do on a daily basis, you'll realize I don't have time to clean up after you," he explained. You stared at him, mouth slightly agape. _That's all?!_ You thought. _That's nothing! I'm practically getting off easy!_ "Stop looking at me like that. If you would just learn from your mistakes like a normal person I wouldn't have to resort to this." You shut your mouth and looked to the floor as a knocking sound entered the room. "Go answer my door," Levi commanded. You stood up as fast as you could, and while turning to get the door, your thigh caught on the arm rest of the chair. You tripped and fell to the stone floor, taking the chair with you. Levi sighed, and you could tell he was face palming too. 

“ This was a stupid idea." he muttered, then in a louder voice said, "Come in!" A sharp, throbbing pain in your thigh intensified as you lie on the cool floor. The door opened and you saw Hange Zoë stride into room. 

"I've been looking for you everywhere, [First]!" she said, offering her hand to help you up. "Something said I might find you over here." - She looked at Levi while you gingerly stood up, lifting the chair with your free hand and placing it on its legs - "Levi, I'm going to have to take back [First], I need some more help with training with Eren for a few minutes before lunch starts." 

"I can't do that, Hange." he told her. "She's my assistant for the next two weeks as punishment." Hange winced, putting an arm over your shoulders. 

"What did you do to get stuck with Captain Short Stack right here?" she laughed. You fought the urge to laugh, but a smile forced itself onto your face. Levi glared at the two of you. 

"She refuses to learn from her mistakes," he answered for you. "Have Arlert and Lenz help you instead. [Last] needs to undergo her punishment." 

"All right, but if they don't live up to my standards I'm coming back and forcing you to give me [First]," Hange warned, turning on her heel. "I will see you two later." she exited swiftly, shutting the door behind her. 

"Is your leg okay, [First]?" he asked gently, eyes quickly flitting to your thighs. You nodded, your name ringing in your ears. He'd never called you by your first name before, and your name on his tongue sounds almost intoxicating. 

"I'll be fine. I've had worse," you shrugged, trying to act like it was nothing. In fact, the pain had gotten worse. _Who knew arm rests could be so painful?_

"Good. Now, go bring me lunch. I have a lot of paperwork to do and I don't have time to go down to the mess hall and eat there," he commanded as he sat back behind his desk. 

"Yes, sir." you replied, turning on your heel to leave. 

“Oh, and [First]?” he beckoned, voice dripping with something that almost seemed like playfulness. You turned back to him. 

“Yeah?” you asked. 

“You have five minutes.” Your fists punched your body as you sharply saluted before hobbling out of the office. Levi snorted, turning back to his work. Amusement in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, he thought, _I’m going to enjoy working that girl to the bone._


	2. Don't Ask Me to Do Anything in the Morning, So Help Me God. (Day 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God help anyone that dares wake you up in the morning. And may He have mercy on anyone you think humiliates you, even if it is in private. Mornings just aren't your thing.

Thin fingers gripped your shoulders and nails lightly bit into your frame, clad in a thin nightgown whose bottom hem had made its way to your waist. You moaned as the hands shook your body urgently.

"Wake up, brat. I've let you sleep in long enough." A man's hushed voice cut through the previously silent dorm room. Half-conscious, you rolled away from the voice, gathering the blankets and hiding under them. A small "tch" filled the room before a wave of cold air assaulted you as Levi tore the covers off of you. You woke up. "I said get up." A red flush appeared on your cheeks as you squealed and quickly pulled the bottom of your nightgown down to hide as much skin as possible. 

"Captain, you don't barge into people's rooms and rip their blankets off!" you told him in an angry hush. Out of all the people that could have seen you in your frilly panties, he just happened to be the one. For a moment he looked just as mortified as you, but he quickly shook it off. 

“It’s four-thirty. It’s time to wake up,” he asserted, folding his arms across his chest. You scowled at him. 

“In the morning?” 

“No, in the afternoon,” he rolled his eyes. “Of course in the morning. I expect you in my office by five, with both of our breakfasts." Levi turned on his heel and left the room as you leaped out of your bed like an animal, grabbing at your uniform to swiftly pull it on. Your bra, shirt, and pants were easy enough to pull on quickly, but your harness was another story. The buckles seemed to rebel against you, refusing to be latched quickly. You shot a quick glance to the clock: four thirty-eight. Panic shot through your veins. _Screw it, I have the most important pieces buckled, I can do the rest later._ You thought, rushing out of the door. Although you were sprinting down to the kitchen, you were slower than usual. Your thigh was still sore where it had been rammed into the chair, and your undone thigh straps that were slapping against the injury didn’t help you at all. By the time you reached the kitchen, it was twelve minutes till, and your legs and lungs felt too weak to keep functioning. The cooks looked at you, a few curiously, and a few smirking in clear amusement. 

“Can -" 

"Go ahead and get food. Captain Levi gave us the heads up that you would be fetching food for you two for the next two weeks." one of them said, and you hurried to the large pot of what looked like oatmeal, spooning some of the clumpy goo into bowls. 

"Thank you." you said, pouring tea into two cups and grabbing two apples. You glanced at the clock: four forty-nine. _NO NO STOP CLOCK STOP,_ you thought hectically, and then added angrily, _If Captain Levi had told me yesterday to be up before four thirty, I could have avoided this scenario._ You grabbed the food-laden tray and walked quickly to his office, careful not to spill any tea. The door was thankfully open, and you barged in. He didn't even look up from his desk, his silver eyes simply slipping to the clock on his desk. 

"Two minutes till five. I'm not impressed. Be quicker next time," he said as you placed the tray loudly on the desk. That made him look up at your frowning face. You were irritated beyond belief. 

"I had thirty minutes to get ready after you came in and exposed me, I think I did pretty damn good job for that amount of time," you snapped at him. He raised an eyebrow. 

"I didn't 'expose' you. How was I supposed to know your nightgown was bunched around your waist? And you should be thanking me; I let you sleep in for thirty minutes this morning. Next time, I want you up by four.” 

"Maybe you should have told me to wake up at four _before_ you barged into my room!" you spat at him, sitting in the chair opposite him and pulling your food off of the tray. Levi smirked slightly. 

"You're not a morning person, are you, [First]?" he mused. You responded with a growl, shoving a large spoonful of oatmeal into your mouth. “Before you get comfortable, I need you to run these papers to Erwin.” He took the bowl out of your hands and replaced it with a heavy stack of papers. You quickly put your other hand under it to support the weight. “And be quick about it.” 

“Fine,” you sighed, standing up and leaving to go to Erwin’s office. You took your time walking there. Your eyes were stinging with lack of sleep, and your body just felt exhausted. A nap felt really nice. Or even better, going back to bed. _I doubt he’d let me go back to bed, or even let me take a nap on his sofa. You thought, irritated. He could have just told me yesterday to wake up extra early. There was no reason to go in and rip my blankets off._ The memory replayed in your head, making you blush. _I wish I had worn pants to bed instead of that stupid nightgown._ Erwin’s door was closed, so you knocked gingerly on the sturdy wooden door. 

“Yes?” his deep voice answered. 

“Sir, it’s Cadet [Last]. I’m here with some paperwork from Captain Levi,” you answered, and you could have sworn you heard a laugh from the other side of the door. 

“Come in.” You entered the office, twice the size of Levi’s and a lot warmer in atmosphere. You saluted, the paperwork caught in the middle of it. The commander looked at you confusedly, but it didn’t exactly faze you. After all, your hair was a mess and your harness was still partially buckled. “Cadet [Last], where are your shoes?” You looked down at your feet. They were indeed bare. 

“Uh, I don’t know. I must’ve forgotten them in my room.” Now that you were looking at yourself properly, you also noticed that a few buttons on your blouse were in the wrong holes, and although you couldn’t be _entirely_ sure, it looked like your pants were on backwards. 

“You forgot them in your room?” he asked, a thick eyebrow raised. 

“Captain sorta came and woke me up and told me I had only a few minutes before I had to be in his office with food. I didn’t have a lot of time to get ready properly. I apologize for my haphazard appearance, sir,” you explained embarrassedly, placing the papers on his desk. 

“He came into your room and woke you up?” he repeated. You nodded, and much to your chagrin, he chuckled. “Levi mentioned last night he had forgotten to tell you when to wake up and that he would go and wake you himself. I thought he was kidding, but I guess not.” your mouth turned into an angry frown, and Erwin seemed to notice you did not find it funny that Levi had planned waking you up. “Go get properly dressed, [First]. And put some shoes on, there’s still some broken glass in the corridors from where Kirstein and Springer broke that window.” 

“Yes, sir. Thank you for the heads up.” 

*Twenty Minutes Later* 

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting here for an hour.” 

“It’s been twenty minutes.” You were back in Levi’s office, clothes on correctly and your harness completely latched on. The corner of his mouth twitched, but you couldn’t tell whether it was out of irritation or amusement. 

“That still doesn’t answer my question of why you took twenty minutes to talk to Erwin’s office and back.” 

“He told me to go get properly dressed, since you didn’t give me enough time to do that this morning,” you snapped. Part of you was surprised at the words that just slid out of your mouth. Usually by now, you’d be your normal, timid self. But annoyance, lack of sleep, and hunger had seemingly taken over your mouth, it seemed. You were about to sit down when Levi handed you another stack of papers. 

“I need you to run these down to Hange. I want you back here in ten minutes,” he instructed. 

“Like fuck I’m doing this in ten minutes,” you mumbled, turning to the door. 

“What was that, Cadet [Last]?” Levi questioned with a threat laced in his words. He didn’t look amused anymore. You sharply exhaled and turn back to face him. 

“I said, ‘like fuck I’m doing this in ten minutes,’” you repeated yourself, not bothering to lie or cover up what you really said. He glared at you. 

“Might I remind you that I’m your superior? You need to address me with respect,” he told you sternly. 

“All right. Like fuck I’m doing this in ten minutes, _sir.”_ you taunted him. He stood up, slamming his hands on the desk. Usually, you would have flinched at such an action, but right now you were too tired, irritated, and _pissed_ to be scared of him. 

“[Last], if you don’t start behaving respectfully I will prolong your punishment to a month and give you double chores,” he threatened. 

“Oh my God, I’m so scared,” you said sarcastically, walking out of the door. 

“[Last], get back here right now!” he yelled at you. 

“Can’t, I have to go give these to Hange and be back in ten minutes!” you called back before running to the stairwell and descending it to Hange’s office. You doubted he would follow you, but you hurried away just to make sure. The trip to Hange’s office was quickly, as you rode down the banister almost all the way down. You walked to Hange’s open door. 

“Hange, I’m coming in!” you shouted. 

“Okay, [First]!” she said as you walked in. Unlike Levi, you had a very good bond with Hange. She had taken you under her wing when you first came to the Survey Corps, and you spent most of your free time helping her with experiments or pranking Levi. “I see Short Stack made you bring me a gift?” 

“I imagine he thinks it’s one,” you retorted, placing them on her desk. She chuckled. 

“How hard is Levi working you? Should I intervene?” she said, half joking and half-serious. 

“Yesterday wasn’t so bad,” you began, sitting on the edge of her desk. “He made me organize his bookshelf after I finished my chores, and then made me stay up till one in the morning with him while he finished paperwork. And by ‘finished paperwork,’ I mean he fell asleep at his desk and I snuck off to my room to sleep.” Hange smirked. 

“So basically he’s just had you around as an ornament?” she clarified. You shrugged. 

“Yeah. Although he did wake me up this morning and made me get him breakfast and then run papers to Erwin and you,” you stared at the ground, your legs kicking at the air. 

“He went and woke you up?” she asked. 

“Yeah. It was four-thirty this morning. He just stormed in and shook me, telling me to wake up. And when I wasn’t completely awake by that, he ripped my blankets off and . . .” you trailed off, face flushing for the umpteenth time that morning. 

“And?” Hange pushed you to keep going. 

“I . . . well I toss and turn a lot at night and so my nightgown sorta rides up, and I was wearing some frilly underwear I got as a gag gift from Christmas since I had nothing else clean, so - ” 

“So Levi saw you in your underwear?” You nodded and Hange burst into laughter. 

“It’s not funny!” you cried indignantly as Hange was doubled over with laughter, her fists pounding on the desk. 

“I wish I could have seen his face!” she giggled. She saw your look of utter mortification and hurt, and tried to contain herself. “Did it really bother you that much?” 

“They’re see-through, of course it bothered me! _Hange!”_ you shouted as she burst into another fit of laughter. 

“I’m sorry, [First], I just can’t stop picturing Levi’s reaction to that,” she wiped away tears from her eyes. “That does sound excruciatingly embarrassing, and I am really sorry you had to go through that.” You sighed. 

“I’m running on two hours of sleep, I had to go through that, and I haven’t had a chance to eat since he made me go directly from his office to Erwin’s and then here.” 

“Well, I’ll let you go then. You need to eat,” she said, and you coughed awkwardly. 

“I, uh, may have said something to Captain Levi and I may or may not be afraid to go back,” you mumbled. Hange grinned ear to ear, placing her chin in her left hand. 

“What did you say?” she asked excitedly. You smirked, knowing she would love what you had said. 

“Well he told me to be back in ten minutes, and I said, ‘like fuck I’m doing it in ten minutes.’ And he got on my case and told me to speak to him respectfully, so then I repeated myself, ‘like fuck I’m doing this in ten minutes, _sir,’”_ you recounted. Hange broke into a fit of hearty chuckles. 

“Oh my God, [First], I need to make you my assistant once he’s done, I need to see more of this sassy morning you,” she laughed. 

“With how the rest of the conversation went, I don’t think Captain’s ever going to be done with me,” you commented. “I kept mouthing off to him after that first bit, and he was pretty mad when I left for here.” That shut Hange up. 

“You kept sassing him after you initially made him mad?” she asked. 

“I’m tired, hungry, and mad; _of course_ I kept sassing off,” you confirmed. 

“[First], as much as I love you, you do have to give Levi some credit. He didn’t give you more chores for tracking mud into his office again. In fact, he’s completely excused you from chores just so you can be there with him all the time to help him.” 

“He excused me from chores for two weeks?!” you asked, eyes the size of saucers. Hange nodded. 

“Yeah, he argued with Erwin about it. He was saying he needed you around the entire time in case anything came up and that you couldn’t really help him if you were off doing other things. I think he even took you off of training, too, and volunteered to privately train you himself for the next two weeks.”

“He did _WHAT?!”_ your voice squeaked on the last word. _Levi got me away from chores_ AND _offered to privately train me?_ Your mind was racing. “Why would he do that?” 

“He’s just trying to take you away from me to punish me for all those pranks we pulled on him.” she snorted. “No, but I don’t know. All I know is he really fought for you to be his assistant and to train you. He and Erwin were arguing so much over it that eventually Erwin made me leave. ” You stared at the floor. _Why would he be so determined for me to carry out this punishment? He could’ve just given me something different than extra cleaning, like stable or kitchen duty. But why was he so adamant that I be his assistant?_ You felt a small stab of guilt. _I can’t believe he got me off of chores_ and _training, for the most part. I wonder what he had to do in order to get his way. He wouldn’t want to personally train me unless he saw I had really good potential._

“Hange, I’m gonna go. I think I should talk to him,” you said, jumping from the desktop and onto the ground. 

“Okay. If he kicks you out or tries to murder you for being rude, come back here and I’ll keep or hide you,” she said, and you laughed softly. 

“Thanks, Hange.” 

*Ten Minutes Later* 

You stood outside of Levi’s closed door. Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you knocked on the door gingerly. 

“What?” Levi asked irritably from the other side. 

“Sir, it’s Cadet [Last]. May I please come in?” 

“Get in here this instant, and shut the door.” You bit your lip and quickly entered the office, obeying his command. He looked less mad than before, but he still looked livid and frightening, his cold grey-blue eyes practically fire. You opened your mouth to begin your apology, but he beat you to it. 

“I expect you to treat me with respect,” he began, standing up and taking long strides towards you. It only took him a few seconds to get right up to your face. “No, I _deserve_ to be treated with respect from you. I am your superior, and that’s not even taking into account of how I’ve let you off easy in terms of punishment every single time!” he yelled, the last three words staccato. 

“Sir, I -” you began, slowly backing up. You hated how close he was to you, his toes touching yours. It felt so uncomfortable, and you could feel another flush appearing on your face. 

“I’ve never made you do stable or kitchen duty, I’ve given always you the easy route of cleaning,” he continued. “This is the first time I’ve actually gone hard on you, and you decide to bitch to me about it. You need to start being gracious and acting respectfully!” You jumped a little as your back made contact with the back wall. Levi was still in your personal pace, noses practically touching. You could feel your body trembling, terrified at the enraged Captain that had you against a wall. 

“I –I . . .” you stammered, looking at the ground. 

_“Look at me when I’m talking to you, [First],”_ he gripped your chin tightly and forcefully turned your head to look him in the eye. 

“I’m sorry, Captain Levi,” your shaky voice was barely a whisper. 

“What?” he growled. 

“I’m sorry,” you said shakily, but louder. “I came back here to continue my punishment and to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have mouthed off to you like that and I feel really bad about it. I promise to never to do it again, I swear on my life.” 

“You better never do it again, or I’ll make sure you regret it,” he vowed, letting go of your face. “Tch. What’s gotten into you today? The [First] I know wouldn’t have had the guts to say any of that.” 

“Lack of sleep and anger just do that to me, I guess,” you shrugged. _I really wish he’d back up and give me some space._

“Why are you mad? I let you sleep in this morning,” he asked. You bit your lip, glancing at the ground. The hardness left his face. “Oh, you’re mad about _that,”_ he realized, sighing. “[First], I’m sorry I did that, but in my own defense, I had no idea you weren’t decent.” _I was in bed, of course I wouldn’t be decent!_ you thought. “I won’t do that again, but know I will come and knock on your door if you aren’t in my office by five.” 

“Okay, sir,” you nodded, before the phrase, “I’m glad to hear you’ll stop that ridiculousness” slipped out of your mouth. You gave a short gasp, your hands flying to your mouth to cover your lips. To your surprise, Levi made a noise that sounded somewhat like a chuckle, moving back to his desk. 

“I’m ridiculous? I’m not the one with ruffled lace panties.” he said, a light teasing tone in his voice that made you grin. 

“I’m relieved to hear you don’t own a pair, sir.” you said, mock serious. He snorted. 

“Shut up and eat your breakfast, [First].”


	3. Borrowing Clothes From Krista was a Great Idea. (Day 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finds out you've been borrowing clothes from Krista and putting off washing your own, muddy uniforms. Luckily, he's not as pissed as you thought he'd be and he offers to teach you how to Properly wash clothes.

"[First], get down from there; you're going to break my bookcase."

"I am not! I'm just dusting the top of this like you asked!" You were hanging precariously from Levi’s bookcase, most of your weight on your left arm that was propped up on the top ledge of the bookcase. Your shoeless toes lightly brushed the edge of the third shelf. 

"You're going to kill yourself and take my furniture with you," he replied bluntly as you continued to dust. 

“Really, I'm fine. I'm not going to fall off, I'm not going to - hey!" you protested as he grabbed your dangling legs and lifted you up off of the bookcase. "Put me down!" you cried indignantly, flailing your arms. He rolled his eyes, the ghost of a smirk on his face. 

"You’re too stubborn, I never should have taken you in," he said as the door opened. It was the petite Krista Lenz, her blonde head peeking into the office. 

"Sir, may I come in? Or is this a bad time?" she asked as Levi quickly dropped you. You landed with your weight on your heels, making you tip backwards. 

"No," Levi responded as he looped a hand to the nape of your neck and centered you. "What is it, Cadet Lenz?" 

“I . . . Uh, [First], I really don’t mind helping you out and all, but um, I need the shirts you borrowed back,” she said. Levi’s head snapped to you and you let out a nervous laugh. 

“Yeah, they’re in the top drawer of the dresser in my room. It’s the dresser right next to the bed on the left. Thanks for letting me borrow them,” you said to the floor, avoiding Levi’s toxic glare. _Is he mad about Krista lending me clothes?_

“I’m just glad I was able to help you out, [First]!” she said, before turning to leave. She closed the door quietly behind her. 

“You’ve been borrowing clothes from Cadet Lenz for the past two and a half days?” he demanded, arms folded across his chest. 

“I kept trying to get the stains out of my uniform, and they wouldn’t come out, so I asked Krista if I could borrow some clothes until I managed to get mine clean. And that hasn’t happened yet,” you partially lied. You _had_ borrowed clothes from Krista, but you hadn’t tackled the daunting task of trying to get the stains out of your uniforms. Cleaning clothes wasn’t your thing. 

“So you’re saying your clothes are sitting in a hamper with grass and mud stains still embedded in the fabric, and you’ve left them there for more than a day?” he asked. 

“I haven’t exactly had the chance to clean them since I’ve been so busy helping you out,” you defended yourself. Levi sighed in exasperation. 

“All right. Go get your clothes; I’m going to teach you how to properly clean your uniform,” he announced. You nervously laughed. _Like hell I’m letting him near my underwear,_ you thought. 

“Sir, I appreciate the offer, but -” 

“[First], it wasn’t an offer. It was an order.” 

“I-I’d rather not wash my underwear in front of you,” you stammered, a light blush painting your cheeks. His eyes grew to the size of saucers, face blanching. If you hadn’t been embarrassed, you would have laughed at the utterly mortified look Levi wore on his face. 

“Cadet [First] [Last], you have three seconds to explain yourself and I sincerely hope for your sake you’re not talking about what I think you’re alluding to,” he said, his words becoming more heated as his face went from embarrassed to angry. 

“What?” you asked, unsure why he was getting upset. “Those leggings are thin, mud was bound to get to my panties through th -” You realized what he was talking about, and your mouth dropped. “Captain!” you exclaimed, face burning a bright tomato red. “How could you even suggest I’d have _those_ kind of stains on my underwear?!” 

“I have to make sure one of my soldiers isn’t running around risking getting herself knocked up,” he replied coolly. You noticed a very light pink flush growing on his cheeks. “And taking it into account that I’ve seen you in your underwear before, I imagined you would have gotten over it and wouldn’t care if I saw you wash your panties.” 

“I have _not_ gotten over it! It happened _yesterday!”_ you pointed out exasperatedly. 

“Just to clarify, you’re not -” 

_“Of course I’m not sexually active!”_ A short silence cropped up between the two of you. 

“Just go get your dirty uniforms, [First],” he said eventually. “I’ll start getting the washtub ready.” He turned his back and walked to his supply closet. You sighed melodramatically and obeyed orders. 

  


When you returned to Levi’s office, he was nowhere to be seen. You would have thought he left, if it weren’t for the open door next to the sofa. _Is that the door to his room?_ you wondered.

“Captain? I’m back.” you called out. 

“Get in here, you’ve taken long enough,” he shouted back, his deep voice sailing out of the open door. You hesitantly walked into Levi’s bedroom; it didn’t feel right that you were walking in there. Everything was as you expected. It was about the size of your own dorm room, but without three beds taking up space. Instead of a simple cot, he had a larger, _real_ bed that was perfectly made. A small nightstand stood beside it, and a wardrobe was against the right wall, next to yet another door. Everything was spotless. You saw Levi’s kneeling figure through the other open door, pouring water into a washtub. You walked into the smaller room. His washroom was just as immaculate as his office and his bedroom; you weren’t surprised. “You need to pick up your pace, you take too much time.” 

“I’m sorry I have a painful bruise that your bloody chair caused,” you said snarkily, kneeling beside him. You rested your arms on the edge of the washtub, the cool metal chilling your exposed arms. 

“Tch. You just need to stop being so clumsy. You got that bruise out of idiocy and I saved your life this morning by getting you off that damn bookcase.” 

“You did _not_ save my life, I was perfectly fine and then you decided to pick me up _without warning_ and then roughly place me on the ground,” you corrected him, and you swore you could see the smallest, genuine smile on his lips. 

“Stop arguing with your superior. It’s futile to try and win an argument against me, and annoying. And I thought you agreed yesterday that you weren’t going to mouth off to me anymore,” he said with an air of mock finality as he rolled up his shirt sleeves. 

“I believe I promised no _rude_ back talking. This doesn’t count,” you replied with an unsure grin. You weren’t sure what to make of this bickering. On one hand, you were secretly pleased that Levi was playfully teasing you. But on the other hand, you weren’t sure it was playful banter. After all, the man didn’t seem like the teasing type, it could be that he was just making fun of you. And although you didn’t _want_ to believe it, the rational part of your brain imagined this was the case. 

“What are you waiting for, [First]? Give me one of your blouses,” he commanded. You handed him a shirt, conveniently the shirt that had gotten most of the brunt of the being tossed around into the ground. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I can’t believe Hange let this abomination happen to your uniform.” 

“It’s not her fault Eren knocked me around a bit during experiments. Not that he hurt me, or anything,” you added hurriedly at Levi’s concerned looks. “I just lost my balance a lot and fell, or I had to do something that involved walking through mud.” He sighed. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised that your God-awful coordination caused these,” he said, melancholy. He dunked your shirt into the basin, and jerked his head towards the submerged shirt to signal you to do that same. You obeyed his unspoken command. “Thankfully, you were smart enough to brush off all of the mud from the shirts, so that makes our job easier.” You ignored his stab at you. “For grass stains, normally I would use bleach to get the stains out, but I’m running low and I don’t want to waste any of it on you, so we’re using rubbing alcohol instead.” 

“You’re running out of bleach? What a surprise,” you commented sarcastically. 

“I used it all cleaning up after you,” he replied. You couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. He picked up a glass bottle of the pungent, clear liquid, pouring it over the grass stains before handing it off to you. You repeated what he had done. “Let it set for a minute or two, and then wash it like you normally would.” He draped the blouse over the side of basin before grabbing a pair of pants and pouring alcohol over them. A thought occurred to you. 

“Sir, can I ask you something?” you posed the question, drenching your leggings in rubbing alcohol. 

“Yes?” 

“Why are you helping me with this?” He remained silent for a moment, folding your pants and placing them over the side of the washtub next to your blouse. 

“I can tell you’ve been babied most of your life. You just have that look about you. Even after years of military training, you still look like a pampered princess,” he glanced at you, silently asking for confirmation. 

“Yeah,” you revealed reluctantly. You had heard rumors that in the past Levi was a thug. Whether that was true or not, it made you feel a little ashamed you had had it so easy whereas he probably had fought tooth and nail for everything. 

“Sooner or later, you’re going to be on your own and you’ll need to fend for yourself. I want you to be prepared when the moment to start being completely independent comes. And washing clothes comes with that territory.” He smirked. “Besides, none of the other cadets know how to clean their uniforms properly, and I hope you teach those dumbasses how to really clean their clothes.” A small smile appeared on your lips. Your heart melted at his admittance of caring about your future. 

“Thank you, Captain, that means a lot to me,” you muttered. “Well, besides the calling my friends ‘dumbasses.’” you added with a laugh, before placing your blouse and pants into the soapy water of the washtub. 

“You’re my assistant; I have to show you the ropes. This just counts as that. Don’t start thinking I have a soft spot for you, or anything,” he said, roughly throwing your alcohol-drenched uniform into the washtub. 

“Yeah, because you clearly don’t,” you replied with a devilish grin.


	4. The Cookies Were So Worth It (Day 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the third day of your punishment, and thankfully you're getting a bit of a reprieve today: you're accompanying Levi and Hange to the market in order to restock the Survey Corps' supplies.

Your chest heaved as you sprinted from your dorm room to Levi’s office. Your alarm clock had gone off an hour late, and once again you had to change as fast as possible and then hightail it to Levi’s office. _Stupid clock! Why did it have to malfunction?! And during the weeks where I can’t rely on Mikasa to wake me up,_ you lamented as you reached the landing and flew down the hall. You grabbed the doorjamb, swinging your body into the office and face planting onto the stone floor. 

“What have you done now?” Levi asked in a bored voice as you lie on the cold floor, rolling onto your back and trying to catch your breath. “If you pissed off Kirstein again I’m not hiding you. I told you back then that I was only going to help you once.” 

“I’m sorry I’m late, Captain!” you slurred your words together, trying to catch your breath. “My alarm didn’t go off, and I got here as fast as I could! I’m so sorry!” A dull sort of pain started running through your head. You had braced yourself for your fall and your arms had taken most of your weight and slowed the fall a bit, but your head still had hit the hard ground. Levi sighed, and you heard the harsh sound of wood moving against stone. 

“Don’t apologize. I asked Ackerman to change your alarm clock to five. I wanted you to sleep in this morning,” he said as he walked over to you. “Are you okay? You sounded like you took a bad fall.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just winded,” you assured him. You knew you were going to get a headache later, but you had had worse injuries before; this was nothing in comparison. He grabbed your hand, gingerly pulling your torso up. His thumb lightly traced an oval-like shape on your forehead, the rest of his cool fingers resting on your temple and cheek. You could feel your face heating up as his lips made silent swears. 

“Tch. You need to stop being so clumsy. You’re going to get seriously hurt one of these days,” he said, eyes concerned but narrowed in annoyance. 

“I wouldn’t have fallen if you had told me I could sleep in till five. I ran here because I thought I was late, after all. Leave me a note saying not to panic next time, please,” you said, annoyed. He looped his free arm under your arms and behind your back, helping you up.

“Don’t blame me for your lack of grace. But I will leave you a note next time so you don’t get hysteric,” he promised. “Now, eat your breakfast. You don’t have much time to eat before we leave.”

“Where are we going?” you asked, looking at Levi’s desk: a small bowl of oatmeal and an apple sat on your side of his desk, ready for you to consume. You sat down and dug in. 

“We’re going into town today in order to get more supplies. You’re coming with me and the rest of the group,” he informed you. “It will be you, Erwin, Hange, Cadet Kirstein, Cadet Lenz, and I. We’ll be splitting in groups and shopping for supplies to make it go faster so we can be back by lunch time.” 

“Will it really take that long?” you asked, polishing off your oatmeal and moving onto the apple. 

“Probably,” he said, glancing at the clock. “We should probably head down to the mess hall to meet everyone.” He handed you a folded up piece of paper and a pen. “This is what we’re buying. Your in charge of keeping track of what we’ve bought, how much we bought, and what it cost.” You nodded, placing the items in your breast pocket. 

“Got it, sir,” you confirmed. He grabbed a small drawstring bag, no bigger than the size of your palm, from the top of his desk and put it in your hand. You could feel a small amount of weight and hear the jingling of coins as the bag moved. 

“If we have some free time, and if you see something you like, you can use this to buy it,” he said. “Watch over it well. It’s my money and I expect whatever you don’t spend back.” 

“Sir?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. He said nothing. “Captain, I can’t possibly -” 

“Think of it as a loan. You can pay me back later for whatever you buy. I knew you wouldn’t have time to get your money this morning so I’m letting you borrow some of mine for now, okay?” You bit your lip, placing the bag in the hidden pocket you had sewn into your jacket and securely fastening the zipper. 

“Thank you, sir,” you said. 

“There’s no need to thank me. Now come on, we’re going to be late.” 

*In Town* 

“All right, I’ll take Jean and Krista with me to purchase non-perishable supplies. Hange, you go with Levi and [First] to purchase food.” Levi sighed as Hange squealed, enthusiastically putting her arms around you two. 

“This is going to be so much fun!” she exclaimed. “Aren’t you excited, Levi?” 

“No,” he replied flatly before turning to Erwin. “We’ll meet you back here in two hours like we discussed in the wagon.” Erwin simply nodded before leading off Jean and Krista. You, Hange, and Levi walked down the narrow streets of the marketplace, looking for someone that was willing to haggle. You weren’t surprised when no one wanted to; nobody liked the Survey Corps and food was scarce. By law, the people had to let you at least try to haggle, but they made up excuses why they couldn’t, such as “I’m earning money for my daughter’s dowry” and “I have four mouths to feed, I need all the money I can get.” _I don’t understand why you don’t eat what you don’t sell, but whatever,_ you thought as yet another seller turned down Hange’s offer to haggle. But then again, you had never been in a marketplace. You didn’t know anything about how people got food or how they purchased it. Your servants had always bought things for your family, and you had never accompanied them on their shopping trips. The only shopping you had ever done was for fancy dresses to wear to parties. 

That being said, the marketplace fascinated you. Delicious, savory smells wafted in the air as some people prepared food in their stalls. Others had their wares for display, each vegetable and fruit patch creating a bright square of color, creating a gorgeous patchwork quilt that covered the sides of the buildings. And there were _so many people._ The whole thing excited you to no end. You stopped and stared often, eyes bright and full of wonder at the mundane things surrounding you. 

“Will you stop getting distracted and keep up?” Levi hissed at you. “We have a lot to buy in two hours.” 

“But Captain, I’ve never been to a market before!” you protested. 

“That’s not my problem. Stop stopping every five seconds,” he commanded. 

“Lighten up, Levi,” Hange defended you quietly. “It’s not like [First]’s stopping is stalling us any. God knows it won’t impede us from buying supplies.” She turned her head slightly to a stall a few feet away. A boy about your age was manning it, looking towards you and Hange. “In fact, maybe her wonder could help us out, a bit. [First], face me completely. Don’t look at the boy.” 

“Hange?” Levi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Undo the first top buttons of your shirt but act like your fiddling with your hands. And act nervous.” Hange said quietly. You stared at her curiously, but did what she said, hunching your shoulders and shrinking back. “And I’m really sorry about this.” Without warning, Hange slapped hard across your face, the sharp crack of skin against skin booming in the marketplace. The slap easily knocked you over, sending you sprawling into the ground. Tears from the pain and confusion were welling up in your eyes. 

“H-Hange?” you asked, your voice cracking. _What is she doing?_ you internally sobbed. 

“You stupid girl!” Hange shouted at you as you shakily stood up. Tears started streaming down your face. “We can’t do our job if you keep stopping every five seconds!” 

“I’m sorry,” you croaked between tears. _What the hell is she doing?!_ You glanced at Levi, who looked too stunned to do anything. Hange roughly grabbed your collar and pulling your face right in front of hers. 

“What?! You’re sorry?! Apologies are for babies! Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a stupid five-year-old!” –She leaned in towards your ear – “Go to that boy. Play wounded gazelle and flirt with him. Get a good price for that batch of lettuce, okay?” she breathed into your ear. “I’m sorry.” Before you could think, she shoved a tiny bag of coins into your hands; she was back to playing the bad guy. “Go get us some lettuce while we got get a drink. If you spend over your limit, you will wish you were dead. Got it?” she poked you hard in the chest. 

“Got it, ma’am,” you replied tearfully. _Hange’s really taking after Levi too much,_ you thought, wincing at the pain stabbing your cheek. Levi seemed reluctant to leave you, but Hange guided him down an alleyway not too far from the boy’s stall. You walked slowly over to him, making sure he could see it was painful to walk. 

“Hi, um, how much for the lettuce?” you asked in a meek voice. You knew the boy was trying to give you a sympathetic look, but you could only see condescension on his pretty face. 

“You didn’t deserve that. She was out of line,” he told you, gently grabbing your hand and squeezing it. You visibly winced, faking a hand injury. He pulled his hand away as quickly as he placed it. 

“It’s fine. It’s nothing new,” you said mournfully, folding your arms just under your breasts, popping your chest up; you ignored the stares he gave your body. 

“A pretty thing like you shouldn’t be in the military. Bitches like that shouldn’t toss around a pretty girl like you,” he told you. You wished you could blush on command, and you tried, but you were unable to. You looked to the ground instead while you contained your anger at his insulting Hange. Yes, her method was extreme and you doubted you’d forgive her for this, but she was still your big sister figure. 

“I don’t mind, really! I get paid a little, I get to stay in a nice big castle everyday. I . . .” – you sighed – “It just gets so lonely. Military men are brutes. They have no respect for women.” _Like you._

“You’re so beautiful, I can’t imagine there are men who haven’t respected and revered you,” he said. You almost gagged on the vileness of his attempt to sound seductive. “Tell you what, you meet me here in three hours, and I’ll show you around the market. I saw you stopping and staring a few minutes ago, and no one could give you a better tour of the place than me.” 

“I like the sound of that,” you practically swooned. You internally laughed at his smug grin. _The idiot is lapping it up better than I thought he would,_ you thought with immense satisfaction. You gave a tiny cough. “I will have to report back to my superiors, though, before I slip away. I should act like everything’s normal.” 

“Of course,” he crooned. 

“So, um, I will need to buy some lettuce,” you tried to sound embarrassed and demure. 

“Of course, beautiful. Tell you what? I’ll give you a really good price for these heads, and you can pay me back later with something a little different than money,” he propositioned, placing a hand on your arm. You giggled. _You are so lucky I haven’t torn off your head._

*Five Minutes Later* 

“I still don’t think that was necessary,” Levi complained as he pushed the large, boxy, wooden cart that you had thrown the lettuce into. 

“But it got us the lettuce at an incredible deal.” Hange pointed out. “Great acting, [First]. Levi and I were spying on you two and you play a wounded gazelle very well.” 

“Thank you,” you replied. 

“She only got the deal because that boy thought she was gonna blow him,” Levi pointed out irritably. Ever since you had reunited with them, he was looking particularly sour.

“Captain, I’m not going to run off with him and I sure as hell didn’t do anything with him so I don’t know why it matters to you how I managed to get the lettuce,” you said, stopping at a fruit stand. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you away. 

“Ignore him, Levi’s just jealous that that idiot boy got your attention and he hasn’t gotten any love from you yet,” Hange teased him with a devilish grin. 

“I am _not_ jealous, don’t be ridiculous,” Levi snapped at her. “I just don’t think [First] should be manipulating men like that because it could land her into some serious trouble. Will you _stop_ getting distracted?” He turned to you, once again planted in front of a small pastry vendor. You missed cookies so much, and right in front of you was a platter of your favorites. The baker smirked at you. 

“Would you like one, young lady?” he asked you as Levi walked up to you, leaving Hange with the lettuce. 

“It’s just a cookie, [First]. Come on, we can come back later,” he told you sternly. 

“I haven’t had one of these since . . . since I don’t remember,” you replied. He sighed, looking up the sky as if asking God for help with controlling you. 

“If I buy you this cookie, will you stop running off?” he asked. 

“Well, I guess I would, but I can buy it my -” 

“I’ll have two of those cookies, sir,” Levi interrupted you, pulling out his money out of his breast pocket. He and the baker exchanged money for the cookies. “You promise you won’t run off anymore? And if you do I can punish you in any way I deem fit? Agree to it if you want these.” 

“Hell yes I will, just give me the damn cookies,” you said urgently, reaching for them. He smirked as he handed you the treats. His hand found a place between your shoulder blades, leading you back to Hange as you bit into the cookie. A buttery taste filled your mouth as the cookie flaked apart into savory strips with just a hint of sweetness. It reminded you of your early childhood, sneaking them out of the dining room in your frock’s pockets and eating them late into the night as you stayed up past your bedtime reading. 

“Why am I not surprised you bribed her into behaving?” Hange asked, eyeing the treats you held in your hands, a look of pure elation on your face. Hange herself seemed to have an odd look on her face, but hers was a face of mischief. 

“Because it’s effective.” The three off you made your way down the long stretch of shops. The people towards the end were a lot friendlier than the initial farmers and merchants you had encountered, and they happily haggled with you for prices. 

As you finished your cookies you three left the market and entered the part of town where you had to enter a physical shop to buy things. It reminded you a lot of dress shopping with your mother, but instead of bolts of fabric and elaborate dresses in the windows, there were pastries, bright pieces of fruit, and delicious looking bread. Hange was friendly with the owner of the bakery, so she entered alone, leaving you and Levi behind. You looked around you, taking in all the breathtaking window displays. 

“Are you really interested in all of this?” he asked you incredulously. 

“I’ve never really been shopping. Unless it was for clothing,” you answered. 

“I forgot, the pampered princess had her servants do everything for her and her family,” he said, his voice less than kind. 

“What’s your problem, Captain?” you asked, head turning sharply to him. “You’ve been acting all cold since I flirted that guy out of half of his stock of lettuce. What gives?” 

“I haven’t been entirely cold. I bought you those cookies, remember,” he reminded you indignantly. 

“Yeah, to get me to stop wandering off. Seriously, why is it bothering you that I flirted with that guy?” you called him out. He started at you for a moment, looking lost for words. 

“I just think you shouldn’t flirt with men to get your way,” he told you. “Not all men are just going to accept lighthearted flirting. Some will want more and you could get in serious trouble.” 

“I can take care of myself, Captain, but I appreciate you being concerned,” you replied. 

“I don’t doubt you being able to care for yourself, but you can’t always be on top. You could get ambushed by a gang, believe me, I’ve seen it happen before,” he said, scowling at you. His scowl didn’t last very long, before he sighed. “Look, [First], I just want what’s best for you, and . . .” your ears slowly blocked out his voice as you noticed something over his shoulder. A large window, just to the left of the bakery. Pastels and bright colors exploded in the window front, a garden of colors in the middle of a sea of beige. Your [e/c] eyes grew as you realized what the shop was. You ignored the situation at hand and wandered over to it. You almost felt _pulled_ towards it. 

“[First]? [First], where are you going?” Levi questioned, his grey eyes following you as you walked towards the candy store. You had no idea these existed outside of Wall Sina. Candy was such a luxury; you hadn’t imagined it that stores selling solely candy were still running, let alone in Wall Rose. “What did I tell you about running off?” You failed to answer as you say the most beautiful box of chocolates in the world. They were twelve of them total, all different from the next. Truffles, the sign said right above the price tag. Your face paled at the price, but it didn’t stop your mouth from drooling. You loved chocolate, and the happy memories you had had while eating them. “[First], come on. It’s just a candy store. I can see Hange waiting for us.” 

“I haven’t had chocolate in so long,” you lamented. “The last time I had it was the. . .” Tears welled up at the memory, but you refused to let them. “. . . The morning before my life changed.” You remembered your parents, once loving and kind, turning into heartless monsters in front of you, denying you sweets and food, forcing you to change your body and looks all to impress a nobleman that was twenty years your elder so they could cement their place in Wall Sina. 

“[First], are you okay?” Levi asked softly, placing a hand on your shoulder. You nodded, forcing yourself to think of other things. 

“I’m fine, sir. Chocolate just represents a time when things were good,” you said quietly. 

“Levi. You may call me Levi,” he told you, gently squeezing your shoulder. You let him lead you over to Hange, who was waiting with several loaves of bread on top of all of the groceries. 

“All right. I’ll call you Levi,” you repeated. It was odd to call him that to his face; to you, it felt you always should address him with the utmost respect. 

“Did you wander off again?” Hange teased you. 

“That’s right; you wandered off after you promised me you wouldn’t.” Levi’s concerned face turned into a face of mischief. You stopped being tortured by the past and became worried about why he was looking at you like Hange looked at people she was pranking. 

“Levi?” you asked, taking a step back. 

“[First], take off your jacket and place it in the bin,” he commanded, taking something off of the side of the cart. It was a rope. Nervously, you shed your jacket, shoving it into a deep crevice. Levi approached you, stretching the rope as his arms spread apart. 

*Fifteen Minutes Later* 

“Sir, this is embarrassing, not to mention ridiculous,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck as you, Levi, and Hange made their way back to the center of the market to meet the others. Levi smirked, tugging at the rope he had tied to your harness. You jerked back. The people in the market noticed you in your makeshift leash, muffling their laughter behind their hands. Your face was redder than a tomato. 

“It was necessary. You broke your promise and that gave me the power to do this,” he said devilishly, giving you another tug on the rope. It made you take a step back. 

“Please untie the rope from my harness. People are starting to stare,” you told him. He grinned at your blushing face. He was enjoying himself too much: you could see it in his eyes. 

“They’re just appreciating my ingenuity.” 

“They’re laughing.” 

“Because you look ridiculous.” You groaned as Hange laughed. You could see Erwin and your friends were already waiting for you by a dry fountain. As you approached them, you could see Krista and Erwin’s concerned looks directed towards you and Jean beginning to laugh. 

“Levi, why do you have [First] in a leash?” Erwin asked, ignoring the doubled-over Jean. 

“She kept running off and getting distracted. This was necessary,” Levi explained to his unamused superior. 

“Take the rope off her harness. She’s a soldier, not a dog,” Erwin said. He glanced disapprovingly at Jean, who ceased his laughter. Levi sighed, but obliged, undoing the rope knot that kept you two linked. You shot a grateful look to the commander. “We’re ahead of schedule by forty-five minutes. It’s been a while since our cadets ha a day out, so I’m going to let you all spend this extra time shopping. But be back here before the forty-five minutes are over; we’re leaving on time, okay?” 

“Yes, sir!” you, Krista, and Jean said as you smiled at each other: this was going to be fun.

*That Night* 

“I still can’t believe you had me in a fucking leash,” you grumbled, stirring some sugar into your tea. You sat on Levi’s sofa as he organized his new cleaning supplies. You took a sip before placing it on the floor so you could have your hands free to take off your harness. 

“It taught you a lesson, didn’t it?” he asked. 

“It taught me that you can be a jerk,” you sassed him, making him chuckle. 

“Oh, really? I’m a jerk? It’s funny you call me that,” he began, putting down a bottle of bleach and walking to his desk. He opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small package. “Because I don’t think ‘a jerk’ would have gone out of his way to buy you a present.” 

“What, is it wood polish?” you mocked as he lightly tossed the present to you. It was a little heavy for such a small package. “Or is it a real dog leash?” 

“Just open it, [First],” he commanded, leaning on the corner of the desk to watch you open it. You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Is it going to kill me?” you asked. He rolled his eyes. 

“Open it, for God’s sake,” he told you. You pulled at the thin ribbon keeping the simple wax paper in place. The wrappings and ribbon fell to the ground, revealing a box. You placed it in your lap, lifting the lid off to reveal the present. Your hand flew to your mouth, tears springing up in your eyes at the sight before you. 

Levi had bought you the chocolates you had admired earlier. 

Without warning or even thinking about it, you started sobbing. No one had ever done something so nice for you. Your hands covered your face, quickly becoming wet with your tears. Levi looked at you, stunned and a bit hurt. _I thought she would like it,_ he thought. _She kept going on how it meant good things for her, and –_ his thoughts were interrupted as you quickly placed the box on the sofa before flying at him, throwing your arms around his shoulders and sobbing into his neck. 

“T-thank you, Levi,” you said in between sobs. His arms looped around your waist, pulling you in closer to him. He sighed in relief. “I-I-I can’t t-thank you enough. It’s p-p-perfect.” you continued to sob into his shirt, and he continued to hold you through the emotional ordeal. One of his hands went to your [h/c] hair, stroking the silky locks. 

“I’m glad you like it, [First],” he said soothingly. “Please stop crying. It’s just a box of candy.” you chuckled. 

“It may just be candy to you, but it’s wonderful memories to me,” you told him, looking up at him. He gave you a genuine smile, one that made your stomach feel almost a bit topsy-turvy. 

“Well, ummm . . .” You both looked to see that Hange had opened the door and stood in the doorway. “I was going to ask you for my report back, but I see you’re busy right now.” She pivoted on her heel, but turned to face you two with a mischievous look. “I’ll just come back when you two are done.” she winked at you two before leaving. 

“Wait, no, Hange, _it’s not like that!”_


	5. Hange and Erwin Decide to Take Things WAY Too Seriously (Day 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's come to yours and Levi's attention that Hange and Erwin have taken on their own assistants: Reiner and Jean. While Levi fumes about their actions, you find yourself in a compromising position.

“All right, brats. I don’t want this to take a lot of time; lunch is in twenty minutes,” Levi said authoritatively, walking down the row of lined-up cadets with you diligently on his heels. Erwin had asked Levi to make sure the cadets had properly done their chores due to recent amounts of slacking off, so you accompanied Captain Levi as he made sure your comrades had done their chores. You cradled a clipboard in the crook of your arm as if it were a baby, a pen ready at the ready. It was a list of your friends’ names, followed with what job they had to accomplish. “Now I’m going to rate you on how well you did your chores. No, you don’t get to know how the rating system works. This _score,_ if you will, determines whether or not you deserve double chores or not. Understood?” 

“Yes, sir!” the row called out strongly. 

“Good,” Levi replied with a dark, bored look on his face. His face slightly turned to you, but his eyes remained on the intimidated cadets. “What was Ackerman’s job?” 

“Cleaning the windows, sir,” you reported. 

“Who else had the job?” 

“Braus, Yeager, and Lenz,” you replied as Levi swaggered to the windows in the room, looking at them intently. You trailed him like a puppy following her owner. 

“You four, come here,” he demanded. They scampered quickly to join you two. “Who was in charge of this side of the castle?” 

“I was, sir,” Sasha piped up, looking nervous. Levi turned to face the four window washers, face in the same bored, unemotional look he always wore. 

“Braus, three,” he said flatly as you recorded the score. “Ackerman, from where I’m standing right now, what part of the castle were you in charge of?” 

“The side opposite Sasha’s, sir,” she replied. 

“Lenz?” he asked. 

“Sir, I did the right side,” Krista said. 

“Okay. Ackerman, five. Lenz, six. Yeager, one,” he announced as you jotted down the numbers. 

“Sir, you haven’t even seen what we’ve done yet!” Eren protested. 

“Shut up. I went around and looked at the windows before I called you all here. Fall back into line.” They hurried to resume their places as Levi turned to you. “[First], who was in charge of dusting and organization?” 

“Arlert, Springer, and . . . how do you even pronounce that? It looks like a load of gibberish. Ymir Unpronounceable Last Name,” you told him as they stepped forward. Levi gave a lazy look around the room. 

“You all worked on rooms together?” he inquired. 

“Yes, sir,” Connie confirmed. Levi gave a lazy look around the room. 

“Arlert, Springer, and -” – he looked over at your clipboard to see Ymir’s surname –“I’m not even going to attempt to pronounce that clusterfuck of letters. Arlert, Springer, and Ymir. All of them get sevens.” You wrote down the scores as Levi motioned for them to fall back. “Now, who removed all of the cobwebs from this floor?” 

“Braun, Hoover, and Kirstein,” you read off their names. Bertolt stepped forward, but Jean and Reiner did not. You looked down the line; they weren’t anywhere to be seen. 

“Hoover, where’s Kirstein and Braun?” Levi demanded, striding up to Bertolt and staring coldly up at him. Your friend flinched as if Levi had hit him. 

“I – I, uh, Hange came to us when we were working, and she asked Reiner to help her with some things.” 

“That’s nice and all but why isn’t he here? And where’s Kirstein?” 

“I d-don’t know where Reiner or Jean are. Squad Leader Zoe said it would only take a few minutes but he never came back to help me and Jean, and then Commander Erwin came and asked Jean to help him with something, and he never came back either.” 

“You didn’t go to look for those two?” Levi demanded, making Bertolt sweat even more. 

“No sir, I assumed they were helping with important things since they never came back and they had been recruited by Squad Leader Zoe and Commander Erwin,” he explained. 

“So, not only do you have no idea where they are, but you also got rid of all the cobwebs on this floor by yourself?” 

“Yes, sir.” To the others, Levi looked just as dead as always. But you knew him better, and you picked up the faint, vaguely impressed look in his eyes. 

“Hoover, eight,” he said, and you wrote it down quickly. “Put an ‘x’ beside Braun and Kirstein. Hoover, fall back. Now, for the rest of you,” – Levi stepped back to face the rest of the group – “I want all of you to report to the mess hall. Except Hoover. You stay here with [First] and I. You are dismissed.” Your friends quickly left the room, leaving Bertolt standing nervously at attention. “At ease, Hoover.” 

“Thank you sir,” he said, falling out of his salute. 

“Why did Hange and Erwin come and get Braun and Kirstein?” Levi asked him again. “Did they say anything about why they were taking your friends away from their chores?” 

“Commander Erwin just said, ‘Kirstein, I need you to help me with some things,’ and then Jean replied that he’d help the Commander, and never came back. And when Squad Leader Zoe came in, she said, er, said that she -” – he drew air quotes – “‘Needed a nice, strong man to help her with some experiments,’ and Reiner went off to help her. That’s all I heard and I’d imagine they’d still be with the superiors that picked them up,” Bertolt explained, switching the weight to between his feet every few words. 

“That’s everything?” Levi asked. 

“Captain, does it really matter that Reiner and Jean weren’t here? I mean, looking from the place Bertl did a really good job of cleaning out the cobwebs,” you argued. 

“Thanks, [First],” Bertolt blushed. Levi shortly exhaled. 

“It doesn’t matter that Hoover had to clean the entire place by himself. What I’m concerned about is why those two never came back to their chores.” 

“Well, it’s not like Reiner to just skip chores. Jean I could see skipping though,” you told him. 

“I-if it helps, Captain, as Hange was leaving she said something to Reiner about ‘getting back at someone,’ or something like that. Then again she said it so quietly I couldn’t really understand what she was saying, so maybe I misheard,” Bertolt added. Levi raised an eyebrow. 

“She said she wanted to get even?” Levi repeated; Bertolt nodded, wiping sweat from his brow. “Thank you, Hoover. You can go to have lunch. Come to my office if you find Braun and Kirstein, and bring them with you so they can explain themselves. [First], you know the drill.” he nodded curtly at you. _Look out for Reiner and Jean, and then bring up our lunches._ You saluted him. 

“Yes, sir.” You and Bertolt turned and left the room, leaving for the mess hall while Levi went back to his office. 

“How’s working for Captain?” the tall cadet asked once Levi was out of hearing range. You thought about last night, eating chocolates in his office and the playful bickering that had ensued. A grin tried to work itself onto your face but you made sure it stayed hidden. 

“It’s okay,” you shrugged. “What have I missed? I feel like I haven’t seen anyone in ages.” 

“Nothing, really. Just the same old, same old,” he said. “[First], Captain Levi isn’t _abusing_ his power, is he? Sasha mentioned to me that you never went to your dorm last night to go to bed. If he’s -” 

“No, no! He’s actually pretty nice to me, considering this is Levi we’re talking about.” you told him. “No, Bertl, I’m totally fine. He’s not doing or has done anything inappropriate. I just fell asleep on his sofa and he couldn’t move me so he let me sleep there for the night, that’s all.” Bertolt sighed in relief. 

“Good. Reiner and I have been worried about that, and I speak for the both of us when I say I’m glad you’re fine. But if he tries anything, just let us know. We’re here for you,” he said. You lightly elbowed his ribs as you entered the mess hall. 

“I can take care of myself, Bertl, but your offer means a lot to me,” you said, scanning the room for Reiner and Jean. They were nowhere to be found. You got yours and Levi’s lunches, and trudged back up to his office, leaving Bertolt and the rest of your friends. 

Levi was in his bedroom, searching through his drawers. Having placed the food tray in his office, you walked right in. “Levi, what’s going on?” 

“I’m making sure Hange hasn’t stolen anything of mine,” he said. “My cleaning supplies are untouched, my washroom is fine, and everything in here seems to be in order. I don’t know what Hange has planned but I can tell you I’m not looking forward to it.” 

“Bertl said that he might’ve misheard her,” you pointed out. “I don’t see why you’re in such a mess over this. It’s not like Hange’s gonna do some lethal prank, or anything.” 

“You don’t know that, [First],” he said, almost feverishly, looking you dead in the eye. You had never seen him look this freaked out. 

“Levi, come on. There’s no point in worrying about it. Our food’s gonna get cold if you keep this up,” you gently tried to reason with him. He sighed. 

“For once, you’re right.” He followed you into the office, sitting down in his cushy chair. You sat opposite him. “The last time Hange pulled a prank on me, it wasn’t pretty.” 

“Why, what happened?” you asked curiously. You did recall one prank Hange pulled on him without your help, and you had never been able to hear the story of what happened. He coughed. 

“I would rather not tell you. It was not a fun experience.” 

“On the contrary, I think it sounds quite humorous,” you leaned in towards him. He rolled his eyes. 

“Just eat your lunch and leave me to my paperwork,” he said. The sound of knocking invaded the room. “Come in,” Levi called as you dug into your soup. With a large folder in his hands, Jean Kirstein walked into the room. No, you realized, he _swaggered_ into the room. You hadn’t seen him look this arrogant since the day you met him at training camp. “Kirstein, explain to me why you abandoned your chores today.” 

“Sir, I’ve come with some important paperwork from Commander Erwin,” he ignored Levi’s question, and you could see the irritation in your superior’s face. “He says that it’s extremely important that you finish these forms and have [First] deliver them back as soon as possible.” 

“Get the folder from Kirstein, [First],” Levi commanded lazily. You stood up quickly, careful not to hit the arm rest of your chair, and took the folder from Jean. He gave you a cocky grin, looking you straight in the eye and winking. “It’s good to see you again.” 

“Thaaaaanks, Jean,” you replied awkwardly and with a quick tug of your hand, removing it from his grasp. _The hell was that for?_ you thought. “I haven’t seen you in what, a day?” You tossed the folder onto Levi’s desk. You could see that he was starting to get angry. 

“You still haven’t answered my question of why you ditched your chores today, cadet,” Levi said, raising his voice. 

“Is this a bad time? Hange asked me to give you these, Captain. She said it was more important than any papers Commander Erwin could have given you.” In the door frame stood Reiner Braun with a very large stack of papers. 

“Braun, get in here. Why did you and Kirstein skip chores today?” Levi demanded, clearly irritated and close to anger. Reiner came in and placed the stack of papers on Levi’s desk before slapping you on the back. 

“It’s great to see you, [First], I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!” he said, placing a kiss on your forehead. You lightly slapped at him, shooing him away. Out of the corner of you eye you could see Levi’s livid face drain of color. 

“Yeah, same, Reiner,” you said flatly. _God, what is with these guys?_ you thought indignantly. 

“What is going on here, Kirstein and Braun?” Levi hissed as Hange and Erwin appeared in the doorway. 

“Reiner, I see you’ve given Short Stack my report?” she asked, striding into the room and throwing an arm over the muscular teen. 

“And I see that you’ve also given him my papers, Jean,” Erwin said, meeting the teenager halfway and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Good work!” 

_“What’s going on here?”_ Levi demanded, shooting up out of his chair and walking towards the group. 

“We were just checking up on our assistants to make sure they were doing their jobs,” Erwin explained. _What? Jean and Reiner? Assistants? Since when,_ you thought incredulously. 

“Your _assistants?”_ Levi asked angrily. 

“Well, you’ve been so on top of your game since you started making [First] help you out, we thought we’d take in our own assistants,” Erwin explained. 

“I took in [First] as a punishment. Not because I felt like it,” Levi reminded his superior. 

“Really? I thought you took in [First] so you’d have a nice piece of eye candy in your office,” Hange commented. 

“Hange!” you reprimanded her, your face flaring with heat. Levi looked just as mortified as you. 

“If you can take an assistant, there’s no reason Hange and I can’t do the same,” Erwin said with a shrug, before turning to Jean. “We should go; I have some paperwork I need you to run to some of the Squad Leaders.” 

“Yes, sir.” Jean saluted and followed the commander out of the office. But before he left, he gave you a wink. You stared after him. You couldn’t imagine why Erwin picked Jean of all people to help him out. Armin, that would have made sense. But Jean? 

“Reiner, we should get going too. I’ve also got some very important paper work that requires you sitting needlessly in my office for hours on end,” Hange said, grinning mischievously at you and Levi, who still looked mortified and livid. 

“Sounds good to me, ma’am,” he agreed. He ruffled your hair. “I’ll see you around, princess.” He followed Hange out of the office. You turned to Levi, who stood dumbfounded. 

“Well, I think we know what Bertl said when he heard Hange talk about revenge,” you told him. He said nothing, simply staring past the doorway. “Levi, say something. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“I can’t believe they’re doing this. It’s completely uncalled for,” he seethed, striding into his bedroom. “Follow me, [First].” You scrambled after him as he continued. “I should have known Hange would do something like this, but Erwin? It’s childish, that’s what it is.” He opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a bottle of wine. “I need a fucking drink.” 

“Should you be drinking on the job?” you asked him, folding your arms across your chest. He rolled his eyes at you, pulling out a glass and placing it on the nightstand. 

“Should you be calling your superior out for wanting some wine?” he volleyed. 

“Yes,” you retorted. He sighed, pouring the red liquid into the glass almost to the top. 

“If you keep quiet about this, I’ll let you have some too,” he bribed you. You had had wine more than a few times before, and although you weren’t going to kill a man over a bottle, you liked it all right. 

“Sure. But I’m stopping you after three glasses,” you told him as he offered the glass to you. You took a quick swig and handed it back to him. “I’m not drinking all of that. Do you want me passed out on your floor?” 

“I would prefer you passed out on my couch, but whatever suits you,” he replied dryly, walking back into the office with the glass in hand. To your surprise, he took a large swig from it. “And I wasn’t offering the whole thing,” he said over your stammered, “I drank out of that.” He smirked at your shocked face. “I may be a clean freak but I don’t mind sharing a cup with a girl I know is clean.” He sat at his desk, taking another sip. 

“Levi, are you feeling okay? Surely you’re not drunk already?” you asked. _The Levi I know wouldn’t share anything with me, let alone a glass of wine,_ you thought. 

“I’m not a lightweight, [First],” he assured you, starting to look over the papers Reiner had brought. His eyes flickered up to your surprised face. “You should drink up. I have the feeling today is going to be _very_ long.” 

*Two Hours Later* 

You sat in your chair in front of Levi’s desk, listening to him rant about Hange and Erwin. He had been drinking throughout the past two hours, and now a third of the wine bottle was gone. You admitted you had had a few sips, but it was nothing compared to the amount Levi had drunk. 

“I mean, why the hell should they get lackeys? I work harder than them,” he was complaining as you stood up to stretch. You walked to the window behind him, staring out into the overcast day. 

“Their lackeys? You mean their assistants,” you corrected him. 

“Their lackeys,” Levi repeated as if you had said nothing, taking a drink straight out of the bottle. 

“Is that what you think of me? As your lackey? Here I was thinking I was special to you,” you said mock serious as you leaned back to stretch your tummy. He snorted. 

“Once you’re done with exposing your stomach, I want you to carry up my new bottles of bleach, lackey,” he deadpanned, making you laugh. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” you retorted, curtseying to him. You lost your balance and fell over, your back slamming into one of the legs of his chair. 

“And that’s how you should be treating me,” he commented. You felt his fingers gently brush the top of your head, then entangling themselves in your [h/l] [h/c] hair. 

“What are you doing, Captain?” you asked, looking up at him. He had a serene look on his face and a small smile on his lips. 

“I just like the feel of your hair,” he said simply. You sighed as Levi continued to stroke your hair. You liked it when people played with your hair, and you loved the fact it was Levi who was the one running his fingers through your hair. It made your heart flutter, even though you knew he was only doing it because he was drunk. That was the only rational explanation. 

“I’m cutting you off now,” you told him, getting on your feet and grabbing the bottle. You turned to go put it back in his nightstand. He yanked on your hair, not painfully, but enough to keep you from moving forward. 

“[First], I’m not drunk,” he assured you. 

“You were stroking my hair and you’ve gone through two bottles of wine. I think that means you’re drunk,” you argued with him. He laughed as he grabbed the bottle and placed it out of your reach. You pried his hand out of your hair and reached across his desk to grab the bottle. His arms shot out and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you away from the bottle and onto his lap. “Sir, please don’t. The door is open,” you blushed. You didn’t mind sitting on Levi’s lap one bit, but you would rather do it in private. 

“It’s fine.” He waved his hand as if to wave away your worries. “No one is going to come in and see us.” 

“Captain Levi, I have . . . should I come back later?” You face palmed as Jean appeared in the doorway, staring at you and Levi with a mischievous look. _Of course. Of_ course _this had to happen now. Levi fuckin’ jinxed it._

“No, no, now is good. What is it, Skirtein?” 

“Kirstein.” 

“That’s what I said.” 

“Commander Erwin came to tell me you two are having dinner in the mess hall with everyone else tonight. He says you’ve had enough dinners alone in your office, and that it’s time to be sociable,” Jean told you two. _And of course we have to be in public when he’s drunk. Figures,_ you lamented. _But it’s not like we can tell the Commander no._

“I have a lot of work to do; I need to eat up here with [First] tonight,” Levi told him. “Tell Erwin we’re not eating in the mess hall.” Jean looked to you, and you gave him a small shake of your head while mouthing the word, “No.” 

“Okay, I’ll tell him that,” Jean said, but gave you a silent confirmation with his eyes that he was going to tell Erwin what you had said. 

“Good. Now get out,” Levi told him. Jean saluted, and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind him. 

_“Now_ will you stay put?” he asked, his breath hot on your neck. 

“Fine,” you sighed, glad he couldn’t see your wide smile. _I guess I’ll just have to endure this agony._

*Dinner Time* 

You hadn’t been able to convince Levi to stop drinking, but you got him to agree to slow down on the drinking. You two slowly made your way down the stairs and to the mess hall. You had forgotten how crowded and noisy it was. It felt you had been gone for longer than almost four days. You waited in line patiently with Levi, and soon enough you got your food. You went to sit with your friends, but Levi grabbed the back of your small leather apron. 

“No, I want you with me,” he commanded. You looked mournfully over at your friends. You loved having your meals with Levi, but you missed eating with Sasha, Bertolt, and Eren. 

“Yes, Captain,” you said, eyes widening as the hand that had grabbed your apron made its way up to your waist. Blushing, you made your way to Hange and Erwin’s table. Hange simply grinned devilishly at you two, while Erwin looked on in disapproval. You sat next to Jean, who was across from Erwin, Hange, and Reiner. You were across from Reiner. 

“Nice to see you two made it,” he commented, eyes flickering down to Levi’s arm around your waist. Your blush deepened. _Why didn’t I take that wine away right after he got his first drink?_ you groaned to yourself. You wish you could simply tell everyone Levi was drunk and that’s why he had his arm around you, but you knew if you threw him under the wagon, he was going to take you with him. And you knew Erwin, although he seemed to like you, would have your hide if he knew you had been drinking on duty. 

“Nice to see that you thought I’d have problems getting here.” Not your best line, but it was all you could think up. He smirked into his spoonful of stew. 

“Levi, have you gotten a chance to look at the paperwork I had Jean send to you?” Erwin asked, his eyes resting on the arm Levi had around your waist. You put down the spoon in your hand and started to pry his fingers off of you. As much as you loved the feeling of Levi’s hand on your waist, you were embarrassed by the looks you were getting. 

“Yeah, they were boring as hell,” Levi said bluntly. “I got though about half of it. I’ll finish it before I go to bed tonight and have [First] bring them to you. What are you doing?” His head turned sharply to you. His silver eyes bore holes into your [e/c] ones. 

“Moving your arm,” you replied nervously, wishing that your superiors and comrades would ignore you. 

“But I like it where it is,” he told you firmly, tightening his grip and pulling you closer. 

“But it’s sorta inappropriate for right now,” you said, and you automatically regretted your response. You could see Erwin’s eyes narrow, and you knew he took your “don’t do this” as a “don’t do this _now.”_ Levi sighed, gave his signature “tch,” and removed his arm from around your waist, putting it on the table. 

“You’re usually so fast with reading them. I’m surprised you haven’t finished them already,” Erwin commented and you quickly occupied yourself with your stew. For whatever reason, Levi had a fascination with your hair and had played with it for an hour and a half instead of reading the papers Jean had brought. Hange noticed your reaction and grinned ear to ear. 

“Were you distracted from reading, Levi?” she questioned mischievously. 

“He was busy helping me clean up,” you covered for him. You figured in his state, the less he talked, the better. “I broke some glass in his office and it went everywhere and he was helping me sweep it up.” Hange seemed to believe you, but you could see in Reiner and Erwin’s eyes that they didn’t buy your lie for a moment. But for whatever reason, they didn’t call you out on it, and you were immensely grateful they didn’t. 

Silence fell, and everyone focused on eating. You wanted to eat as quickly as possible and return to Levi’s office, but with his sloth-like pace, you knew he wasn’t going to be done for a while. You almost choked on a piece of bread as you felt something brush against the back of your calf. You discreetly glanced under the table, and saw Levi was rubbing his foot over your calf. Turning red, you gave him a small glance. He returned the glance, but where your look was mad, his was sly. _Of all the times he decides to take an interest in me and it’s when we’re having dinner with his superiors!_ you complained. 

“Reiner?” Hange asked her assistant, bored. 

“Yes, ma’am?” he replied. 

“I’m tired of moving my arm. Will you feed me?” Levi looked away from you, glaring at Hange. 

“Of course, ma’am,” Reiner replied with a grin, tearing a bite-sized chunk of bread off of Hange’s loaf and delicately placing it in her mouth. You looked to Erwin, figuring he would give her the same disapproving look you had received moments ago. He saw, but simply shrugged and went to his own meal. Levi, on the other hand, knew what Hange was doing and what she meant behind it. 

“If you think I make [First] feed me, or that I treat her like a slave, you are dead wrong,” he spat at her. “Just because she’s my assit . . . just because she helps me out doesn’t mean I’m using her like a slave.” 

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow, a grin on her face. “I wasn’t meaning to _insinuate_ anything.” 

“Tch. Lies,” he responded. “You and I both know that the only reason you’re doing this,” he flailed his arms to indicate Jean and Reiner sitting with you. “Is because you’re letting me know that you don’t like that I gave [First] a weird punishment. I know you don’t approve, but I’m not asking for it. And I don’t want it either. You two,” he pointed at Hange and Erwin. “Can go to hell. I’m just doing what any man like me would do when he’s got an unruly misfit. You need to discipline her and put her in a subordinate position to make her start behaving.” Your tablemates looked shocked and you knew fully well why: you knew what Levi meant, but you knew that everyone else was taking it as a confession that he was doing inappropriate things with you. 

“Captain doesn’t mean that,” you spoke up quickly and nervously. “He’s just tired; he was up really late doing paperwork.” 

“I told you to call me ‘Levi,’” he reminded you. “Stop with this ‘Captain’ shit, it’s getting annoying.” – He turned back to his superiors and their assistants. “I want you guys to stop with this trying to make me feel bad. Because I don’t. I don’t regret taking [First] in. She’s been nothing but great as fuck, and I’m sure as hell keeping her for as long as I can.” You could feel your face turning red. 

“Stop talking, Levi, just stop,” you asked of him, placing your head in your hands to hide the blush that was growing. He stood up swiftly, stealing your hand away. 

“Come on, we’re leaving.” he growled. 

“I’d rather -” you began. 

_“We’re leaving,”_ he repeated threateningly, pulling you out of your chair and out of the mess hall. You pulled your hand away from his; if you had kept your hand in his, it would look like Erwin and Hange’s silent accusations were confirmed. You followed him in silence up the staircase and back into his office. “Shut and lock the door,” he commanded, and you obeyed. He stormed past his desk and went straight into his bedroom. When he returned you saw he had another bottle. You knew it wasn’t wine because the bottle was short and full of a dark brown liquid, but you didn’t know what it was. 

“Levi, you need to stop. You just bitched out Hange and Erwin. Not to mention you’re drunk enough already,” you said, striding towards him and making a grab for the bottle. He dodged you and sat down at his desk. 

“Let me have this. Go hang out with your friends, or something. Leave me be,” he told you, once again drinking straight from the bottle. You pointedly sat right across from him, staring him in the eye. 

“I’m not leaving you when you’re in a miserable state like this,” you told him firmly. “And I think we need to talk.” 

“About?” 

“Why does it bother you so much that Hange and Erwin took assistants? I get being pissed that they did it to make fun of you, but honestly they haven’t done much and I don’t see why this is something worth getting drunk over.” 

“They’re making fun of you too,” Levi pointed out. “You honestly think they’re just attacking me? Did you see the way Braun interacted with Hange? That was an attack on you and I don’t want them insulting you!” He placed his hand softly on the top of your head, ruffling your hair. “You’re such a sweet soul, [First], and you don’t deserve getting mocked like that.” 

“Reiner acts like that with _everyone!”_ you informed him as you took his hand off your face. “He’s a flirt! Trust me, I should know! And besides, why should we care what other people think anyway? So what Erwin thinks you’re banging me? He can’t do anything without proof, and he doesn’t have any, so why should it matter?” 

“You should know that reputation matters here, [First]. If there was a rumor going around about us screwing, you do realize that it could seriously affect both of our careers?” You exhaled slowly. He had a point. He may be drunk, but he had a point. 

“I still don’t see why it’s driving you to get wasted,” you said quietly. 

“I don’t want to deal with this right now, that’s why,” he replied coldly with another sip of the dark drink. “I’ve got too much on my mind to worry about this.” 

“Do you . . . do you want to talk about what’s going on besides this? Would it help you at all?” you ventured cautiously. Levi wasn’t the talking type; you didn’t even have to know him well to know that. But you thought maybe talking would help. He shook his head, and took a lock of your hair, twisting it around his finger. 

“No. I don’t want you to worry. I just want you to do your job and only worry about getting paperwork to Erwin and Shitty Glasses quickly,” he said softly. You nodded. You understood his concern, but it upset you that he wouldn’t let you help him. 

“Okay,” you replied. “Thank you for your concern.” He gave a smile; a genuine, from the bottom of his heart smile, and you couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Anything for my favorite cadet.”


	6. On the Other Hand, Jean and Reiner Take Things WAY Over the Top (Day 5)

“Uh Levi, I think you should read this one. It’s saying something about rations.”

“I read it yesterday, just sign it for me.” You sat on Levi’s bed, your back against the wall, a small stack of papers beside you. He was lying in bed, propped up by a few fluffy pillows. You sighed but did as he said, forging his signature like he taught you to do. “I can’t believe you let me drink that much. My head feels like it got split open.” 

“I kept trying to get you to stop, remember?” you reminded him. “But you told me that you didn’t want to deal with the Hange and Erwin making fun of you thing, so I felt bad and let you go on before you passed out trying to braid my hair.” 

“I don’t remember that,” he commented, taking a drink from the glass of water you had gotten him when he woke up. 

“I’m sure you don’t remember a lot of thing,” you countered, eliciting a groan from him. 

“What did I do?” he asked. You giggled, knowing how he was going to reaction and relishing how upset he was going to be. 

“Do you want it in order from bad to worse, or in chronological order?” you asked. 

“Just tell me. Stop stalling and lower your voice, you’re so fucking loud, it’s obnoxious.” You snorted. 

“All right. Suit yourself. You played with my hair for about two hours, made me sit on your lap for a good hour plus, had your arm around my waist for all of dinner, and you told Commander Erwin and Hange to ‘go to hell’ among other things.” But to your surprise, Levi didn’t groan and act ashamed. He simply shrugged, staring into his water. 

“Not bad. I remember all of that, I just don’t remember what happened after you let me brush your hair,” he said. 

“Well, you didn’t really do much after that,” you began. “You just hummed to yourself and occasionally asked if I was tired and wanted to go to bed. I kept saying no. Eventually you asked if I wanted to spend the night in your office again, and I said yes because I didn’t want to leave you by yourself. You set up the couch for me again like you did the night before, and then we went back into your room and you started braiding my hair. And then you started getting a little creepy and started telling me you wanted to keep me in a tower so I could grow my hair out, and then once it was long enough you were going to cut it off and make a cravat out of my hair.” 

“I’m sorry for saying those things. You know I’d never keep you in a tower. I’d keep you locked in a dungeon.” 

“I know, don’t worry.” 

“Good. After that did I pass out?” 

“No. After you told me about the hair cravat you went into the bathroom, threw up, started crying because you threw up in the sink and had to clean it up, even though I offered to do it for you, and so you cleaned while talking to the bleach about how you loved me more than it and you were sorry that it wasn’t the thing you loved the most anymore. After that you came back to bed, tried to braid hair, and that’s when you passed out.” Levi remained silent for a moment, letting your words sink in the air. 

“By ‘came back to bed,’ do you mean we -” 

“No. I mean we had been sitting on your bed, and you came back and sat down behind me to play with my hair more.” He sighed in relief. 

“Good. I’m sorry you had to go through that, [First]. You shouldn’t have to baby me like that. Or watch me talk to the bleach while wasted.” 

“It’s fine. I enjoyed watching over you. I have so much blackmail material now,” you laughed while he rolled his eyes. 

“Just don’t tell anyone that I was drunk. Or what I did.” 

“Well everyone saw you having your arms around me at dinner, and you bitched at Erwin and Hange in front of their faces, so they already know some of the things you did while drunk. But I don’t think they knew alcohol was why you were doing those things.” He sighed in relief. 

“Good. Are you almost done with those papers?” he told you. 

“Yeah. The final paper was the one about the rations. I’ll go hand them back to Erwin.” You gathered up the papers and stood up. “I’ll be fast this time.” 

“You better,” he said shortly, making you smirk. You faintly heard a knock on Levi’s office door. “Go get it and tell whoever it is that I’m not decent.” 

“Yes, Levi,” you said, exiting his bedroom and shutting the door behind you. You walked into the office and opened the door: it was Commander Erwin. 

“Hello, [First],” he greeted genially. 

“Hi, Commander,” you returned respectfully, pulling a quick salute. 

“I came to talk to Levi. Is he in his personal quarters?” he asked you, and you felt almost pressured to lie. After last night, you knew Erwin wouldn’t like the fact that you had been in Levi’s bedroom, but then again, it wasn’t like you could make up a feasible lie right now. 

“Yes, he’s in his room, but he’s not decent right now,” you answered. 

“Not decent?” Erwin repeated, raising one of his large eyebrows. 

“He hasn’t been feeling good since he woke up. He’s been in bed all day,” you filled him in. 

“So you let him lie in bed all day instead of going to Hange or one of our medical officers to get him looked at?” he asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice. 

“I suggested it to the Captain, but he kept insisting he was fine,” you lied. 

“I imagined you of all people could have convinced him to go get looked out. I’m surprised.” 

“You’re the only one he listens to, Commander,” you shrugged. He gently pushed you out of the way, making his way to Levi’s bedroom. You began to follow him, but he stopped you. 

“I need to talk to Levi alone, [First].” 

“Oh.” You hadn’t meant to let the word escape your lips, but it made it’s way out of your mouth without you even thinking. You quickly realized you had said it, and coughed. “Yes, sir. I’ll return later.” 

“Good girl,” he said, knocking on Levi’s door before entering. You left the two and stood in the hallway, unsure of what to do. _I could go visit my friends for a while, if they’re not busy._ You thought. _Or, I could be a good assistant and go get Levi something to make his hangover better._ You remembered how miserable he was when he had first woken up, complaining of a searing headache, and just how weak he had looked. _I’ll go get him a hangover cure._

_“Just don’t tell anyone that I was drunk.”_ His voice rang in your mind, followed by your promise to keep it under wraps. You did promise him you wouldn’t tell. _Are you really going to break that promise?_ you asked yourself. You shortly exhaled, crossing your arms in front of your chest, looking to the ground. _I’m going to have to pretend it’s for me._ You walked down the stairs, trying to remember how people with hangovers acted. You’d had one before, but that had been a while ago. But you remembered the headache, the nausea, the aversion to loud sounds, and how irritated you had been with everyone. _As long as I act like I have those symptoms, I should be convincing enough._

You made your way to Hange’s office, starting to play the role of the poor, hung over cadet. You dragged your feet into the office, looking to the ground solemnly. 

“Hange, it’s me.” You tried to make your voice sound as dead as possible. Hange sat behind her desk with Reiner beside her, and you could see that they were working on a drawing of something. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I need help.” 

“What’s wrong, [First]? You look awful.” Hange stood up, quickly going to you. 

“I-I drank a bit too much last night and I was wondering if you could help me get rid of my hangover,” you asked her. 

“How’d you get a hold of alcohol?” Hange asked. “And I thought you didn’t like getting blackout wasted.” _Damn it. I should have remembered I told her that._

“I was fed up with Levi after the whole thing in the mess hall and you know, drink to forget what makes you upset,” you told her. She sighed. 

“You poor thing, I didn’t realize that Levi must have mortified you in there. Come on,” she said, putting an arm around your shoulders and leading you back to her desk. She grabbed your waist and lifted you onto her desk like you were a child. She went over to one of her cabinets and began rifling through it while Reiner kept you company at her desk. 

“Sasha said you didn’t go to your room last night. Did you pass out in Captain Levi’s office?” he asked. 

“I assume I did since that’s where I woke up,” you told him bluntly. 

“Oh, so you’re sleeping with Levi now?” Hange teased you. 

“I’m not sleeping with him. I sleep on his couch in the office and he’s in his bedroom. There’s nothing kinky going on. And can you please lower your voice?” you asked her. She grinned. 

“Sorry!” she yelled, and you threw your hands to “protect” your ears. You watched as Hange started concocting something, pouring a dark liquid into a cup. “This hasn’t been proven, per se, but I’ve heard this helps so we’re going to try it.” 

“Okay, that works for me,” you said, a little disappointed. _I hope it will at least help Levi a little,_ you internally shrugged, watching Hange pour a bright, orange liquid into the cup, followed by a small amount of honey. She handed you the cup of the revolting-looking cure. “Thank you Hange.” 

“No problem, [First]. Go ahead and drink up.” she said, sitting back at her desk, watching you intently. 

“What?” you asked. _I’m not drinking this! This looks awful! And it’s for Levi, anyway!_

“There’s no point in suffering for another minute. I can’t _bear_ to think of you being in pain. Go ahead and ease your suffering.” she said, motioning to you with her fingers. You looked down at the cup, cringing at the disgusting brown –orange color it was. _The things I do for Levi._ You bravely took a small sip of the concoction. The harsh, bitter taste of the barely sweetened coffee and the strong, citrus taste of orange juice created a horrible medley in your mouth, and you spat it out, the cure running down your chin and onto your shirt. 

“That’s _disgusting!”_ you cried, putting the cup down. 

“Come on, [First]. Don’t you want to feel better?” Hange egged you on. “Be a good girl and drink up. You can’t afford to be hung over, anyway.” You glared at the drink, but proceeded to drink the whole thing. You knew you were going to be throwing up from this later, but it meant you could further convince Hange you were hung over and ask her to make you another “just in case one didn’t suffice.” Hange grinned ear to ear, rubbing your back as you tried to keep the drink down. “There’s the [First] I know and love. Tell you what? I’ll make you another. You’re supposed to have two a day, anyway.” You simply nodded. “You still don’t look that good. Are you going to throw up?” You shook your head. 

“No, I’m just still in shock of how _awful_ that tasted,” you said quietly as she stood up and prepared another cure. 

“You know, I thought you said you were never going to get drunk ever again, [First]. Next time, don’t party so hard, okay?” Reiner asked of you. 

“Don’t worry, if that’s the cure for a hangover, my drinking days are over,” you replied, making him chuckled. 

“Do you remember at our graduation ceremony how you, me, and a few other cadets managed to smuggle that liquor in and got wasted? And then you and -” 

“I remember Reiner, there’s no need to bring that back up,” you said hurriedly. Hange gave you her signature mischievous grin. 

“Reiner, there’s a reason to bring it back up. What happened?” she asked excitedly. 

“If you consider me your friend, please don’t,” you begged him. 

“Ooooh, was that when you two made out?” Hange realized. Reiner nodded as you groaned. You weren’t exactly _ashamed_ that it happened, but you knew Hange knowing was not a good thing. If anyone had the power to tease a people to death, it would be Hange. 

“How do you know about that?!” you demanded. 

“Although Reiner has many good qualities and makes a great assistant, I mainly chose him because of that.” Hange revealed. “I was looking around the cadets to see if you had an ex-boyfriend I could recruit, because I knew that would bother Levi the most. But they told me you haven’t had one before, and suggested I talk to the guys you’ve made out with before. And since Erwin already had Jean picked out for his assistant, and Marco Bott is no longer with us, it left Reiner as my only choice for an assistant.” She gave you another mischievous look. “I didn’t know you got loose when you get drunk.” 

“I didn’t either until the next morning and Bertolt was telling me about it while I was throwing up,” you commented, making Reiner laugh. 

“I had forgotten he was the one to make you remember what happened. God that was a fun night,” he said, and although you rolled your eyes, you slightly agreed with him. 

“Going back to assistants, did Commander Erwin keep Jean for today?” you asked Hange. 

“Yes. He came down here about an hour ago with some papers for me from Erwin,” she said. “He and I started this as a joke but then once we had our boys working, we realized it’s actually very convenient.” 

“You should’ve known that already from me, since I was practically your assistant until Levi took me in,” you told her. 

“I’d call you my protégée, not my assistant,” she admitted. You felt touched at Hange’s description of you and smiled. “I’ll let you go back to Levi’s office; I’ve kept you here too long. Tell Levi that I’m commanding him to go easy on you today.” 

“All right, I’ll let him know.” You hadn’t been there long, but you were hoping Erwin and Levi were done talking. “Thank you for the cure, by the way.” 

“No problem, [First]. I hope it helps _you.”_ She put a heavy emphasis on the last word, grinning maniacally. You got off her desk, grabbing the orange and coffee drink, and made your way back up the stairs. Levi’s office door was open, so you made to enter but you ran into Erwin leaving Levi’s office. You gave a little shriek, stepping back in shock and sloshing some of drink onto your shirt. 

“I’m sorry, cadet, I didn’t see you there,” he apologized. 

“No, I’m sorry, I should have been looking where I was going,” you said weakly, looking down at your ruined shirt. _When Levi’s feeling better I’ll ask him to teach me how to get coffee stains out,_ you made a mental note to yourself as Erwin walked past you and back to his office. You entered Levi’s and went into his bedroom. He was right where you had left him, lying in bed. He looked a lot more sour than he had before you left. 

“[First], what happened to your clothes? You look like shit,” he told you as you handed him the cup. He said nothing about it, only raising an eyebrow to question it. 

“I wanted to help you with your hangover, so I got a cure from Hange,” you explained. “I didn’t tell her you were hung over, though. I acted like I was and she made me drink and entire cup of that before making me another for later today.” 

“This looks like shit,” he commented. 

“It tastes like it too, but bottoms up. It might help you,” you said and he shrugged. 

“I have nothing to lose,” he said, drinking the concoction. He gagged at first, but he managed to get it all down. “That was the worst thing I have ever tasted,” he added as he placed the glass on his nightstand. 

“I know,” you reassured him. 

“[First], in my wardrobe there are some extra shirts of mine. Go put one on; I don’t imagine you’re comfortable with a wet shirt on.” 

“I can just run down to my room and change,” you told him. “I don’t want to trouble you with having to borrow a shirt, or anything.” 

“I don’t want you far away from me today. And I don’t mind you wearing one of my shirts. I can just wash it later.” _What?_

“Are you sure?” you asked again, just to be positive he was okay with it. He nodded. You went and grabbed one of his extra shirts before walking into his washroom. You were fast to shed your dirty blouse and put on a nice, clean shirt. You always thought that you and Levi were the same size, but wearing one of his shirts made you realize that he was a little bit bigger than you. The shirt wasn’t baggy, but it wasn’t form-fitting. It didn’t feel like a normal uniform shirt, but it felt comfy. Homey, almost. It smelled strongly like him, and you inhaled deeply. The smell of him gave you calm sense of mind, and made you feel safe. It was irrational, but that’s how you felt. You left the washroom, your old shirt neatly folded in the dirty clothes hamper, and returned to your spot on Levi’s bed. 

“Don’t get too comfortable. Erwin is making me go oversee some things and I need you to come with me and make notes,” he told you, pushing the sheets off his legs and getting out of bed. He was still in his uniform from the day before, but you knew he was going to change. 

“I’ll wait for you in your office. What do you need to me gather for today?” 

“A clipboard, something to write with, paper. If I need anything else, I’ll just have you run back up here and grab it,” he told you, pulling a clean uniform out of his wardrobe. 

“Okay, sir,” you said. 

*Two Hours Later* 

“[First]! Levi! Wait up! Reiner, run faster!” You and Levi were outside, about to go oversee the organization of a tool shed when you heard Hange yelling. You turned around and saw Reiner carrying her piggyback across the lawn. Levi muttered something darkly under his breath at the sight of the tall cadet carrying Hange. You, however, laughed. The two caught up quickly to you, Hange with a large smile on her face and Reiner panting. “Thank you Reiner, but be faster next time.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Guess what? We got assigned to oversee things with you guys!” Hange informed you two. “Isn’t that great?” 

“No,” Levi said bluntly. 

“That’s great, Hange!” you ignored him, smiling back at your mentor. Levi rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s just go get this over with,” he grumbled, proceeding without you three. You and Reiner, Hange still on his back, hurried to walk side by side with him. 

“[First], you look a little tired. Are you feeling any better after I gave you that hangover cure?” Hange asked. You shrugged. 

“Yeah, I feel fine,” you replied. 

“Hmm. I don’t want you to overexert yourself today,” Hange said. “Reiner, pick her up and carry her rest of the way.” 

“Got it, Squad Leader Zoë.” He gave you a mischievous grin that put Hange’s to shame. 

“Now, just wait a – hey!” you protested as his strong arms grabbed you and picked you up, carrying you bridal style while Hange supported her own weight on his back. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, [First],” she addressed you, but she was looking at a very irritated Levi. “I want you to get all better soon and what better way to save energy than having your ex-boyfriend carry you around?” 

“‘Ex-boyfriend?’” Levi repeated, turning to you so sharply you thought he could have given himself whiplash. He did _not_ sound happy. 

“He’s not my ex-boyfriend,” you corrected hastily to Levi’s slightly annoyed face. 

“How quick you are to deny our love,” Reiner snarked with a fake hurt expression on his face. 

“Yeah because it never happened,” you replied, carefully eyeing Levi’s reaction. His annoyance was quickly building into anger, you saw. _I’m going to kill Hange,_ you thought, fuming. 

“Speaking about devils, there’s another one of your ex’s!” Hange pointed toward Jean. 

“He’s not my ex either, Hange. Get your facts straight!” you told her, crossing your arms angrily in front of your chest. Although Levi looked only slightly irritated, the growing fire in his eyes indicated that he was beyond pissed. 

“What’s the matter, Levi? You look upset,” Hange teased him, but the approach of Jean and Erwin spared him from answering. 

“Reiner, it looks like you have your hands full. Let me help you out here,” Jean said, and before you could protest, he lifted you out of Reiner arms and got a hold of you. He carried you like a child, one arm around your waist and the other under your behind to support your weight. You fidgeted to escape him, but he was not letting you. Reluctantly, you wrapped your legs around his waist to take some of the pressure off of his arm. Erwin said nothing, pointedly ignoring the exchange going on while talking to Hange and Levi. 

“I hate you,” you mumbled under your breath to Jean, who only laughed. He moved his face close to your ear. 

“I’m sorry you don’t enjoy this as much as I do, [First],” he whispered quietly in your ear, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear. “But I’ve got orders to do this. Hange’s getting me out of stable duty for a month for this. You know I would normally stop once you let me know you weren’t comfy with it.” 

“I know,” you muttered back sourly. 

“But hey, look on the bright side. You can make Levi jealous, and don’t you want that?” he tried to cheer you up. 

“No!” you said in hushed but angry voice. “Jealousy never gets anybody anywhere!” 

“Speak for yourself. I know from experience that it works,” he said, leaning back away from your face. 

“Now can you put me down?” you asked, stopping talking in whispers. 

“Afraid that’s not happening, [First],” he replied with a toothy grin. You glanced back at Levi: he looked significantly paler as his blue eyes shot daggers at you two. You quickly looked away. You didn’t like seeing Levi when he was angry and you felt semi-guilty for allowing Jean to hold you. Jean seemed to notice your sudden drop in attitude, and let you down gently. 

The cadets responsible for organizing the shed arrived not too long after your group had and they automatically began to work. You stood sandwiched between Reiner and Jean with your superiors. You all watched the cadets pull old gardening instruments out of the shed and start to group them up. Erwin joined them, giving instructions. You felt hands snake across your back and landing on your hips. You pouted irritated before looking up at your two friends. 

“What are you doing?” you asked them, unamused. It’s not like you didn’t like their attention. In fact, you were usually something of a flirt and for the most part you liked getting attention from guys. But ever since last night, when you accepted you had fallen for Levi, you just felt embarrassed to be doted on by other guys. 

“Marking our territory,” Jean replied with yet another wide grin. 

“I’m not your territory. I’m not something to be conquered,” you told them, taking their hands off your body. You couldn’t see him behind Jean, but you knew Levi was watching. 

“You’re not. You’re a treasure to be won,” Reiner agreed before adding a twist to his statement. He put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. 

“Oi, Braun, leave some of her for the rest of us,” Jean complained, grabbing your waist and pulling you to him. Boldly, he put his hand under your chin and turned your face to look him in the eye before giving you a deep kiss. It didn’t last long; you felt a hand on your shoulder pushing you away from Jean. Levi looked beyond fed up, and you knew he had to be extremely irritated in order to intervene. 

“Kirstein, stop harassing [First] or I’ll give you a year of stable duty,” he growled, and you had never seen him look so enraged before. He looked like wrath itself. “Same goes for you, Braun,” he spat at the other cadet. 

“Lighten up, Levi, they were just goofing around,” Hange defended the boys with a small shrug. “It’s not a big deal.” 

“It’s a big deal since [First] didn’t want them flirting with her in the first place!” Levi defended his actions, striding up to Hange and giving her a deadly glare. “What kind of superior would I be if I didn’t look out for my cadet?” 

“A normal one,” Hange joked darkly. “And last time I checked she was my cadet as well. She doesn’t belong to you, Levi.” 

“Please, just stop it you two!” You got between Levi and Hange. “Hange, I think your plan of irritating Levi has gone too far. Levi, although I appreciate you protecting me but you don’t have to be so mad.” 

“What, so next time you get unwanted attention from guys you want me to let you fend for yourself?!” Levi snapped at you. “Do you think I’m going to stand by and allow them to harass you when I know you don’t want it? Can’t you see I have your best interests at heart and all I want to do is protect you?!” He was yelling at you by this point, and you started to shrink into Hange. In a loving, motherly manner, she put her hands on your shoulders. “If you don’t want any help in situations like this, fine! I’ll leave you to the dogs next time! And when you get hurt by screwing around with your ex-boyfriends, don’t come crying to me!” Enraged, he turned and started striding away from the group. You broke out of Hange’s grip and ran after him, tears stinging your eyes at his horrible words. 

“Levi, wait!” You grabbed his shoulder, but he slapped your arm to get you to release him. 

“Go back to your _boyfriends,”_ he spat venomously at you, continuing to stride back to the castle. 

“Levi, please, just listen to me for a moment -” 

“I’m done with listening to you. You’re a pathetic little princess and I’m done with you. I’m ashamed I ever cared about you.” You stopped following after him, letting him return to the castle by himself. Tears ran down your cheeks as you began to howl with anguish, dropping to your knees and sobbing into your hands. You had never felt so alone or so betrayed before in your life. His retreating figure got more blurred by the moment as your [e/c] eyes flooded with painful tears. 

_“LEVI!”_ you screamed for him, like a child crying out for a dead loved one. 

But like one of the dead, he did not come back to you.


	7. Lying in Old Fountains Has Never Been So Cool (Day 6)

You sat on Bertolt’s bed, the tall cadet comforting you with the help of Krista and Sasha. You sat on Sasha’s lap, her arms along with Krista’s and Bertolt’s wrapping you in a protective, loving embrace. Your sobs shook your weak and battered body, and every time you shook you winced because of the pain. Physical _and_ emotional. You had tried several times to go to Levi’s office to talk to him, but he refused to let you in and screamed profanities at you every time you begged him to let you in. You eventually gave up and went back to your dorm room, crying yourself to sleep.

“Is she _still_ in here crying?” You heard Ymir’s voice from the doorway. 

“Ymir, have some respect! [First] is seriously hurt!” Krista chided her and you heard Ymir snort. 

“All wounds heal. And it’s not my fault that asshat got mad at her for the stupid things she did while drunk when we were just graduated,” she said, and you sobbed even harder. 

“Watch it, Ymir. I _will_ kick you out,” Bertolt threatened her. 

“No need, I just came here to tell you that Reiner’s wondering when he can come back into his dorm room. He’s been camped out in mine and Krista’s room for the past hour and I’m getting bored of him,” Ymir told him. 

“He can’t come in until [First] is better,” Bertolt replied sternly, and you were thankful for him helping you out and protecting you against Ymir and Reiner. 

“All right, I’ll let him know. And [First]?” she waited for you to say something, but you kept sobbing. “I’ll kick that short bastard in the balls for you.” 

_“YMIR!”_ Krista shrieked. 

“What? He deserves it. I haven’t seen [First] in this much of a mess since that one visiting politician told her she looked like some bratty Wall Sina runaway.” You howled even louder, doubling over and sobbing into your lap. 

“Leave. _Now,”_ Bertolt told her firmly and you heard the dark-haired girl’s footsteps, slowly fading until you couldn’t hear them anymore. 

“It’s going to be okay, [First]. Don’t listen to Ymir,” Sasha said quietly into your ear. “Everything’s going to be okay. This whole thing is going to be cleared up, and then everything can go back to normal.” 

“I don’t want to go back to normal!” you cried. “I want to go back to being with Levi everyday! I just want him to care about me again, I want him to tease me again, I just . . . I just . . .” _I just want him to love me._ Once again, the sound of footsteps on the stone floor reached your ears, and you heard Krista gasp, followed by her arms quickly leaving your body. 

“Commander Erwin!” she greeted the man, saluting. Bertolt quickly joined her, giving you an apologetic look before saluting, and Sasha helped you up and you both saluted at him. You tried to get a handle over your tears, begging your body to stop. You didn’t mind crying in front of your friends, but you hated crying in front of your superiors. 

“At ease. I’m glad to see [First] is being well cared for,” he said as you all relaxed. You wiped the tears from your face with the edge of your blouse. “[First], I know you’re very upset right now, but it’s very important that I talk to right now.” 

“Y-yes, sir,” you sniffled. You stepped forward, but Sasha threw an arm across your chest to stop you. 

“Will Jean, Reiner, Hange, or Captain be present for this talk?” she demanded. 

“No. It will just be [First] and I. You are all more than welcome to wait for her outside my office, if you wish,” he offered them. Sasha nodded, putting an arm over your shoulders. 

“I would like to do that, sir,” she said, turning to Krista and Bertolt. “You guys go get some lunch, I’ll stay with [First].” Another sob escaped your throat, but it wasn’t out of despair; you were touched Sasha was willing to skip a meal in order to accompany you somewhere. Bertolt shook his head. 

“Krista can go, but I’m staying with [First],” he decided. 

“And I’d rather stay with [First] than eat!” Krista chirped, and you smiled at your friends. It was the first smile you had made in a day. 

“I love you guys,” you said, fighting back tears of gratitude. Erwin beckoned you all to follow him, and you all walked to his office. Your three guardians sat in the hallway outside of Erwin’s office as he and you entered his office. He motioned for you to sit down while he shut and locked the door. You took a seat, and he took his spot behind the desk. 

“Foremost, I want to apologize to you. I feel partly responsible for what happened yesterday. I shouldn’t have allowed Jean to flirt with you in order to annoy Levi. It was childish, and it lead to your state at the moment.” 

“Don’t feel sorry. It’s not your fault,” you falsely reassured him. You blamed him just as much as you blamed everyone else involved in the fiasco: including yourself. 

“Then I apologize for the questions I’m about to ask. You must understand, I’m in charge of everyone here. I need to make sure everything is per protocol. I have nothing against you, [First]. On the contrary, I like you a lot. You’re a good soldier with an intelligent head on her shoulders. I enjoy having you in the Survey Corps.” 

“Thank you, sir,” you said, tears threatening to attack your [e/c] eyes. You knew full well what kind of questions he was going to ask. 

“[First], what’s going on with you and Captain Levi?” he asked, confirming your fears. 

“He’s my superior and I was his assistant,” you replied quietly. 

“Don’t lie to me,” he said gently, but his voice had an accusatory note in it. 

“I'm not lying. I mean, I guess we were sorta friends before yesterday, but there was nothing romantic going on between us. We stayed in our respectful positions throughout my time as his assistant,” you answered. It was mostly true. It wasn’t like you acted on your crush on Levi. Erwin stayed silent for a moment, simply gazing into your red eyes. 

“I want you to know that the evidence is against what you’re saying,” he told you. “Levi’s behavior towards you the day before yesterday, along with both of your attitudes toward each other yesterday, seems to point that you’re not telling the complete truth.” Your bottom lip trembled as your emotions wrestled themselves. You wanted to keep your promise to Levi, that you wouldn’t tell anyone he was drunk, but you had broken it once. It looked like in order to clear your own name you had to take him down. 

“The day before yesterday . . .” you began, taking a deep breath. “Levi and I got drunk. Right after you and Hange told us you took in Jean and Reiner as assistants. Levi had more than I had, though, and so he was inebriated than I. He was drunk when we had dinner with you and Hange, that’s why he was touchy with me. He wouldn’t have had his arms around me if he was sober. I admit he acted inappropriately, but that’s the only time he’s acted like that towards me, and he didn’t act like that for the rest of the night.” You made the choice to throw yourself under the wagon with Levi. You couldn’t just rat out Levi without doing the same to yourself. You just couldn’t do it. Erwin kept his eyes locked on you, as if he was trying to stare into your soul. You looked back at him, your gaze unfaltering. He stood up slowly, walking over to you. He crouched down beside your chair, as a father would with his daughter. 

“[First], I know you’ve spent the night in Levi’s office on numerous occasions. If he’s pressuring you into anything, it’s okay to tell me. I’ll make sure you’re safe. I don’t want any of my soldiers being coerced into anything they don’t want to do,” he told you softly. 

"We haven't done anything!” you protested. “Every time I’ve slept in his office I’ve always slept on his couch, and he’s always been in his bedroom. And the only reason I slept there the first time was because I fell asleep on the couch and Levi said he couldn’t manage to move me so he let me lie there. And the second time was because I didn’t feel like I could leave him alone because he passed out drunk.” 

“Then why are you bruised everywhere? Why did his being upset with you throw you into such a stupor?” he demanded, his voice slightly raised.

“Because I’m clumsy, sir. Just ask anyone, and they can tell you that when it comes to normal life, I have the coordination of a drugged duck,” you told him, before you decided to lie. There was no way in hell you were telling him you were in love with Levi. “And I’ve been emotionally distraught for the past few days, sir. My little sister’s birthday was four days ago, and I haven’t seen her since the week before I enlisted in the military.” You sighed. You didn’t have to pretend you missed her. “I feel like I left her behind in a horrible situation while I saved my own skin, and I’ve been feeling overwhelmingly upset about the whole thing. Levi’s yelling just knocked the bottle over.” To your relief, it looked like Erwin believed you. As well as he should have. You really did miss your sister in the few moments you allowed yourself to think about your family. 

“Where’s your sister? The next day off you have I can arrange for you to go -” 

“No. Our parents have forbidden her to have contact with me. They were not supportive of me joining the military and told her she can’t talk to me, otherwise they’re going to throw her out,” you lied. Erwin nodded. 

“Okay. [First], I do feel bad for you. I haven’t seen you ever look this distraught before, but I do have to punish you for drinking while on duty.” 

“I understand sir,” you said numbly. 

“You will have stable duties for three months.” 

“Yes, sir,” you nodded. He stood up straight, returning to his chair. 

“You’re free to go. Go get some rest. You look like you haven’t slept all night,” he commanded. _I didn’t,_ you confirmed in your head. 

“Thank you, sir,” you saluted before exiting the office. Krista, Bertolt, and Sasha all jumped to their feet, swarming to you. 

“How did it go?” Sasha asked as the four of you made your way away from Erwin’s office. 

“He was just asking me about if I was having a relationship with Levi,” you summarized for them. 

“And?” Krista asked anxiously.

“I told him the truth. I’m not. I did tell him about drinking yesterday, and I got three months of stable duty for it,” you filled them in. Bertolt sighed. 

“I’m glad you didn’t get a worse punishment and that he didn’t make you more upset,” he said, putting a hand on your shoulder. You smiled, rubbing your cheek on the back of his hand as Krista hugged you and Sasha gripped your hands. 

“Thanks, you guys. I would be completely lost without you.” 

*After Dinner* 

You had eaten your dinner quickly and decided to walk around outside while there was still a little bit of light outside. There was an old fountain you loved in one of the courtyards. It was no longer filled with water, but you loved it all the same. And right now, you felt like you identified with it. It was missing a crucial part of its being, and so were you. You sat in the fountain’s basin, leaning against the outer edge and staring up at the sky. It was starting to get dark. 

_What am I going to do tomorrow,_ you wondered. _Will I just join my friends in chores? Just wake up and pretend like this never happened? No, I can’t pretend this didn’t happen. This is going to be a part of me for a long time._ You sighed. The sky had beautiful deep blue waves crashing against coral shores. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. 

_“‘Levi, come look at the sunset!’ you had begged him a few days ago. It was the day when you went to the market place. You’d been standing behind Levi, part of your body hanging out of the open window._

_‘Why?’ he had asked uninterestedly._

_‘It’s pretty. Just come look at it, damn it.’ He had sighed, pretending you were irritating him._

_‘Fine. I’ll come look at the sunset,’ he had obliged you, standing up and joining you at the window. You looked over to him slyly, expecting him to look in awe of the sunset. But he looked just as bored as ever._

_‘It’s nice, I guess,’ he shrugged, turning to get back to work. He glanced at you, and then gently grabbed your shoulders and pulled you back. ‘I don’t want you falling out,’ he explained softly before returning to work._

_‘Are you just bored with everything?’ you had asked him. ‘It’s gorgeous out there and you’re acting like it’s nothing.’_

_‘I prefer to find beauty in people and moments, [First],’ he answered, making you laugh. ‘What? Why do you find that funny?’_

_‘You’re not a people person, Levi,’ you had giggled._

_‘You’d be surprised,’ he smirked, fiddling with something in one of his desk drawers. ‘I think it’s nice outside, but those sorts of things occur all the time. Why not put more stock into people and moments?’_

_‘Because people can be cruel and moments based on nothing on lies. Or bribes that bite you in the ass,’ you gave him a withering look._

_‘Here I am trying to engage you in a thought-provoking conversation and you’re still bitching that I had you in a leash.’ His fingers stopped playing whatever he had in his desk._

_‘Of course I am. That was humiliating,’ you said. ‘I’m just not a people or moments person. Everything and everyone can turn so sour so quickly, what’s the point?’ He remained silent for a moment, and you heard the drawer close._

_‘Because you should learn to appreciate what’s going on right now and not worry about what will happen,’ he told you, his voice barely a whisper. ‘My years in the Survey Corps have taught me that, my stubborn-ass princess.’”_

_What wouldn’t I give to be back there now,_ you groaned, eyes pleading with the dimming coral and navy sky. You didn't want to stop being Levi's assistant. You'd come to love spending every day and all of your time with him. Despite your better judgment, you'd fallen hard for him and going back to a life where you didn't see a lot of him seemed like a punishment worse than anything Erwin or Levi could think up. You were thankful your [e/c] remained dry; you felt like crying, but your body had already gotten rid of all the tears it could ever produce. Hearing footsteps on the cobblestones, you slid further into the basin, lying flat on the cold stone to hide yourself from whoever was roaming the grounds. 

"Tch. And I thought those brats were joking about her tendency to lay in a fountain," you heard Levi mutter under his breath. You held your breath as your stomach started twisting itself into knots. _He came to look for me?_ "[First]? Can I join you?" he asked you, his voice gentle. "I understand if you don't want to see or hear me right now, but I would like to talk to you. Whatever you decide, I'll respect it." 

"You may join me," you allowed him quietly. He sat on the edge of the fountain, swinging his legs over into the basin. He got into the fountain, laying down next to you and putting his arms behind his head. 

"[First], I'm truly sorry for yelling excessively at you yesterday and I’m sorry for brushing you off when you kept coming to me office to talk," he apologized, staring up at the darkening sky. "I said things that were malicious in order to spite you and that was a shitty thing for me to do. I may have been upset with you but you did nothing to deserve that. I'd understand if you don't forgive me, but I just want to remind you that while my outburst was out of line, I just wanted to protect you and I was frustrated with you about the whole ordeal." 

"I know," you replied, feeling a lump grow in your throat. 

"What I said to you was unforgivable. I only said them because I was upset with you and . . ." He sighed, his head turning to look at you. "If I could, I'd take back the entire fight, but I can't. [First], I want you to know I deeply care about you and I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for making you upset and letting my emotions get in the way of how I've treated you." 

"You treated me well up until yesterday," you pointed out quietly. 

"I've treated you inappropriately. Where I should have treated you as any other cadet, I acted as if we were friends. Not that I regret it," he smirked, looking back at the now dark sky. "But I should've treated you with a lot more respect and less geniality, and not let my emotions get in the way. If I had acted professionally we wouldn't be in this mess." 

"Your emotions, sir?” you asked, your stomach getting even queasier and your heart beginning to flutter. He didn’t respond, and you could see he was choosing his words carefully. 

“I have a bias when it comes to the other cadets and you. I favor you far more than I do any of them. You’re a great soldier and you’re an even greater person, and I would move heaven and earth just to keep you safe,” he said, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear him. Your spirits fell a little; you imagined if he had romantic feelings for you, he would’ve have admitted now. But you were still touched by his sweet words. 

“Thank you, Levi. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” you replied, smiling at him. “And for the record, I think you’re pretty wonderful too.” 

“That means you obviously don’t know me that well,” he said, and you laughed before getting back to the serious matter at hand. 

“I don't mind that your friendliness got us into an emotional mess," you told him. "We're friends, right?" 

"I like to think we are." 

"I mean, yes, I'm hurt you yelled at me for getting flirted at, but I recognize you were mainly upset with Jean and Reiner and you just wanted to protect one of your cadets. And I forgive you for the most part, but remember it's still going to take me a while to completely get over this." _If ever._

He nodded. "I completely understand." 

"So, am I . . . Am I still your assistant?" you asked him sheepishly. 

"You tell me." 

"What?" You turned your head to look at him. You watched him intently, noticing his grey eyes looking almost lifeless. 

“Erwin thinks you shouldn’t keep this going. Being my assistant. He hasn’t forced me to give you up, but he made me realize I haven’t treated you that well. I’ve overstepped my bounds with you multiple times, not to mention I’ve let my emotions make irrational decision when it comes to you.” 

“Levi?” you asked, almost fearfully. _What’s he talking about? He’s been wonderful to me until lately. He’s been good to me, I’ve told him that,_ you thought. 

“[First], I’m giving you the choice. I promise I won’t treat you differently based on what you decide to do,” he told you, looking into your [e/c] eyes. You could tell he was fighting hard to keep a poker face on. “You have two options. Option one: you stay my assistant and complete your original punishment. Option two: you end your time as my assistant and return to normal cadet life. I won't judge or blame you for whatever decision you make. I'll respect you and your choice.” You stared at him, your mouth wide open in shock. This question almost made you tear up. _Why is he asking me this?_ You missed your friends, you didn’t deny that. But you had come to care deeply for Levi, even if he had blown up at you and made you cry, and you treasured every moment spent with him. But then again, with Levi’s busy schedule, how would you see him if you returned back to regular life? And to be honest with yourself, you just didn’t want to leave him. 

"Levi," you sighed. Your pinky hooked onto his, and his cool hand grasped yours. "I'm staying. I'll be your assistant until my two weeks are up." 

You had seen him smile before, but they were nothing compared with the one he wore when he heard your decision.


	8. “Why Are You Barely Dressed Here Instead of Barely Dressed by the River?” (Day 7)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a reference point, since the chapters get messed on here, this chapter is Day 7. So a week has passed.  
> Also, this is a fluff/breather episode before the next arc.

"It's so fucking hot! Isn't there anything we can do to make it cooler?"

"You could fan yourself." You were sprawled out on your side of Levi's desk. You had been lying on the floor to try and cool down, but Levi had told you that you weren't allowed to lie on the ground, so you lay on his desk in an attempt to annoy him. So far he acted like everything was normal, piling his papers on your stomach as if you were his desk top. 

It usually wasn't this hot this time of year, but today's heat was getting unbearable inside the stuffy castle. Levi had all his windows open in order to keep the air circulating, but because there was no breeze, it was all in vain. The castle and its inhabitants simply kept getting hotter and hotter. 

"I meant something that could give me relief longer than five seconds," you clarified for him. 

"Fan yourself longer than five seconds, then," he said, making you groan. He chuckled. "It's the other cadets' day off. If you want to go with them to the river to swim, you have permission. I'm sure Erwin would allow it as long as you had someone of authority go to make sure you don't all drown." 

"Will you come with and make sure we don't drown?" you asked, carefully moving his papers off of your stomach before getting up and off of Levi's desk. 

"I can't. I have paperwork to do since I didn't finish it yesterday. Hange would be more than willing to play chaperone, anyway. Ask her." 

"And you're sure you'll be fine without me?" 

"I think I can manage." You grinned and hugged him. 

"Thank you, Levi!" you said before leaving his office, determined to find your friends. 

*Forty Minutes Later* 

"I'm sorry, [First], I can't go with you guys. Erwin's really cracking down on me to finish the latest report on Eren's abilities." You and your friends stood cramped in Hange's office, disappointed at her words. "If I could do this outside my office, believe me, I would go with you guys in a heartbeat. Why don't you ask Levi? As far as I know, his paperwork can be done anywhere." 

"He told me no earlier," you told her. 

"And Mike said he wasn't fond of rivers so he wouldn't come with us," Eren added. 

"Did Erwin say you needed a superior with you? Because if he didn't specify, I give you guys permission to go on your own." 

"No, he said we needed at least a Team Leader with us, but none of them are willing to go with us," Krista informed her. 

"Well, then either go take cold showers together or go collectively beg Levi. I'm afraid I can't be of assistance." 

"Thanks anyway, Squad Leader," Armin said, and with a disheartened attitude, you all left her office and congregated in the hallway. 

"Now what?" Ymir asked. 

"I can go ask Levi again but he'll probably say no," you offered pessimistically. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Armin said. “Go ask.” 

“Blow him if you have to,” Ymir said with a deadpan tone of voice. Krista shrieked and started chastising her while you ignored the freckled girl and made your way back up the stairs, everyone else in tow. You walked back into Levi’s office, shutting the door behind you and keeping out your comrades. 

“[First], where are your clothes?” Levi asked, staring at you with shock in his blue eyes. You didn’t own a bathing suit; none of you did. You simply had on one of your sports bras and a pair of shorts belonging to Armin. 

“On my body,” you said as he quickly got up, shedding his jacket and putting it around your shoulders. 

“Cover yourself up. It’s not decent,” he told you as you slid the jacket on. 

“Everyone else is like this too,” you informed him. 

“If everyone decided to jump off Wall Rose, would you follow them?” he asked. 

“If I had a parachute or my gear, yes,” you retorted, making him smirk. 

“So why you are barely dressed here instead of barely dressed by the river?” he questioned. You looked at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up. “I know that look. Don’t think it’s going to persuade me. I’m not going with you brats to the river. I have paperwork.” 

“Can’t you do it there?” you begged. “Please, Levi? We all really want to go but no one can go with us. Hange is being forced to stay here and no one else will come with us. Please?” 

“No. What if my work gets wet?” 

“It won’t, I promise! Please please _please_ just come with us!” you pleaded, pouting. He sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“If I go to the river with you, what will I get in return?” he asked defeated. 

“I don’t know, what you want?” You were so desperate to seal the deal you would do anything to get him to come with you and your friends. 

“Hm. What could I possibly want from a little princess like you?” he asked in a sing-song voice, and you felt as if butterflies were in your stomach. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a new big shot in the Survey Corps. The piece of shit bought his way in and with the favor of the king. Since he’s going to be working closely with Erwin and because he has more money than intelligence, there’s going to be a party celebrating the idiot. Erwin, Hange, and I have to go meet him, and I want you to come with us. I need someone to accompany me, and I know you once lived in Wall Sina. Don’t lie to me, I know you lied on your military application,” he added hastily as you opened your mouth to protest. “You being from Shiganshina, my ass. Look. I don’t know this man. Neither does Erwin or Hange. We’re hoping you know this guy and can give us some insight.” 

“I promised to never step foot back inside Wall Sina ever again,” you told him harshly. There was no way you were ever going to go back. 

“I’m sorry, [First], but it’s imperative you go,” he said, brushing some of your [h/c] hair out of your face. It was your turn to sigh. 

“You’re going to make me go to this party anyway, aren’t you?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, refusing to make eye contact with Levi. 

“Do this for me and I’ll do this for you.” The door opened, Armin peeking his head. You could see the concerned faces of your comrades from the crack in the doorway. Knowing you were going to the party either way, you figured you should take up the fake offer Levi gave you. 

“[First]?” Armin asked curiously. You glanced back at Levi begrudgingly, and then looked to the ground. 

“Captain Levi has agreed to come with us,” you said coldly. You could hear Sasha’s and Krista’s excited squeals, and a “hell yeah!” from Jean. 

“I need to gather my things; I’ll meet you done in the mess hall,” Levi announced, and as the cadets hurried down to the mess hall, he put a hand on your shoulder. 

“[First], go join your friends. I’ll be down in a second,” he told you. 

“Thanks for doing this, even though you gave me a false choice,” you passive-aggressively told him. His thumb rubbed the exposed skin on your shoulder. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy. 

“I’m doing this because I _can’t_ give you a proper choice on the party matter. You know if I had my way you wouldn’t have to go,” he sighed. “Just try to be happy today, okay? I’m doing this so you don’t have to be entirely miserable.” 

“I know,” you shortly exhaled. 

*At the River* 

“Eren, put me down THIS INSTANT I’M NOT READY TO GO IN THE WATER EREN SO HELP ME GOD!” Your friend was holding you above his head, walking towards the cool water of the river. 

“‘Put you down?’ Okay,” he said sardonically, dipping his arms and throwing you up and through the air over the glassy water. You shrieked, bracing yourself for the impact. Cold water slammed into your skin, sending a shock through your body. You clawed your way to the surface, gasping for air. You pushed your [h/c] hair out of your eyes as Eren laughed at you, swimming over to your side. “I only did what you asked, [First],” he laughed as you splashed him. 

“Never thought Eren would be the one to get you wet, [First],” Reiner snickered. 

“I will skin you alive, Reiner!” you growled at him, turning red while your eyes shot daggers at him. You hadn’t forgiven him or Jean yet. He called back to you, but you ignored his retort and swam over to Sasha and Connie, who were both arguing. 

“No, but I’m just saying, it could be fun!” Sasha was saying. 

“You do realize that none of us are tall enough for our feet to touch the bottom of the river? It’s too deep. Even Bertolt’s feet don’t touch the ground,” Connie replied. 

“What’s going on?” you asked. 

“Sasha had this stupid idea for a game, but I’m telling her it’s not going to work because it needs us to be on solid ground.” 

“It does not! And that’s what makes it so fun, that it’s a challenge for everyone,” Sasha said excitedly. 

“Why, what’s the game?” you asked your friend. 

“So, there are two people racing,” Sasha delved into her description of the game. “They start out standing on the hands of someone, and the objective of the game is to toss the racer along to the next person as quickly as possible, and whoever gets the finish line wins!” 

“Sasha, that sounds reckless, dangerous, and terrifying,” you told her. “I’m in.” Connie groaned as Sasha squealed before she hugged you. 

“I knew you’d love it, [First]!” she said. “Hey, everyone!” she yelled. “I’ve got a game we can play.” Everyone swam to you three and Sasha proposed her game. Much to Connie’s chagrin, everyone agreed to play. 

“All right, who’s okay with getting tossed around?” Armin asked. 

“I’m the smallest here as well, I’ll volunteer too,” Krista said cheerfully. Ymir didn’t look pleased.

“If Krista’s getting thrown around, I demand to be on her team. I don’t trust any of you dipshits,” she said protectively. 

“I’m fine with that,” Sasha said. “Who wants to be on [First]’s team?” 

“I do,” Bertolt said, joining you. 

“And I’ll even the playing field by joining Ymir and Krista,” Reiner said, swimming to the other side. Teams were chosen one person at a time, and by the end of the selection, your team consisted of Bertolt, Eren, Jean, and Mikasa while Christa was paired with Reiner, Connie, Ymir, and Sasha. Armin was the odd one out. 

“That’s okay. I can symbolize the finish line,” he offered good-naturedly. 

“Unless Captain Levi wants to join us,” you called to him. You could hear him reply with a “tch” before returning his attention to his work. 

“Let’s get in starting positions!” Sasha announced cheerfully as everyone got in line. Bertolt looked down at you nervously. 

“Are you ready, [First]?” he asked you, and you nodded. You grabbed his arm to stabilize your body before placing the arch of your foot in his hand while he placed his free hand under your armpit. “I’m going to push up on your arm, and I want you to stand up on the foot I’m holding, okay? I’m going to grab your other foot quickly so don’t be scared.” 

“Okay,” you nodded. Aside from Levi picking you up off his bookcase and being used as weights for Reiner once during your trainee days, you didn’t have any experience with being lifted by people. You exhaled slowly and deeply as you felt Bertolt’s arm slightly dip before pushing you up. You tried to stand up, but your wet foot slipped out of his hand and you fell into the water. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve caught you. It just happened so fast, I’m so sorry [First],” Bertolt apologized as you spat water out of your mouth. 

“It’s fine, let’s just try it again.” You looked over to Krista, who was sitting on Reiner’s shoulders. “Bertl, let’s try it from me sitting on your shoulders and then just standing on your hands,” you suggested. 

“Whatever is most comfortable for you,” he obliged you. He put his hands on your waist while you put your hands on his wrists. He easily lifted you up onto his shoulders as if you weighed as much as a feather. 

“Are you two slowpokes ready now?” Reiner teased you both, letting Krista stand on his hands. 

“Better slow than fast like you, Reiner,” you taunted him, and you could see Ymir had heard you and was fighting back laughter. 

“Wait, _what?”_ he asked, trying to understand the joke as you stood up on Bertolt’s hands. The feeling was terrifying but exhilarating. You locked your knees and clenched your muscles tightly, trying to keep your body from falling over. Bertolt’s long fingers hooked themselves over the tops of your feet. You knew he was strong and he had you secure, but you still felt uneasy knowing all he had a measly grip on was the tops of your feet. You glanced over to Levi, who had put his paperwork aside in order to watch you and Krista race. Your stomach felt queasy. _Great. I have pressure to win._

“Are our racers ready?” Armin asked from the end of the lines. 

“I’m ready if [First] is!” Krista shouted. 

“Okay, on ‘go,’ Bertolt and Reiner, you’ll toss [First] and Christa to the next person,” he told them, and although you dared not look down, you could tell Bertl was nodding. “Okay then. One,” – you fixed your eyes on Eren. He gave you a slight nod, his hands up and ready to catch your feet – “two,” – you took a deep breath. _I will win_ – “three,” – you held your breath, tensing your body – “GO!”

Faster than you thought he would, Bertolt dipped his arms and tossed you to Eren. You made your body as small as possible to reduce any air resistance, letting go of your breath in a short gasp. This was nothing like flying through in air in your gear. No, you were terrified by the aspect you couldn’t save yourself and had to rely entirely on your friends to catch you. You almost went over Eren’s head, but luckily he was able to move back enough, getting a hold of the balls of your feet. You switched all your weight to that part of your foot and Eren was pushed down into the cold water because of the impact. He was able to still toss you up, but you could feel he hadn’t been able to give you a good toss. 

Jean quickly swam closer, determined to catch you. Your feet made contact with his hands as he struggled to keep his chest above the water line. You shot a quick glance to Krista: she was being tossed to the last person of her line. Jean saw it too, and with all his strength, hurled you to Mikasa. You knew as you neared Mikasa that he had thrown you too hard and you were going to either hit Mikasa or just barely sail over her. 

“Incoming!” you yelled to warn her, but before she could react, your legs slammed into her waiting hands, tipping her back as you continued sailing forward, belly flopping into the unforgiving water. 

“Sorry, Mikasa, [First]!” Jean apologized as you tried to catch your breath: the belly flop had taken your breath away. 

“Are you all right, [First]?” Mikasa asked. 

“Just a bit winded. What about you?” you replied. 

“I’m fine,” she told you tersely as Levi walked to the edge of the river. 

“Tch. You brats are going to get yourselves killed doing that.” he said, looking aloof and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“We’re fine, Captain,” you told him. 

“Yeah, I’m prepared now for the next round,” Eren added to try and make the situation lighter. But it was in vain, as Levi still looked like his normal, irritated self. You swam over to the edge, using your arms to lift yourself out of the water so you could stand and talk to Levi. 

“Really, we’re fine. I’m fine,” you reassured him. 

“I don’t like that you’re being tossed into the air like a rag doll. And by people that don’t know what they’re doing,” he said quietly, making sure your friends couldn’t hear him. “Not to mention you looked terrified the entire time.” 

“Well, I was, but it was fun too,” you said. “Come on, just let us play it a little longer!” 

“It’s a dangerous game, princess,” he told you. 

“We kill human-eating monsters that are ten meters tall for a living and you call _this_ dangerous?!” you pointed out. “Come on, let us keep playing, please?” you pouted at him. 

“I told you, that pout’s not going to work on me,” he reminded you. 

“Are you more concerned with general safety, or my personal safety?” you asked him. 

“What do you think?” he replied harshly, and you knew what you could do in order to keep playing. 

“How about you play with us? Armin can join Krista’s team and you can be on mine,” you proposed. “That way you can feel like you’re overseeing my safety.” 

“What makes you think that’s going to convince me to keep playing your game?” 

“Because I’d be heartbroken if we had to stop, and I thought you said you wanted me to be happy today. Playing this game and playing it with you would make me so happy,” you told him, the sweetest smile you can muster up gracing your face. 

“Are you trying to emotionally extort me into letting you play this ridiculous game while dragging me into it?” he asked you. You shrugged, still smiling. He chuckled, tucking you under the chin. “I’m proud of you being manipulative. Fine. You can keep playing, and I’ll join.” You squealed, savoring your victory. 

“We can keep playing!” you yelled to your friends, who had been watching the conversation intently. They cheered, and you sat on the edge of the river before pushing yourself off the tiny ledge and entering the water. “Armin, go join the end of Krista’s line, Captain’s agreed to play with us.” you said, before sneaking a quick peek behind you at the stripping Levi. 

“What did you tell him to get him to play with us?” Eren asked, surprised. 

“I just gave him a heartfelt speech about how much we all wanted to play,” you said, glancing behind you again. You had never seen Levi shirtless before, and you prayed to God it wouldn’t be the last time. You bit your lip as he dove into the water swimming over to you guys. _Those abs,_ you internally swooned. 

“All right, brats. You get one more round, and then we’re done for the day,” he said, but you knew no one was taking him seriously. Not when he was in a river agreeing to play with you guys. You all swam back into your positions, getting ready for a round two with Armin and Levi now in the game. You got back onto Bertolt’s hands, determined this time to beat Krista. 

“Armin! Count us off again!” Sasha yelled to him. 

“All right! One,” – you stared straight ahead, but this time you had your eyes set on the finish line: Levi. He looked determined, almost as determined at he looked in the battlefield. He noticed you staring and nodded to you. You nodded back – “two . . . three . . . GO!” You were prepared this time when Bertolt’s threw you to Eren. This time, he didn’t sink as much, and gave you a better toss to Jean. You heard Krista shriek, but you didn’t turn to look, you were focused on getting to Levi. There was no splash to be heard, so you assumed Krista was still in the air. Jean tossed you to Mikasa, lighter this time, and you soared into Mikasa’s capable hands perfectly. She grabbed your feet, bouncing a little before throwing you to Levi. 

You braced yourself, unsure of whether or not he was going to catch you and keep you from falling forward and out of his hands. You descended upon him, keeping your knees locked and your body tight. He grasped the arches of your feet, and although the impact made him scoot back and sink a little bit, he was able to keep you up in the air. 

“[First]’s team wins this round!” Armin called, and you turned to see Krista was still in Ymir’s hands. You let out a victory yell, as did you team mates. You looked down at Levi, smiling. He grinned at you. Without warning, he tossed you straight up into the air, moving back a few inches as you flailed and landed in the cold water. 

“Thanks for telling me you were gonna do that,” you told him sarcastically. 

“You’re welcome,” he retorted, before turning to the other cadets. “I know I said only another round, but I think it would be unfair to not offer Lenz’s team the chance to redeem themselves. How about best three out of five?” he asked everyone, and getting a strong approval. 

*Night Time* 

“Thank you for letting me use your bathtub, Levi,” you thanked him, rubbing your towel on your head to dry your hair. 

“It’s nothing. I figured your bathroom would be too busy right, and after that tumble in the mud you took on the way back, I figured you needed a bath more than anyone else,” he replied. He was sitting on his bed, finishing up the last of the paperwork he had put off in order to spend time with you in the river. You had spent all day away from the castle with your friends and Levi, and you were flat-out tired. “Come here. I’ll comb your hair for you. You look like you’re ready to drop dead at any moment.” 

“You really do pamper me too much,” you pretended to chide him, sitting in front of him. He took a brush off of his nightstand and tackled your hair. 

“I’m simply giving you treatment you deserve,” he said, pulling the brush gently through your hair, from the tips up to the roots. “Besides, think of this as a ‘thank you.’” 

“Thanks for what?” you questioned him. 

“For making me have fun today,” he answered, stroking your [h/c] with his free hand. “I admit I enjoy spending time with you, but today was exceptionally fun.” 

“Because I was wet and half dressed,” you teased him playfully. 

“I didn’t notice,” he replied sardonically. “No, but thank you for making me join you and your friends. It really was fun. Tired, are we?” he asked as you yawned. 

“Yeah. And you combing my hair is just making me more tired.” Your eyelids seemed to be getting heavier with every moment. You had no idea what time it was, but you imagined it was around midnight. You had all returned to the castle fairly late, after spending a good half the day at the river. All of the playing around, lying in the sun, and hanging out with friends had drained your energy. You tried to stifle another yawn, but it didn’t work. 

“You should go to bed after this,” he told you. “You have to work tomorrow, after all.” You slightly nodded, your eyelids half-over your [e/c] eyes. 

“What do we have tomorrow?” you asked. 

“Well, we have to start pulling things together for that ridiculous party, and I still have some papers to finish. Not too many, but . . .” You closed your eyes, relishing the feeling of his brush and fingers going through your [h/l] hair and his voice giving you the laundry list of things to do. Against your will, you fell asleep. “ . . . and then that’ll be it, and we’ll be done for the day. Perhaps after that I could teach you how to properly clean a window. How does that sound?” he finished, unaware you had fallen asleep. “[First] . . . ? [First]?” Curious as to why you weren’t answering, he lightly turned your shoulder so you could face him. And that’s when he saw your sleeping face. 

“I can’t believe you fell asleep on me, brat,” he chuckled, his tone lighthearted. He placed the brush back on his nightstand before slowly getting out of bed, placing his hands on your shoulders to slow the fall of your torso on his bed. His arms snaked under your body, one under your butt and the other around your waist. He picked you up and moved his arm away from your waist, using it to pull back the blankets on his bed. He placed you in the bed, tucking you in. He couldn’t help but smile a little at how peaceful and beautiful you looked while sleeping. He moved some of your [h/c] hair out of your face before kissing your forehead. 

“Good night, brat,” he said fondly, leaning over you to grab another pillow and an excess blanket. He smirked as he blew out the candle. “It looks like I’m the one on the couch this time.” with one final look at your sleeping frame, he smiled and went to go sleep on his couch.


	9. Living Inside Wall Sina Actually Really Sucks, Let Me Tell You (Day 8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for physical assault and domestic abuse.

Your throbbing headache is what finally woke you up. You kept your eyes shut, though: they still stung, begging for more sleep. _What time is it even,_ you moaned, readjusting your arms so they were under your pillow. You realized this bed felt a lot comfier than the cot you were used to. And the pillowcase on your pillow felt a lot smoother and softer than you had remembered it being. You couldn’t quite place what the fabric was, but it came to you after a moment: silk. _What is a silk pillowcase doing on my pillow?!_ you screamed in your mind. Everything felt vaguely familiar, however, and this sudden change of scenery being familiar to you was terrifying. Your [e/c] eyes shot open, staring up at the vaulted and elaborately paneled ceiling above you.

Vaulted and elaborately paneled ceiling? 

You sat up quickly, looking around at the room and its extremely vivd colors. Pink damask wallpaper covered the four walls, accenting the midnight blue curtains on the white four-poster bed you were sleeping on. Toys and books were strewn everywhere. Two pure white doors were opposite you, and another white, but grander and larger door, was on your right. For a moment, you didn’t recognize the room. Especially once you remembered you had fallen asleep in Levi’s room. 

Levi. 

_Where is he?_ you thought feverishly, looking around the room. _Have I been kidnapped? No, he would never have allowed that to happen._ You looked around, trying to make sense of everything. You were no longer in Levi’s room. You were no longer with him. _Maybe he’s behind one of those doors, perhaps I’m in some part of the castle I’ve never been to before. Maybe this is some practical joke Hange got him to pull with her,_ you tried to rationalize your situation. 

“Levi?” you called out for him. No response. “Levi, where are you?!” Still no response. You threw the heavy blankets off of you and went to the doors in front of you, wincing at the feel of the cold wooden floor on your bare feet. You opened the one on the left first. It lead to an opulent bathroom, all marble, white, and silver. You peeked around but found no trace of Levi. Worry started rising in your system. _What’s going on, where the hell am I?_ You left the room and tried the other door. It lead to a huge dressing room, beautiful dresses hung on racks all across the room. A vanity, make-up scattered across the white top, and a huge jewelry chest sitting across from it on the other side of the room seemed to strike a chord with you, but you still couldn’t figure out why this place was so familiar for you. Large mirrors stood across from you and the door, and for a moment, you didn’t even recognize yourself. 

Your hair was shorn almost completely off; your skin paler than you remembered it being. Maybe that was just because of nerves. You didn’t have your uniform on, and you were sure you had fallen asleep in it. Instead, a nice cotton nightgown with your favorite flowers embroidered on it graced your body, the hem falling just beneath your unscarred knees. You gave yourself a good look. You didn’t look like you had spent three years training to be in the military, and hadn’t then joined the Survey Corps. You looked younger and more sheltered. _WHAT’S GOING ON?!_ you screamed at your reflection. 

“Levi, Hange, this isn’t funny! Where are you?!” you screeched, expecting laughter and their appearing figures, but no one came. Tears started welling up in your eyes, and you wiped them away as fast as you could. You were confused and scared at what was going on. You didn’t know where Levi was, you had no idea where you were, and you were irritated that you couldn’t figure out why everything seemed second hand to you. You left the dressing room and went to the final door, figuring that’s what connected you to the rest of the house. You opened the door and saw two girls, not much older than you, talking and wearing maid’s attire. They looked to you and shrieked, charging towards you and into the room, shutting the door behind them. 

“Miss! You shouldn’t be opening doors to the house when you’re not decent! What’s gotten into you?!” one of them asked you. 

“We’d expect this behavior from Miss Luella, but you?” the other shook her head. “You’re so modest! You’d never do this with a clear head! Are you feeling well, Miss Arvovaltainen?”

_Arvovaltainen?_ Since when did anyone know your real last name? Years had gone by since you had used or heard it. 

And that’s when it hit you. 

You knew these girls. They were your maids. 

You knew this place. It was your old home. 

You were back inside Wall Sina. 

*Fifteen Minutes Later* 

“Are you sure you’re all right, Miss? You haven’t spoken a word all morning,” your brunette maid, Maisie, asked with concern. It was true. You were usually talkative, but you had been silent all morning. You didn’t know what was going on. Surely joining the military hadn’t been a dream? Everything had felt so real. But here you were, back in your childhood home and not in the castle with Levi and your comrades. 

“Just . . . I just had an odd dream is all,” you said quietly. You were sitting in the bathtub, letting them wash and comb your hair. You were honestly at a loss of what to do. You felt numb. 

“What was it about? If you don’t mind me asking, Miss?” the red-haired maid, Daisy. 

“I joined the military and then went on to the Survey Corps,” you told them, and they both gasped in horror.

“Don’t be saying those things, Miss!” Maisie scolded you. “We’d be heartbroken if you went and joined the military!” 

“We don’t want you risk getting yourself killed! No glory is good enough to warrant dying for it!” Daisy added. “And besides, the military is so rough, I don’t imagine why anyone would want to join it anyway!” 

“Well a lot of them are probably wanting to protect their families since Shiganshina threw everything into chaos,” Maisie pointed out. 

“But I still don’t think it’s a good option. Promise us you’ll stay safe inside Wall Sina, Miss!” Daisy made you promise. You just nodded. You felt numb. Had the past few years really had been something you just dreamed up? Your maids got you all washed up and dried off before taking you back into the dressing room. A feeling of déjà vu creeped into your system. 

They picked out a blood-red dress with a cream bow on the back for you to wear. They gave you clean underwear, but you had to talk them out of putting a corset on you. You figured out they spoiled you, and if you begged hard enough they’d let you have your way. You let them put your underskirt and shiny black shoes on you before pulling the red dress over your head. You gasped for air as the tied the bow around your waist tightly. You felt like a helpless maiden trapped in an anaconda’s grip. 

“Sorry, Miss, but your parents told us we need your waist needs to look as tiny as possible,” Daisy apologized sincerely. “You do have a gentleman caller coming today, after all.” 

“‘Gentleman caller?’” you repeated as Maisie opened the door to a wardrobe. Inside there were racks and racks upon [h/c] wigs. 

“Have they been keeping you in the dark again?” Maisie asked, looking over her shoulder to face you. “Your parents are trying to get you off and married by the end of the year.” You felt as if someone had just sucker punched you in the gut, your hand flying up to your hand just in case you needed to contain any vomit that was threatening to make itself present. 

“I still think you’re too young for marriage, with you being just barely fourteen and all,” Daisy commented while your face screwed up in confusion. _Fourteen? I’m not fourteen, I’m seventeen._

_Maybe you just dreamed you were older,_ a small horror-inducing voice in your head suggested. 

_No. This can’t be real. It can’t be,_ you argued with it, but everything was so real. The water was warm, the floor had been freezing. Everything suggested that voice was right, but you refused to believe it. Maisie sauntered over to you, arranging a curled wig on your head, securing it in place with hair pins. 

“Well that and since your sister Miss Ola just got married last year it seemed like they were going to wait until you were eighteen to get married,” she shrugged, smoothing some curls into place. The memory of your predicament hit you in the face like a slap. You didn’t want to get married, but you had to. For your family’s sake. 

“It’s such a shame she wasn’t able to get herself a rich husband,” Maisie sighed. “Marrying for titles is great and all, but I would much prefer a man with money instead.” 

“You can marry whoever my parents are picking for me,” you commented bitterly, making the girls laugh. It annoyed you, them making fun of you being forced into something you desperately didn’t want to do. 

“Believe me, Miss [First], if I could I most certainly would,” she said. “And besides, weren’t you telling us just yesterday that you were excited to meet your prince charming and ride off into your fairy tale life?” 

“Did I say that?” you asked them. It sounded like something the old you would say. The old you that hadn’t been completely broken and thought the world was a good place. A knock on the door sounded. 

“Girls, let me in. I want to see my daughter,” a voice through the door called, as light and airy as a pastry. You completely froze: _Mom._ Maisie went and opened the door, letting your mother into the room. For all the lecturing she did on how to be demure and act like a proper lady, she looked very unladylike. Hell, she looked downright _hysterical._

“M-Mom?” you asked. _It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen her,_ you thought. 

_No, it HAS been years since you’ve seen her,_ you corrected yourself. 

_Can you be so sure?_ The small voice in your head raised doubt in your mind. 

“What are you two girls doing? [First] needs to be downstairs at once!” your mother screamed at Maisie and Daisy, who hung their heads in shame. 

“Please accept our sincerest apologies, Mrs. Arvovaltainen,” Daisy murmured. 

“There’s not time for that! [First], you look perfect, we must go now! Mr. Ravensdale is already here! We’re going to be late for the ball if you don’t hurry up!” Without warning, your mother grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from the kind-hearted maids. They waved good-bye to you, and you managed a half-wave back until your mother dragged you down the hall, down two flights of stairs, across another hall, and to a landing that turned into marble stairs. You could see your older brother and your younger sister standing side by side, and your father with an older gentleman. You had to fight yourself from screaming; every muscle in your body urged you to run in the opposite direction. Your mother yanked on your wrist, urging you to walk down the staircase and to the man. 

Despite the fact it had been years since you had last walked like a lady, you felt like your body you being controlled by someone else. You were able to perfectly recall the lessons you had received about walking properly, and you glided down to staircase elegantly, although your stomach felt like a storm and everything in your body was urging you to turn away. But you were being forced to walk. By your mother or fate, you didn’t know. 

The man accompanying you looked to be twenty or thirty years older than you. You couldn’t really decide. Where age had overlooked Levi, age had definitely stared this man in the face. He looked his age, and you could tell that he was wearing make-up in order to appear younger. His navy blue jacket looked brand new, and you had never seen something so intricately made. And that was saying something. 

“Miss Arvovaltainen, you look lovely today,” he complimented you, offering you his arm. Every nerve in your body was shrieking at you to get away from him, but as if everything was scripted and someone that wasn’t you was controlling your body, you smiled at him and curtsied to him. 

“Thank you, Mr. Ravensdale.” 

*An Hour Later* 

The carriage ride had been full of idle chatter and déjà vu. You felt as if you were separate from your body, and it had been a frustrating, not to mention terrifying, experience. You expected maybe it was because you were so tired and that it would end soon, but as you, your family, and Ravensdale rolled up to the front of yet another grandiose mansion you found it was lessening but not enough for complete comfort. 

Ravensdale helped you out of the carriage. You took his arm and entered the mansion alongside your family. You recognized the home as one belonging to a friend of Ola’s husband. And in a far-off corner, you could see your sister and her husband chatting with friends. Some family friends spotted your parents, and went to engage them in a conversation. You, your siblings, and caller walked around, debating on whether to dance or not. You loved to dance, but Ravensdale insisted on keeping you away from the dance floor. Instead you all walked the perimeter of the room while he told you three of everyone important that he knew that was attending tonight. You found yourself bored out of your mind at his laundry list, as well as finding it pompous that he had to rub his connections in your face. 

“Sir, I heard a rumor that Captain Levi and Commander Erwin of the Survey Corps are here tonight. Do you happen to know them?” your brother asked excitedly; he was lapping up every word that came out of Ravensdale’s thin mouth. 

“Unfortunately I don’t, but I plan on making the acquaintance tonight,” he said, and you felt the air change. It almost felt like it was charged with something, and you no longer felt like everything was scripted. Everything felt right again. _Levi? Levi’s going to be here tonight?_ Your heart fluttered with anticipation, and your hand went to smooth the hair on your wig. _Maybe I can ask him what’s going on. Maybe he’ll know._

_Don’t be stupid, you being with him was just a dream. Get your head out of the clouds,_ the small voice in your head told you. “And speak of the devils, there they are!” your head snapped towards the direction Ravensdale was pointing, and there you could Levi right next to Commander Erwin. Your group went up to them, Ravensdale extending a hand to the two men. “Commander Erwin, I’m Ulric Ravensdale. My family makes the maneuver gear utilized in the military.” 

“Ah, I thought your name was familiar! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ravensdale,” he greeted your gentleman caller as you gave Levi discreet looks. He was as stoic as they day you met him, and although you couldn’t describe it well, he felt different. Maybe it was something with his eyes. They didn’t have that shade of softness they always had with you. No, his eyes were as cold as steel. 

“I didn’t know you had kids, Ravensdale,” Levi said, casting an icy look at you. It was as if he didn’t know you. You could feel the small voice in your head gloat about this. 

“Oh, no. I have no children! This is my betrothed, Miss [First] Arvovaltainen, and her brother Clifton and her sister Luella.” he explained hastily. _Betrothed?!_ you thought wildly. Luella nudged you, reminding you to curtsy to the men while your brother shook their hands.

“I didn’t realize the legal age to marry was ten,” Levi said snarkily, disapproval in his eyes. You noticed Erwin tense up, but Ravensdale laughed it off. The air felt charged again, but this time it felt as if everything was being carefully controlled. You opened your mouth to reprimand Levi for teasing you so harshly, but Ravensdale beat you to it. 

“Oh, Miss [First] isn’t ten years old! She’s sixteen,” he laughed. 

“I’m fourteen,” you corrected him, glaring up at him. Everyone was saying you were fourteen, and even if you weren’t, you wanted him to look bad. His laugh turned from fake to nervous. 

“Sixteen, fourteen, there’s hardly a difference,” he brushed it off. Erwin gave him a weak smile. 

“Of course. Levi and I are supposed to meet with someone, so we regretfully must move on, but it was a pleasure meeting all of you,” he said graciously, nodding to you all. _Wait, Levi, come back!_ you screamed for him, wanting him to turn back around and apologize for giving you such a scare. And confusing the hell out of you. 

_See? That’s just proof that you dreamed up joining the military!_ The voice in your head chided you. _Now be a good girl and return to reality. He doesn’t know you. You don’t know him. Stop fantasizing about some whirlwind romance with him._

_There’s no way that was a dream!_ you protested internally, watching your brother and sister join your older sister and her husband. You never got along with her, and you were too involved with your inner monologue to join them, or notice Ravensdale had started moving you along. 

_You want the Survey Corps dream to be real? Fine,_ the voice spat at you. _Then you realize Levi probably drugged you and dragged you back to Wall Sina to get the reward money._ The thought sent a cold shiver through your body and made your stomach feel sick. 

_Levi would never do that to me! He cares about me!_ you protested. 

_He probably just faked everything. Why would he care about a spineless little princess like you?_ You fought back tears. 

_Shut up! He cares about me! Has some form of love for me, even!_

_You’re getting in over your head. Stop living in a dream world and come back to reality._ The voice commanded you coldly. You snapped out of your inner monologue as you felt the air change yet again. You felt like you had more freedom than before, but at the same time you were having déjà vu once more. It felt odd. The whole situation felt odd. And when you returned to the situation at hand, you realized just how fucked you were. Except for Ravensdale, you could see no one else in sight. Your heart started racing as he threw a door open and shoved you inside. You yelped, falling onto the floor. 

“What was _that?”_ he growled at you. You tried to stand up, but he slammed his foot onto your shoulder, forcing you back to the ground. “A woman does not correct her man. A woman stands there quietly like the pretty decoration she was born to be.” Before you could explain yourself, he kicked you in the stomach, sending your body flying a foot away from him. You screamed at the pain, and it felt as if your stomach had been split in two. “If you scream one more time I’ll make you wish you hadn’t been born!” He sent another kick into your stomach. You stifled a sob, trying to figure out how to save yourself. You were in so much pain you knew you wouldn’t be able to stand up and run away. You had to think of something else. From behind Ravensdale, you saw the door open. He looked behind him, and you saw the love of your life and your savior: Levi.“Levi!” you cried, trying to crawl to him. It was in vain; your body refused to move. “Levi, help me! He’s hurting me!” But to your horror, Levi stayed firmly grounded in the doorway, smirking into the dimly-lit room. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t save little brats who have this sort of thing coming to them,” he said coldly. Your heart was being ripped into shreds as he turned on his heel and left you in the room with your attacker. 

“NO!” you screamed, voice full of anguish and so loud your throat felt like it was being torn apart. “LEVI! LEVI, HELP ME!” Ravensdale continued his abuse of you kicking you all over. Your body was screeching in pain and you wished he would just bash your head and end it now. “LEVI, HE’S HURTING ME! HE’S _HURTING_ ME! LEVI SAVE ME!” You felt your entire body shaking as if someone had gripped your shoulders and was shaking you around. “LEVI HELP ME! HE’S GOING TO KILL ME! WHY WON’T YOU COME BACK?! HELP ME! LEVI!” 

“WAKE UP, GOD DAMN IT! WAKE UP, [FIRST]!” 

You screamed as your eyes flew open, heart beating as fast as it could and your body covered in sweat. You were back in Levi’s bedroom in the castle. He was standing right beside you, hands on your shoulders and looking downright terrified at what was going. A sob erupted out of your throat, and faster than he could have anticipated you flew out of bed and wrapped your arms around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. All you needed right now was him. He put one arm around your waist, and placed his free hand on the back of your head. Everything felt right. You knew you were safe, back in Levi’s bedroom in the castle and far away from Ravensdale and Wall Sina. “You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dying,” he scolded you softy. He looked just as scared as you had been in your dream moments ago. 

“Don’t ever leave me,” you sobbed. 

“What?” he asked, bewildered. 

“I – I had a nightmare and I was being attacked and you just turned a blind eye and let him beat me,” you wailed, gripping him tighter as if he was going to leave you again. His hand moved away from your hair and came to rest under your chin. He tilted your head up so he could look you dead in the eye. 

“I promise you I will never leave you. Ever,” he said as tears still streamed from your eyes. “And if anyone hurts you, they will be dead within seconds.” This earned a weak chuckle from you. You leaned forward, touching your forehead to his. You wanted to be closer to him. He was solace and your protection. You loved him and he was the only one able to make you forget about your nightmare-memory hybrid. He grinned softly, moving his face closer to yours, noses touching. “[First], I will be here for you no matter what.” He moved even closer, sending your heart racing and the butterflies in your stomach into a tizzy. He had never been this close to you before. “I swear to you, I’ll always keep you safe, [First].” His lips were so tantalizingly close to your own . . .


	10. Coming Clean Also Really Sucks, But I Had a Good Reason For Lying Okay? (Day 9)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your nightmare, you decide to tell Levi everything about your past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for domestic abuse.

You sat in Levi’s office, just like you did everyday. But today, your chair had been moved to Levi’s side of the desk. You sat side by side, splitting the desk space. The back of Levi’s left hand rested wooden surface, his palm facing up. Your palm was nestled in his, your fingers keeping your hands clasped together. His thumb rubbed the back of your hand absentmindedly as he worked on the cadets’ schedule for tomorrow. You had your favorite book open in front of you, trying to read the familiar pages. It was difficult to when your mind was elsewhere.

You felt as if you needed to tell Levi everything about your past. After all, it’s not like he could go look at your file and learn about you from that. You had shamelessly lied on the application, so that wouldn’t let him know what had really happened with you. According to your file, your name was [First] [Last], you were fourteen when you started training, you had been born and raised in Shiganshina, you had no remaining family, and the injuries you had sustained right before you joined the military were caused by a brutal mugging. 

In reality, the only things you had been honest about had been your first name, appearance, and age. Everything else you lied about. It’s not like you could be truthful on the application. You had people searching for you. If you had put your real name on the application, you would have been dragged kicking and screaming back to Wall Sina. 

You didn’t know what to tell Levi. He knew you had lied on your application, and you felt like you should tell him about your past. After all, good couples weren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other, right? But then again, you despised even thinking about your past. That nightmare had sent you over the edge, and it was a good thing Levi had let you sleep in until noon yesterday because you hadn’t slept well last night for fear of having more nightmares about your past. 

“[First]? Do you want to do training with your friends tomorrow or do you want to have a another one-on-one session with me?” he asked you, making you snap out of your thoughts.

“Uh, I’d like to train with my friends, if you don’t mind,” you requested. You didn’t have anything against training with Levi, but you wanted to spend some more time with your friends. 

“I don’t. I only feel a small sense of betrayal,” he joked in a deadpan tone. He waited for you to chuckle, but you didn’t. “The day after tomorrow, we leave for that party. It’s formal. Hange offered to let you have one of her old dresses if you don’t have anything to wear.”

“I don’t,” you replied quietly, debating on whether or not to talk to him about your past. You returned your gaze to your book, staring past the pages and into space.

“I’ll let Hange know you’re taking her up on her offer. It’ll need to be altered considering Hange is nearly twice your size,” he told you.

“I can fix it,” you said shortly. He turned his body to face you.

“I was actually planning on helping you. Working alone you’re not going to be able to finish it before we have to leave. It’s a long ride to Wall Sina from here. You won’t have any time the day of to work on it.” 

“Okay.”

“It’ll be an overnight trip. Pack accordingly.”

“Okay.” 

“We’re mostly going to be up very late, and we must leave very early in the morning. I doubt we’ll get back after dinner time, but it’s a possibility. We’ll be bringing back the piece of shit that bought his way in, so don’t expect to be able to sleep on the way back here. He’ll want to interrogate us all.”

“Okay.”

“And be sure to pack an extra set of clothes just in case something happens.”

“Okay.”

“I’m thinking of returning to a life of crime and running a whorehouse.”

“Okay.” His cool fingers dragged out of your own world by clutching your chin and making you face him. He looked at you, an aloof expression present on his face.

“So you’re okay with me abandoning the military and becoming a pimp?” he asked, a microscopic smile on his lips.

“No!” you replied indignantly: he gave you a pointed look. “I said ‘okay’ to that didn’t I? I’m sorry, my mind is elsewhere.” 

“I knew you were less than thrilled to be going to this farce of a party, but I didn’t imagine you’d just take me briefing you on the plan as an invitation to completely ignore me,” he said, irritated to put it lightly.

“No, I didn’t mean to on purpose, and it’s not about the party. Well, it’s not _completely_ about the party. Levi, I just -” Shakily, you took a deep breath. You were going to delve into what was really making you nervous. “Levi, I need to talk to you about something.” You waited for him to say something, but he was silent as he stared at you and moving his hand off of your chin and back down to your hand. With a small cough and squeezing his hand, you decided to begin your story.

“I-I was born in Wall Sina, in Mitras as [First] Arvovaltainen. I have an older sister, an older brother, and a younger sister. I come from a distinguished line, not that you would know it by the way my family acts,” you added bitterly. Levi said nothing, letting you continue on. “By all accounts, I had a childhood most kids would’ve died for. I was always well-fed, I got taken care of. Everything was fine until I turned fourteen. That’s when everything started going downhill.

“My parents liked opulence and we were running out of money. My dad was losing favor with the other nobles, and something had to be done. My oldest sister got married at eighteen to a man with a respectable title. Which was good for our family’s image, but it wasn’t enough. I was put next in line to marry. They cut me off of sweets and to get me to lose some weight, and when that wasn’t working fast enough they decided a small meal a day and a corset were my best options. I needed to find a rich husband and be a trophy wife. A-at first, the only thing that bothered me was being deprived of food and having to wear a corset.”

You weakly laughed, trying not to show the emotional pain caused by those memories and retrospect. “I was such an idiot. I thought it would lead to my fairy tale ending. I agreed to an arranged marriage at first, but once I met the men my parents were considering, I quickly protested and withdrew my agreement. Not that my parents listened when I told them of how horrible the suitors were,” you said tartly. “They told me to suck it up and that I shouldn’t have been arguing with them about it.” – your vision got blurry as tears welled up in your eyes – “They chose the most horrid man possible, and drew up the betrothal faster than I thought they would. 

“He accompanied my family to some ball. I mouthed off to him. And, well, it turns out he wasn’t okay with me having a mind of my own.” you bit your lip, remembering that horrible night. The memory of what happened mixed with your nightmare in a terrifying dance, and it was physically painful to remember. The places where Ravensdale had hit you flared up in phantom pain. “He . . . he beat me within an inch of my life in a back room. I knew then I had to do something, so I decided then I was going to flee to Wall Rose. All the heroines in the stories I read joined the military when fleeing an unsavory situation. I was a naïve child, and that’s all I knew so I acted on it, applying and starting training. And now I’m here.” You looked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. As the case was usually, his emotions were being hid behind a perfect poker face.

“So, let me get this straight,” he began, his hands coming together at the fingertips. “You’re betrothed to someone, and you’re just telling me this _now?”_

“I-I don’t know if the betrothal is still in place. In all likelihood he’s married my younger sister by now. My parents were hell bent on getting him in the family,” you rationalized, but Levi was not having any of it.

“[First], why didn’t you tell me this earlier?!” he demanded, hurt flaring in his blue eyes.

“I didn’t think it was important until now,” you admitted, flinching a little. “I figured I should tell you now because we’re together and you have a right to know.” He sighed, staring down at the floor for a moment.

“It’s been, what, three and a half years since you’ve had contact with anyone from Wall Sina?” he asked, and you nodded.  He sharply exhaled, but said nothing.

“Levi, I’m sorry, but honestly why should I have told you about my past before now when I knew, and still know, nothing about your past.”

“I’m not disagreeing with your logic, princess. I’m upset because you didn’t tell me about this betrothal last night. It would have made it a lot easier for me to have comforted you knowing that’s what you were screaming about and it would have made me think twice before initiating anything.” Your heart stopped, fear rising in your body.

“You wouldn’t have started this if you knew about it?” you couldn’t hide the despair in your voice.

“I didn’t say that. I said I would have thought harder about it before I did anything.”

“That’s practically the same thing!” you protested.

“It’s not [First] and you fucking know it!” he argued back. “I meant I would have looked up how to break up a betrothal before I made you my assistant and before I initiated anything with us so it’d be guaranteed that if this works out we can legally get married.” 

“So me becoming your assistant was just a way for you to get to know me better?” you asked him to clarify. _Now it makes sense why Erwin was so against this punishment in the first place,_ you thought.

“You’re really just figuring that out now?” he retorted. 

“Levi, if this works, we still can get married. He’s probably married to someone else, he was close to having a midlife crisis by the time I came along so probably nullified our betrothal and married some other girl. That,” You took a deep breath, shutting your eyes tight at what you were going to say. “or I’ll contact him and demand he break off our engagement.” When you opened your eyes a smidgen to see Levi’s reaction, his eyes were widened with surprised, looking simply dumbfounded. This expression died quickly, a look of determination replacing the surprise.

“I won’t let you ask him to nullify anything,” he said, and before you could even think of protesting, he continued. “You said this man almost killed you for just being a smart ass. I’m sure as hell not letting you anywhere near this asshole, he’d outright murder you if he . . .” His voice trailed off as realization slapped him in the face. “That’s why you don’t want to go to the party. You’re afraid he’s going to be there, aren’t you?” he asked you gently.

“Yes,” you replied softly. He grabbed your hand, squeezing it before placing a tender kiss on it. 

“You have to go to the party. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the one to think you were from Sina originally. Erwin’s known for a while and he’s hell bent on you coming because you’ll know everyone and be able to tell us what kind of acquaintances this new big-shot has. But I promise I’ll help protect and hide you if this asshole is at the party.”

“Thank you,” you said weakly, staring at the floor again. Levi tucked you under the chin, lifting your head and placing a chaste kiss on your lips.

“You don’t have to thank me, [First],” he told you with a smirk on his face. “I don’t think I would make a good beloved if I didn’t try to protect you from those who have harmed you.” You smiled at him, returning the kiss. As long as Levi was beside you, you were guaranteed to be safe, right?


	11. Compromise is Okay, I Guess (Day 10)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes over the party details with you, and eventually it becomes a discussion about your relationship and what you both want.

Come straight to my office as soon as you find this note. Don’t dawdle with ANYTHING. Don’t get in your uniform, just throw a robe on. I will explain everything once you get to my office. – Levi.

You yawned as you trudged up the staircase to Levi’s office. Although you were confused by his note, you followed his orders, wearing a robe over your nightgown as you went up the spiral staircase. His door was open, and you walked right in. 

“Levi, what’s going on?” you asked groggily. He was already at his desk, sipping a cup of tea while reading a novel. You noticed he was already dressed. His windows were covered with thick wooden shutters and he only had a few candles lit on his desk. Made sense, it wasn’t light outside yet. You noticed your breakfast was already on your side of his desk, ready for you to eat. He looked up from his book. 

“Sit down, [First],” he said. You were too tired to be surprised at the lack of pushiness in his voice. You obeyed his order, plopping into the hard chair in from of him and digging into your breakfast. “I wanted us to get this dress business out of the way as soon as possible.” 

“Right. I almost forgot about that,” you said through a full mouth of oatmeal. He rolled his eyes at you, standing up to return his book to the bookcase. He lightly tapped your head with the book before putting it back. “What was that for?” you teased him. 

“For not having any decorum,” he said in a perfect deadpan. You laughed. 

“Sorry,” you grinned at him. He picked up a blue bundle from his sofa and put it in front of you. “Go change. You can eat while we’re sewing this thing,” he commanded you gently.  You sighed melodramatically before taking the dress and going into his bedroom to change. You stripped quickly and pulled the dress over your head. It wasn’t as big as you were expecting, you were pleased to find. _Less work for everyone,_ you internally sighed in relief. The dress was simple, a corset top with long sleeves and a floor-length skirt. There were a few ribbons and trim accents to make it fit for a formal party. It was a deep blue, and you found it accented your [e/c] eyes very well. Your arms reached behind you, trying to do up the lacing in the back. Blindly, you struggled threading the thick blue ribbon through the holes in the back. _Dammit, why is this so hard?_ you complained as you looked at yourself, frustrated, in the mirror. _I’ll just have Levi do it._

You grabbed the stool by his bedroom door before reentering his office. You’d need it. He was waiting for you, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against his desk. His head turned sharply at the sound of your feet hitting the stone floor with every step you took. He said nothing, simply taking you in.

“Can you lace this up? I can’t do it,” you asked him, striding towards him and not even waiting for an answer before turning your back to him. He silently agreed, grabbing each end of the ribbon and threading them through the eyelets. “Thank you.” 

“You look very nice in this color,” he commented as you felt the sides of the dress crawl up and hug your body. Your cheeks turned light pink. 

“Thank you.” You felt him tug hard on the ribbons. 

“Done. Go stand on that stool while I fix the hem,” he commanded, grabbing a pincushion from his desk as you obeyed his order. 

“Hand me a few pins, I’m going to fix the sleeves while you’re doing that,” you said, and he handed you a few before getting on his knees to fix the hem of the dress. “I know you told me yesterday, but how long is this thing supposed to be?”

“The party? It starts at seven and Erwin was vague about the end time. You would know better than I would. How long do you think it will last?” he returned, making you shrug.

“I’d think at least midnight, maybe longer, depending who’s throwing it. My parents always ended their parties at midnight but I’ve been to balls where I returned to my house at two in the morning or later. Do you know who’s throwing it?”

“No. I don’t know that much about this sort of thing. I’ve never been to this sort of function before,” he admitted. 

“Oh?” For some reason, your lips curled into a smile. The fact he had never been to a ball amused you. He glanced up at your grinning face.

“What’s so funny about it, princess?” he demanded. 

“I don’t know. I just imagined you would have been to one before,” you shrugged again. “So you have no idea what happens at balls?” An idea popped into your head, making your grin even wider. 

“I know rich idiots get drunk and feast while everyone else is less fortunate,” he said bitterly, roughly forcing a pin through the dress. 

“That’s fairly accurate, but you're missing a few details,” you told him smugly. 

“Like what?” he asked. “That they also have some hedonistic orgy or something?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a different kind of party,” you said. “No, at this party, you’re going to have some expectations on behavior.”

“Do you think I care about that shit?” he asked.

“I think you’d care if it effected the reputation of the girl you’re taking,” you bluffed. 

“All right. Hit me,” he said.

“The only acceptable thing to do at balls is make sure you dance a lot with your partner, and sweep her off her feet, and go for a stroll in a hedge maze and conveniently get lost -”

“Stop fucking with me, [First],” he told you, mock serious. “That’s all bullshit and you know it.” 

“It is _not!_ Haven’t you heard stories of couples dancing the night away at balls?” 

“Yes, and shortly after some misfortune occurred. Like mass murder or a mugging,” he said.

“Yes, because titans are going to break into the ball just to kill us,” you snarked at him.

“Considering there are titans in Wall Sina, it’s a possibility,” he retorted, and you sighed as you rolled your eyes. If you weren’t going to trick him into giving you what you wanted, you were going to outright ask, no, _demand,_ what you wanted.

“Levi, I want you to dance with me tomorrow night,” you told him. 

“What?” he asked. He had moved behind you, so you couldn’t see his reaction, but if his voice was any indication, he wasn’t mad, just surprised. 

“I want to dance with you tomorrow night at the party,” you repeated.

“I’m not a dancer, [First],” he said.

“Please, Levi? You know if we just sit around the whole time it’ll be a miserable night for the both of us.”

“We’ll probably have to socialize the entire time in order to dig up some dirt on this asshole,” he pointed out. “We know next to nothing about him other than he’s just another rich idiot, but he’s got the power or influence to be able to get into the military without training. And frankly, I think learning about this little shit is more important than dancing.” You held your tongue, silently sliding a pin into your sleeve. You just wanted a romantic night with him, and you figured that party was going to be one of the few, if not your only, chances at that. A small part of you was still that little girl who wanted to waltz off into the night with her prince. 

“Fine,” you pouted. You had to accept reality: you were not going to have that romantic dream fulfilled. You were not a princess after all, and Levi was no prince. He reached the other side of your hem and looked up at your sullen face.

“Why do you care about dancing, anyway? I never pegged you down as someone that enjoyed an activity that involves grace,” he said, putting the pincushion down and looking up at you.

“I just wanted to have a not entirely horrid night is all. I thought it would be a cute, sorta date idea since I doubt we’re ever going to have a proper date.”

“Does that really matter?”

“Yes, it does! It does to me!” you told him indignantly. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never gone through these motions before. I haven’t had the chance to experience any of the normal relationship things, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to do that.” You sighed. “But you have a point, we do have an actual job to do there.” He stared at you, his blue eyes on your face even after you looked away. He slowly stood up and put a hand on your shoulder, his eyes full of understanding but still holding their normal sternness.

“[First], do you know how old I am?” he asked you. 

“Thirty-four or thirty-five, right?” you replied, refusing to fully meet his eyes. “I bet this is all old hat to you, isn’t it?” you added sharply. You could tell that you made a precise hit. 

“I’m twice your age, [First], and I’m not a romantic person in general. You need to understand that I simply haven’t thought about these sort of things recently. Or all that much. I haven’t thought about you being new to all of this whereas I’ve done this once or twice and I’m at the point where all those small things aren’t what I want to focus on.” 

“So you don’t want to actually do anything romantic, or lover-y, or puppy lovey? You just want to call ourselves a pair and just leave it at kisses and hugs?” you asked him with an edge to your voice. His hand moved to the small of your back, and to your surprise, he smirked. 

“Trust me, I want far more than just kisses from you. I meant I just haven’t thought of all of those small things you’re thinking of. You’re thinking of dates, I’m thinking of just having tea together. Think of it like this: we’re thinking of different small moments. You’re looking for the exciting, puppy love moments, and I’m thinking of the subdued moments that lovers have when they’ve been together for years. Does that make sense?”

“Of course it makes sense, you’re not speaking another language,” you said sourly. You didn’t want to be lectured, you just wanted him to fucking dance with you. Was that too much to ask?

“I just want us to be on the same page, princess,” he said, the smirk falling off his face. “You’re really upset about this?”

“Yes,” you replied tersely.

“How about this: let’s make a deal,” he propositioned, his hand sliding across your back to your hip. You felt your temperature raise, especially where his hand had rubbed. You felt a little ashamed he was able to make you feel all giddy and nervous when he wasn’t even touching bare skin. “If we have time after extracting information, I’ll dance with you. But for every little puppy love moment you want, you have to do something I want in return. Deal?” You couldn’t help but grin. You wouldn’t mind doing what he said he wanted. Subdued moments were what he wanted and that was fine with you. 

“All right, deal,” you said, rolling your eyes melodramatically at him. “I guess if I have to.” He grinned, and moved his arm off of your body. You smiled. He may not be a prince, but he was the best man you could have ever fallen for. 

“It’ll make us both happy,” he promised. He quickly leaned down and pinned the last centimeters of fabric up. He picked up the pin cushion with his right hand, walking behind you. With his free hand, he slapped your butt unnecessarily hard. You squealed, almost toppling off of the stool.

_“LEVI!”_ you shrieked, trying to regain your balance as you turned sharply to face him. A smirk was on his lips, and you could tell he was fighting back laughter. 

“I thought you said you wanted puppy love moments? That’s what young couples do, that was a puppy love moment,” he told you smugly.

“That wasn’t what I meant, Levi!”


	12. Wall Sina Still Sucks, But at Least I’m Here With Levi. (Day 11, Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin, Hange, Levi, and you arrive in Mitras. Among the ball gowns and pompous nobles, you find someone from your past that you hoped you'd never have to see again.

Cold grey lampposts dumped light onto the cobblestone road and shop façades as your carriage made its way down the street. Lace curtains were drawn over windows like veils over widows’ faces. The sky was a black and endless void. There were no clouds. There were no stars out tonight. The moon was a muddy orange and not a virginal, pure white that you were so used to it being. The walls of your carriage weren't thick enough to keep out the persistent and penetrating chill in the air. Shivering, you hugged your sides as you tugged on your shawl to make it wrap around your body as tightly as a shroud. The night was as cold and dark as the city.

Mitras hadn't changed one bit since you fled. 

"Cold, [First]?" Levi asked as you noticeable shivered. 

"No, I’m just shivering because I’m bored," you told him sarcastically as you rolled your eyes at him. He smirked. 

"I told you to pack a cloak or a jacket. You should have listened to me," he pretended to scold you as he took off his jacket. "Here. You'll wear yourself out if you keep shivering that violently." You gratefully took his jacket, discarding the thin shawl Krista had lent you and pulling on Levi's jacket. It was still warm from his body. 

"Thank you," you told him, snuggling into it. 

"[First], do you remember what to do if you see someone you recognize?" Erwin asked from his seat across from Levi. You nodded, fingers gently stroking the pinned-up veil attached to the small hat on your head. Petra had left it to you in her will. 

"Pull this veil down and pretend not to notice them," you responded. Yesterday you had gone to Erwin and told him everything. How you had fled the capital, how you had lied on the application, and how you were not who you said you were. He had been understanding and promised not to return you to your parents and betrothed, and had worked with you to create a plan in case anyone noticed you. 

"And I'll keep an eye out for that family so we can keep avoiding them," Levi added, and Erwin nodded. "As important as it is to go over the protection plans, who is it that we're investigating?" Erwin's face grew serious, and you could see more than a hint of irritation in his blue eyes. 

"I haven't been informed of his identity yet. The nobles who appointed him have told me nothing, only that I am to have a brief meeting with him tonight during this party."

"What?!" you asked incredulously while Hange gasped and Levi's eyes flared open wide with surprise. "Commander, I need to know his name in order to figure out who he's associating with." _How the hell am I supposed to do my job if I don’t know who I’m investigating?!_

"I'm fully aware of that, [First]," he said, for the most part calmly but you could detect a small edge to his words. "I imagine you can just figure out what kind of man he is by the families he associates with. I want you to be on the lookout for families you know, and I believe you can put the pieces together fairly well from that. Only ask around if you don't know the family. I don't want someone recognizing you." 

"None of us do," Hange added to his statement. She peered out the window and onto the dim streets. "I think we're approaching the place, we're slowing down." You peeked out the window, looking onto the small but overly-elegant mansion.

"I don't recognize the home, but the owner clearly is trying to make us think he has lots of money but when compared to other nobles he's probably considerably poorer. Small mansions with faux-prestigious exteriors always point to that." you reported matter-of-factly, looking at the large stone pillars lining the front of the house. Wrought iron balconies and ivy slithering up the basic grey walls graced the face of the mansion. But everything was too new to be genuine; whoever this man was he wanted people to think he was more distinguished than he was. 

"Good insight, [First]," Levi said softly, putting his arm around your shoulders. "So we know he's some moron trying to be a distinguished moron. Tch. Of course," he added disgustedly. 

"Pot, meet kettle," Hange commented under her breath, making you giggle uncontrollably. Levi narrowed his eyes. 

"What?" he demanded. 

"You're no different, with your ridiculous cravat and fancy way of drinking tea. You look distinguished, but you have a harsh and rude attitude," Hange told him. You continued laughing until Levi shot you an angry glare. You coughed and tried to contain yourself. 

"That might be true but at least I'm not a part of the shit head nobility," he said. 

"Hey!" you reprimanded him. 

"You rejected the aristocracy, you can't pull the 'I'm offended' card," he pointed out.

"My sister is still a part of it and she is far from a ‘shit head,’" you said indignantly, folding your arms in front of your chest. 

"I'm sorry. I'll be sure to exclude her whenever I call out high society," he said, making you roll your eyes. Your carriage neared the mansion's entrance, and you smoothed out your skirt, making sure the fabric was wrinkle-free. You shrugged off Levi's jacket and gave it back to him, the cold dragging knives against your body as you tied Krista's shawl around your shoulders. Your fingers cautiously checked your hair, making sure your bun and the loose curls cascading down the back of your head were still in place. 

"You look beautiful," Levi leaned over to you and whispered into your ear. You blushed, making your made-up cheeks even pinker. 

"Thank you, Levi," you whispered back as Erwin and Hange were getting ready to exit the carriage. You sighed as it was time to leave the protection of the carriage. Your mind scrambled to remember all of the etiquette you had been taught; but when Erwin and Hange left the carriage and Levi stepped out behind them, standing on the stone streets and extending his hand to help you out, muscle memory kicked in. You tenderly took his hand and stepped onto the ground, making sure your steps were light and silent. A gracious smile found its way onto your pink lips as you floated up the steps, hand resting on his arm. You had practiced this an innumerable amount of times and had successfully executed it several times since your early and hurried coming out. 

All of you entered the foyer, making your way to the open doors of the ballroom. Erwin said a few words to a servant by the door, and recognized him as the one with the job to announce names. The man turned to face the entirety of the ballroom, and you stepped forward, dragging Levi with you and making him stumble. Hange and Erwin stepped forward, following your lead. 

"Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps, Squad Leader Hange Zoë, Lance Corporal Levi, and Team Leader [First] [Last]." the man announced to the crowd. _Team Leader? When did that happen?_ you asked yourself confusedly, but you made sure your face didn't show it. Many eyes were glued to your group as you descended a grand staircase into the ball room. There was no time to drop your lady-like façade. 

"I can't have the scandal of a captain taking a cadet to a ball like this," Erwin muttered good-naturedly to you from your left. After you had come clean to Erwin about your past, Levi had told him about yours and his relationship. You hadn't been present for it, and Levi refused to tell what he had told Erwin, but whatever he said to his superior had made him more accepting of the situation. 

"Thank you, sir," you replied, smiling at the crowd. _I know most of these families,_ you thought, your panic rising as you scanned the large room for familiar faces. No one looked like they remembered you, but that meant nothing. They had been practicing the art of separating thoughts from facial reactions longer than you had. 

"I'm going to go find our newest Survey Corps member," Erwin turned to you all as you reached the floor of the room, removing his arm from Hange's grasp. "Hange, you go socialize. Levi, [First], you take a look around." You all nodded at each other before breaking up. 

"So, who do you recognize?" Levi asked as you unpinned the veil and drew it cautiously over your eyes. You both began to walk around the room, making sure to keep your voices down. 

"Nearly everyone," you looked around the room nervously. "These are people my parents are close to.” A horrific thought went through your mind. “Oh, God, what if my parents are here?" Your [e/c] eyes widened in horror, imagining a reunion with your parents. 

"Then we'll avoid them. And if we can't, then I guess I get to meet your parents a little early." 

"Levi, it's not funny!" you reprimanded him harshly. "You realize if that happens all hell will break loose?!" 

"I was just trying to ease the tension. Don't get your panties in a bunch," he defended himself before sighing. "Tell me about these families. Who is this guy associating with?" 

"Well by the orchestra are Lord and Lady Carstairs. They're actually very nice; I was friendly with their daughter. They're talking with Lord Reiss, he's got a thing for escorts and he's a part of the crazy Wall Cult. By the staircase are the Morgensterns," You dropped your voice to an even quieter tone. "They can't keep their hands off each other or other family members. They're talking with the Bennetts, who all have a taste for drugs, and the Jamesons, who secretly run most of the brothels in the city." 

"So this man associates with the disgusting portion of the nobility?" Levi asked under his breath.

"No, he associates with the normal portion of the nobility," you replied darkly, continuing to look out for your parents or the vile man they had tried to marry you to. Thankfully, it seemed as if they were absent. You let yourself relax a little, sighing a breath of relief. "I don't see my family here, thank God," you told him. 

"Good," he replied as the orchestra finished a song and began another one. "When did you want to redeem that dance I promised you?" he added, almost bored sounding. 

"Eager to get it over with?" you teased him with a large smile. He rolled his eyes at you. 

"I'm asking because a new song is starting and we have practically nothing to do." 

"Levi, are you asking me to dance?" you asked him, trying to fight back giggles. A slight smile curled on his lips. 

"It took you long enough," he muttered. You laughed, and grabbed his hand, joining the other dancers waltzing across the floor. His free arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close to him and closer than was socially acceptable at this sort of event. Not that you minded at all. Despite his claims, he was actually an okay dancer. He only stepped on your feet once. “You now owe me two moments.” he told you as he spun you. 

“One dance doesn’t mean two moments for you!” you protested. 

“You’re forgetting I gave you my jacket in the carriage,” he reminded you teasingly. 

“That doesn’t count!” you replied, making him snicker. “Couples of all ages do that! But I _guess_  if it makes you happy I’ll do it,” you added, mock defeated. You looked around at the other dancing couples. You saw one, comprised of two people you didn’t know but looked your age. The boy was completely holding up his lover, spinning her in a circle across the dance floor. You thought it looked like fun. “Levi, why do you never carry me around?” you asked him, nodding to the couple and pouting. 

“Because I have dignity,” he smirked at you. He spun you again, and brought you even closer to him. You both were practically embracing. A small voice in the back of your head told you to break it up, otherwise people would talk, but you ignored the voice. All you wanted to focus on was Levi. You had danced with men at balls before, but this was different from all those other times. You were dancing with someone you loved, and it was the best feeling you could ever imagine. His hands, one holding you close and the other clasping your hand, felt warm and protective. As if nothing could ever go wrong. With his chest pressed against yours, you could feel the steady beating of his heart. It calmed you down and drove you crazy at the same. Right now, you felt nothing but love for him. You had never felt happier in your life, and you felt your bond with him deepen. In that moment, you knew he was the man you wanted to marry and spend the rest of your life with. 

The song slowed and came to a stop. Levi steered you two to halt, much to your annoyance. You wanted to dance all night with him. 

“That was very fun, thank you,” you told him, lowering your clasped hands. 

“It was more fun than I was expecting," he agreed, the smallest smile on his face. Something caught his eye, and he turned his head away to look for it. “It looks like Erwin found our fresh piece of meat,” he commented, turning his head back to you and jerking it in Erwin’s direction. You turned your head to look. 

Your heart stopped. 

“No, no no no no no _no,”_ you muttered under your breath, you shaking hands tugging the veil over your face even more. If he was here, your family was certain to be here as well, hiding in shadows. _My family is here, if he’s here my family is somewhere in the shadows._ you thought, bile rising in your throat. You choked it down before turning to your boyfriend. “Levi, hide me. I know him, he can’t see me.”

“What?” he asked. “[First], as much as I want to -” 

“Levi, please!” you begged him, grabbing his shoulders. Your body was trembling and tears were clouding your [e/c] eyes. You could feel your heart rate getting dangerously high and your head was spinning. “He can’t see me; he can’t know I’m alive. If he sees me it’s all over, he can’t know I’m alive or know my whereabouts!” His blue eyes looked alarmed and conflicted as he simply stared at you. For once, he was at a loss of what to do. 

“Levi, [First], I’m glad I found you!” Erwin greeted you two respectfully, unaware of the sheer amount of hysteria you were. His companion, however, noticed it and recognized you. His thin mouth dropped, his eyes bugging out. It was too late. He knew it was you. It was all over. _The only thing I can do is face him with dignity,_ you told yourself, fighting back tears and trying to control your shaking body. 

“[First]?!” the man asked, staring at your incredulously. You removed your hands from the still shocked Levi, straightening your back. You were going to be forced into this life again soon, you needed to start acting the part. You turned to the man and Erwin, forcing a lady-like smile onto your lips. 

“Hello. Long time no see, big brother.”


	13. My Brother is a Complete Asshole (Day 11, Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being reunited with your brother, he enlists in the Survey Corps. You realize you aren't going to escape your past so easily, and that your brother really is an awful person.

“. . . And that was how I ran away and joined the Survey Corps.” You, your brother Clifton, and Erwin sat at a table under a wrought iron gazebo in the middle of a small hedge maze. Clifton had demanded to know what had happened since you disappeared, so Erwin had accompanied you two somewhere private to discuss the past three-ish years of your life. Your brother stared you down the entire time you told your tale, looking at you with an almost calm-looking rage. Fire was in his eyes that matched yours perfect, and you knew you were in deep trouble. You wished Levi was with you right now, but Erwin had made Hange keep him away. You knew it was for the best; the two most stubborn and headstrong men in your life butting heads was not going to end well.

“We thought you had been kidnapped and sold into prostitution!” Clifton all but yelled at you, and you imagined if venom had noise, it would be his voice. “We thought you were _dead,_ [First]! Do you have any idea what you did to us?!” 

“I’m sorry I made you worry, but I had to get out of there,” you stayed planted on your ground, glaring right back at your brother. 

“Forget _worrying,_ do you realize that without that marriage we were nearly forced to move to Wall Rose?!” his voice started rising. “Our family was centimeters away from disgrace because of your selfishness!” 

“Yeah, because honor and money are the only things in life!” you spat at him. _I can’t believe all he cares about is the family honor! I could have been dead and he’s rattling on about disgrace! What happened to him?! He used to never be like this!_ “Listen to yourself, you sound just like every other pompous prick in your ballroom! I ran away because I valued my life and it was clear that a marriage to Ravensdale was a death sentence! I would have been dead in a year or two! And then what?!” 

“And then we’d have one less mouth to feed and we’d still be able to get some money out of him!” Clifton shouted at you. “If you had just acted like how women _should_ act, you would have lived to an old age! Can you blame him?! Who wants a smart ass for a wife?! Your stupidity and stubbornness almost ruined our family! You abandoned us! While you were off being a soldier, we struggled to make ends meet! Mom had to sell half of her gowns, we had to stop having balls, and we couldn’t have holiday feasts! We were _barely_ getting by while you were living it up fighting titans!” 

“You better shut the _fuck_ up and listen to me!” Your fists slammed the table as you stood up, towering over your brother’s sitting figure. “At least in the military I’m accepted for who I am! You call me selfish but I’m the one that pledged my life to humanity. I risk my life to save the human population every day while you sit sucking on a silver spoon while being surrounded by dumb ass luxuries. I couldn’t care less about the luxuries you and your family had to undergo. It’s far better than the living conditions in Wall Rose. It’s better than my living conditions in the Survey Corps. And you _dare_ to think fighting titans is glorious? You think it’ll immortalize you in history books? Well guess what? When you watch your friends die right in front of your eyes, when you are in a titan’s grasp and a breadth away from certain death, when you see dead children’s dismembered body parts lining the streets, tell me again how war is glorious,” you challenged him, your face the definition of rage. “You think this is going to win you glory. I know you, Clifton, and I’m telling you, if you haven’t already been sworn in, back out. This isn’t the life for you.” 

“I’m not letting an insolent little bitch like you tell me what I’m going to do with my life!” he snarled at you. “And you need to start acting like a lady. You may not consider me or anyone family anymore, but you can’t run away from the fact that you are an Arvovaltainen. You are nobility, and you need to start acting properly. And for all you know, I’m joining the Scouting Legion because I want to protect humanity.” 

“That’s complete bullshit you piece of crap and you fucking know it,” you said, trying to fit as many vulgar words into your sentence just to spite him. “You think this is going to win you fame. I spent more than a decade living with you. You’ve changed, but you haven’t changed that much. This isn’t the right path for you.” Your brother had had enough. He stood up, easily towering over you. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Erwin was ready to break you two apart if worse came to worse. 

“START ACTING LIKE THE LADY YOU ARE, [FIRST]!” he screamed at you, completely letting loose his rage. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO A MAN LIKE THIS, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SWEAR AT ALL, AND YOU SURE AS HELL HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS. JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!” 

“I AM [FIRST] [LAST], AND I AM A WARRIOR PRINCESS DEDICATED TO THE PRESERVATION OF THE HUMAN RACE!” you screamed back at him, [e/c] eyes practically hellish flames. “I KILL TITANS WITHOUT MERCY! I BUTCHER MY PREY WITHOUT HESITATION! I SLAUGHTER THOSE WHO STAND IN THE WAY OF THE HUMAN RACE! I AM NOT JUST A FEMALE SOLDIER! I AM A WARRIOR PRINCESS WHO WON’T STOP UNTIL ALL THE TITANS HAVE BEEN MASSACRED AND I RISE FROM THEIR GORY CORPSES AS QUEEN OF THE BATTLEFIELD!” Clifton hand whipped to strike you, but Erwin stood quickly and grabbed your brother’s wrist. 

“This is _enough,_ you two!” he told you both sternly, as if you were only in a minor altercation and you two hadn’t been screeching at the other. “Clifton, being a soldier is a respectable occupation for women. I’m telling you now, your misogynistic attitude isn’t going to win you any favors with _anyone_ in the Survey Corps. So I would suggest dropping those beliefs. They’re only going to harm you in the end. [First] has told you everything you need to know. This conversation is ending now and we are heading back to the party. You need to be formally introduced to Hange and Levi.” Clifton glowered at Erwin, but dropped his arm. You left before the men, striding with large steps to the party. Erwin and Clifton sprinted to catch up with you, and the Commander made sure to stand between you two. 

“As much of a disgrace you are, I need to tell Mom, Dad, and Ola that you’re alive,” Clifton informed you. “Mom especially has been missing you these past few years. I never understood it, but she’ll want to know you’re alive. And Luella would have wanted to know you were alive, but your reckless behavior killed her,” he added spitefully. 

“Luella’s _dead?”_ you asked, feeling as if he had sucker punched you in the stomach. 

“She had to get married because you ran off,” he informed you, confirming your worst fears. “It was a respectable marriage. We were able to get a lot of money from her husband. But she died in childbirth. And it all could have been avoided if you had just accepted your responsibility to your family in the first place.”

“It’s not [First]’s fault,” Erwin defended you as you tried to hold back tears. You had been terrified that Luella, your best friend and precious sister, would be next in line to marry, but you never imagined she would get married so young. Clifton _was_ right: it was your fault your one true family member was dead. You bit the inside of your lip, fighting back the barrage of tears that impaired your vision and threatened to flood your face. “It’s not her fault your parents decided marrying off their youngest daughter was the best solution to your family’s money problems.” He held the door open for you, but closed it on Clifton as he followed you inside the ballroom. You heard your brother cry out in shock, followed by the sound of hinges opening and heavy footsteps on the tile floor. 

You didn’t even have to look for Hange and Levi. Before you could even begin to search for them, you felt Hange’s arms wrap around you in a tight embrace. 

“[First]! Are you okay?” she asked, hands on either side of your face and making you look her straight in the eye. 

“I’m fine, Hange, I’m fine,” you told her, but you saw that she knew you were fighting back tears. She nodded, playing along with you. She let go of your face and let Levi have his turn. But he didn’t say anything or hug you. He simply grabbed your hand. His cool touch soothed you a little bit, and from the look in his eyes, you could tell he was trying to tell you, _If this idiot brother of yours harmed you in any way, I will make him pay._

“This is Clifton Arvovaltainen,” Erwin introduced your brother to your friend and boyfriend. “Clifton, this is Squad Leader Hange Zoë. She’s in charge of scientific research in our division.” The two shook hands, and from Clifton’s wincing and Hange’s smirk you could tell she was purposely squeezing his hand in a white-knuckled grip. “And this is Captain Levi.” 

“‘Humanity’s greatest soldier,’” Levi added as if to challenge your brother. You were sure Clifton was going to crumble under Levi’s intimidating and hard gaze, but instead Clifton glared at him as the two shook hands. 

“Commander Erwin!” You all turned and saw a group of men across the way waving to Erwin, beckoning him to join them. He sighed. 

“I’ll be back. These are people I can’t ignore.” He gave Hange a look that clearly said, _“You’re in charge”_ before leaving to join the other men. 

“And you’re also involved with my sister, from how you both looked earlier on the dance floor, _sir,”_ Clifton said, his voice a venomous snake. 

“Watch your tone with me, you lowly swine,” Levi warned him. “I’d advise against making me your enemy.” Clif had always been better than you when it came to hiding his true emotions, but you could see that although his face was calm, his eyes betrayed the rage he was experiencing. 

“Sir, I hope you’re aware that my sister is betrothed,” he replied pointedly. 

“Of course I’m aware of that,” Levi said, eyes beginning to shine with anger. Your brother was succeeding in riling him up. “[First] and I have discussed the matter in detail and seeing as the betrothal is no longer binding -” 

“‘No longer binding?’” Clifton’s face lit up maliciously, his smile as sinister as a titan’s. He turned to you. “Did you tell him it wasn’t in place anymore?” 

“How could it be? I’ve been presumed dead for three years. And besides, didn’t Mom and Dad force Luella to marry him?” you asked him, folding your arms across your chest. 

“[First], Ulric may have wanted a young bride but he wasn’t going to go after an eleven-year-old girl, even if she was more well-behaved than you,” he almost laughed. “No, Luella married a fellow politician. Ravensdale made the smart decision of waiting for you to return. Earned him a lot of sympathy here in the capital, you know. The lovesick man waiting and searching valiantly for his intended.” 

“You’re making this up, Clif.” You put on your best brave façade, but your voice wavered, betraying the fear you felt. You felt so sick to your stomach that you were sure you were going to throw up any moment. 

“I wish I was, little sister,” he said, his voice dripping with maliciousness. “But I’m not. He’s been waiting all this time for you. And he’s going to be _beyond_ thrilled when I tell him his betrothed is alive. Especially since the contract was never voided.” He leaned in towards you, and Levi stepped in front of you, giving a death glare to your brother as Hange put a protective hand on your shoulder. Regardless of their protection, your walls started crumbling. You were not going to get married to Ravensdale. You. Were. Not. “Sister, you’re still engaged, and it’s my job as your brother to make sure you fulfill your duty to him.” 

“You can’t do that, Clif. Me getting married would mean I leave the military,” you argued with him. Your family may be low on money, but you knew if they had enough sway to be able to get Clifton into the Survey Corps, they had enough sway to get you out. 

“As they should. You had an obligation before you joined the Scouting Legion, and you should be forced to uphold that contract,” he said, his voice as cold as the night. 

“Even if she wanted to, [First] can’t leave us. The only way out of the military this young is death. It’s the law,” Hange reminded the new recruit. Clifton gave her another ill-willed grin, a grin you knew all too well; It was the grin he gave when he was about to beat you in a game. The grin he gave when pushed you off the library ladder. The grin he gave you when he ratted you out to your parents about minor offences. Tears started streaming down your face before you could stop yourself. 

“We’ll just see about that.”


	14. Time for Some Sweet Payback, Bitches (Day 12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your party returns to the Survey Corps base, and you decide it's time to give Clifton a taste of his own medicine.

“[First], how was the party? Who’s this new hotshot?” Sasha, Krista, Ymir, and Bertolt had greeted your carriage, and you hadn’t even stepped out yet when Sasha posed her question. You said nothing as you stood hunched in the doorway, face pale and gaunt. You hadn’t slept last night. How could you? You had been too scared to fall asleep, terrified that you would be taken away in the dead of night. Not to mention all the sobbing you had done, due to that fear and to mourn your younger sister. Bertolt saw your tired frame and grabbed your upper arms, supporting and helping you out of the carriage.

“Thanks,” you muttered under your breath as an equally tired Levi followed you out of the carriage. He had stayed up all night with you, but he had been able to rest some on the ride back, unlike you. Clifton came out last, following Erwin and Hange who simply nodded to the cadets and walked past them back to the castle. Seeing your girl friends had come to greet you, Clifton straightened his back and smiled charmingly at them. “This is my asshole brother, Clifton. He’s the new hotshot.”

“My sister loves to tease,” he waved away your comment as he bowed to Krista, Ymir, and Sasha who simply stared dumbfounded at him.

“Brother? I thought your family died in Shiganshina?” Sasha asked, watching Clifton cautiously, as if he would attack her at any moment. You knew he wouldn’t, especially since he was kissing the back of Ymir’s hand.

“If I had a pompous brother like this, I’d wish he was dead,” Ymir snarked, ripping her hand out of his grasp as he gave her a shocked look. “My name’s Ymir. Touch me again and I’ll rip your arms off.”

“I’m Krista Lenz,” Krista nodded to him.

“I’m Sasha Braus,” Sasha said, her voice not too kind.

“I’m Bertolt Hoover. We’re [First]’s best friends,” he said, reluctantly shaking Clifton’s hand. He turned to you and Levi, who had been standing silently by your side. “You made it back in time for breakfast.” 

“I don’t think I can eat right now,” you said faintly, putting a hand on your stomach. 

“Don’t be silly! You always have an appetite!” Sasha exclaimed, putting an arm around your shoulders as she guided you back to the castle, your friends, boyfriend, and brother walking by your side.

“Is she still an atrocious eater?” Clifton asked smugly while you glared at him. “She used to be such a little pig before she ran off.”

“If you want to keep breathing I’d suggest stop tormenting [First],” Levi threatened him, his lack of sleep making his usual deadpan demeanor even more severe and intimidating. “Cadet Hoover, have you already eaten?” 

“Yes, sir.”

“I want you to show Arvovaltainen around and make sure he knows the ropes,” Levi commanded, stifling a yawn. “Lenz, Braus, Ymir Confusing Last Name, go back to the mess hall and then get ready for training. Let the other cadets scheduled for your time slot know that I’m pushing it back an hour. I need to catch up on some things.” _Yeah, catching up on sleep,_ you fought back a smirk. The girls nodded, saluting before they opened the castle doors and stood in the doorway, clearly waiting for you. "[First], I want you in my office resuming your job as my assistant."

“Yes, sir,” you replied, hoping he’d let you snooze on his sofa. You two left the others and went up to his office, and before you could ask him if you could nap, he handed you a file. 

“Go take this to Erwin. It’s your brother’s file,” he said before yawning. 

“After this can I take a nap? I want to get some sleep before I do training today,” you asked.

“Yes. After you deliver that to the Commander, you can. As for me, I’ll be in my bedroom sleeping. You’re more than welcome to join me,” he smirked before going into his room. You left his office, hurrying to Erwin’s office. You reached his office and knocked on the heavy wooden door. 

“Sir, it’s Cadet [Last]. Levi asked me to bring you my brothers’ file,” you called through the door.

“Come in, [First],” he allowed you, and you stepped into the office. You took long strides to his desk and handed him the file. “Thank you, [First].” You nodded and briefly saluted him.

“Just doing my job, sir,” you replied.

“[First], I know you and your brother don’t get along. And I know this is unconventional, but I want your opinion on this. Do you want to be in the same training sessions as Clifton? Right now you’re scheduled to have the same training time slots as he is, but if you’re uncomfortable with this, I give you permission to change training sessions.” You had to fight the wide smile that wanted to show on your face. You felt completely _giddy_ with excitement. The entire ride back to the castle, you had stared out of the window, daydreaming about showing off to your brother, Mr. "I-Can-Do-Anything-Perfect-On-The-First-Try," and show him that you had the upper hand here and it was high time he respected you. This was the perfect opportunity. 

“I’m fine, sir. I want to be in my brother’s training session,” you told him, and he nodded. You could tell he was a little surprised at your answer. 

“Cadet, I appreciate and admire your desire to be gracious and teach him the ropes - ” 

“I couldn’t care less about teaching him the ropes, sir. I just want to beat the shit out of him,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself. The Commander grinned, clearly amused at your response.

“No wonder Levi fell for you,” he snickered. “Okay. I’ll let you stay in the training session as your brother.” 

“Thank you, sir,” you saluted to him once more before turning to leave. You hadn’t smiled so large in a very long time. 

_It’s time to get some well overdo payback,_ you gleefully thought.

*Two Hours Later*

You stood in the training area, talking with Bertolt. Reiner and Clifton hung quietly behind him. You had yet to completely forgive Reiner, and well, Clifton was Clifton. It seemed he had latched onto Bertolt, who clearly wanted nothing to do with him by the way he acted towards your brother. Your conversation with your tall friend was cut short with the appearance of Levi, who was overseeing training today. 

“All right, brats, today we’re focusing on hand-to-hand combat because your techniques have gotten sloppy and I don’t feel like having to teach you shits anything today. If you have your gear on already go put it back.” Levi announced to the group. “I’m postponing gear training until tomorrow. Unless your name is Clifton Arvovaltainen. If that's your name, then you are putting your gear back and then after this sparring practice putting them back on because you’re probably complete shit at maneuvering.” Giggles went through the crowd as your brother’s face darkened with anger at being publicly embarrassed. “Get into pairs and practice your fighting techniques. I’ll be walking around and correcting you.” Everyone started dividing up, and as you predicted Bertolt paired up with Reiner. You turned to your brother.

“You want to be my sparring partner?” you asked him, and he snorted.

“No. I’ m not going to fight you. You’re a girl,” he told you disgustedly. 

“That never stopped you from pushing me off ladders or down staircases,” you replied bitterly, folding your arms across you chest. “You just don’t want to fight me because this time I have the upper hand.”

“That’s a lie!” he defended himself, but from the sweat forming on his face you could tell you got him. “And anyway, I was going to ask Bertrand to be my partner.”

“Bertolt,” the tall cadet corrected him. “I’m sparring with Reiner.”

“Come on, brother, don’t tell me you’re scared of fighting me?” you taunted him. He growled at you, his face contorted with anger.

“You know what? Fine. I’ll be your sparring partner. Just to get you to shut your mouth,” he said turning to you and getting into a fighting stance. You grinned smugly.

“I’d like to see you try,” you teased, and he came at you. Remembering the special technique Eren had taught you, you swung your leg back and with all your might sent your foot forward into Clifton’s shin. The kick knocked him off his feet, sending him face first onto the hard, dirt ground. He spat out dust as you grinned and him, arms folded in front of your chest. He glared at you.

“I was going easy on you that time,” he spat at you, struggling to get up. You watched him, cool and uncaring, as he fought to get back on his feet.  Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see the nearby Bertolt and Reiner pausing in their sparring to watch you and your brother argue. 

“Sure you were,” you laughed. _That bastard’s getting what’s coming to him,_ you thought, utterly pleased with yourself. He exhaled, and came at you again, fists ready to punch you. As his fist came near your face, you spun with grace of a ballerina to his side. Throwing your arm across his chest as your leg came up from behind him; you successfully flipped him over and once again sent him sprawling onto the ground. And so this continued: Clifton trying to hit you, and you sending him to the ground.

“All right, all right, I’ve had enough!” he said after you two had been sparring for fifteen minutes. He had yet to knock you down, or even hit you. He had pushed you a few times, as if you were children again, but he had not done any real damage. “I need a _real_ challenge; I can’t keep sparring with someone I’m going to go easy on.”

“You asshole! I’ve beaten you fair and square. Stop making excuses because you suck at fighting,” you told him. 

“I do not suck at fighting! I just can’t take any fight with you seriously!” he responded angrily. 

“If you need someone you can _seriously_  spar with, I don’t mind switching partners,” Reiner said as he pinned down Bertolt. He looked just about as done as you felt. 

“All right.” Clifton agreed with a shrug. “I wouldn’t mind sparring with Berik.”

“Berolt,” your friend corrected him again as Reiner got off of him.

“No, I’m going to be your partner,” Reiner told Clifton. “You think I’m stupid enough to volunteer to be [First]’s partner? I don’t feel like dying today. Bertolt can have her.” Clifton looked downright scared at the thought of fighting the huge Reiner, but he nodded.

“Fine. I’m okay with that,” he obviously lied.

*Three Hours Later*

“Cadet Braun, please tell me why Arvovaltainen has a concussion,” Levi asked. You, Bertolt, and Reiner sat in Levi’s office. Your brother had hurt himself while sparring, and was currently in the infirmary getting medical care. Levi was put in charge of making a statement, so he was asking you three what had happened.

“I knocked him down and he hit his head on the ground. It’s not my fault he wasn’t prepared for the attack,” Reiner shrugged, treating the ordeal casually. The only person taking this seriously was Levi. Well, you took it semi-seriously, but not because you were worried about your brother. Reiner hadn’t held anything back while fighting Clifton, and you knew he had done it because he saw how horrible your brother had been treating you. You were serious about the ordeal in the regards of it made you let go of your grudge against Reiner.

“Is that what really happened?” Levi asked, bored. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you just punched the prick in the head.”

“No, I didn’t punch him in the head. I considered it, but I realized the only one with that right is [First], so I didn’t.” Reiner answered. Levi nodded, jotting down some notes. 

“Hoover, [First], that’s what really happened?” he asked you two to confirm. You both nodded. 

“Yeah. Reiner got Arvovaltainen’s shoulder and the impact sent him flying to the ground and that’s when he hit his head,” Bertolt confirmed. 

“Okay. Braun, Hoover, get out of my office. Braun, I’m letting you off since you were just playing by the rules,” the two nodded, standing up and saluting.

“Wait, Reiner?” you called to him as he and Bertolt headed to the door. They stopped and turned to look to you. “We’re good now.”  He grinned and nodded to you before he and Bertolt left the office. Once the door was shut, Levi sighed, putting his head in his hands.

“Your idiot brother is going to be the death of me,” he sighed. “At this rate all he’ll end up being is titan food.” You stood up from your chair, sauntering over to Levi and placing yourself sideways in his lap, your knees resting on the chair’s arm. Levi placed one of his hands on your knee. 

“At least we know we can use him as a decoy in the expedition three months from now,” you pointed out, so nonchalantly it made Levi chuckle.

“You know, I’ve never seen you so focused or so powerful in training before,” he said, rubbing your jaw with his thumb, his cool knuckles lightly pressing against the underside of your chin. “Your fighting is usually mediocre, but there . . .” He kissed your neck – “You fought with such passion and fire in your eyes.” 

“Levi!” you giggled, flustered as he kissed your jaw. “Did me beating the shit out of my brother turn you on, or something?” 

“More or less,” he said snarkily, making you laugh before he kissed you. You put an arm around his shoulders, pulling yourself closer to him and deepening the kiss. You delicately placed your free hand on his chest as one of his hands tangled itself in your hair and his other hand moved your torso so you could face him better. His lips were hungry against yours, demanding for more of you. You smiled into the kiss, giving in and kissing him with more ferocity. That’s what you loved about kissing him. He knew what he wanted, and took the lead to get it. There wasn’t any guessing game you had to play with him; he told you what he wanted and when he wanted it. 

“You know,” he said as his hand slid from your waist and down your hip before coming to rest on top of your thigh. “You never joined me for that nap.” His fingers started undoing your harness as your hand clutched the fabric of his shirt.

“Is that what it’s called now?” you teased him, kissing his nose. He chuckled softly before diving back in, this time forcing his tongue into your mouth. You opened your mouth to make it easier for him. It was an odd feeling, having someone else’s tongue in your mouth, greedily and roughly exploring you, but you enjoyed it. Your tongue none too meekly entered his. His hand started rubbing your thigh, and you could feel your body temperature rising slowly like a flame climbing up a building. Daringly, you moved your hands to start unbuttoning his shirt. You knew it was early for this sort of thing, but you didn’t care. Life was short. You loved him, and he loved you. You saw no reason not to. 

A loud knock interrupted the passionate silence you shared. 

“I’m busy with something!” Levi called to the visitor and you stopped, turning your head towards the door. 

“Levi, it’s Commander Erwin. This is extremely important. Can I come in?” You tried to move, but Levi kept you in place.

“I’m extremely busy with paperwork, now isn’t the time,” he called back, his face the picture of irritation.

“Levi, I insist. This is more important than any papers you’re doing right now, trust me.” Levi sighed and let you get off him. He quickly redid the buttons you had loosened. 

“Fine, come in. But this better be important,” he said warningly, and the door opened. Erwin looked ashen, Clifton standing smugly beside him accompanied by two men and a woman. You felt fear rise through your system, replacing the heat and love you had been so full of previously. Your stomach violently jolted, threatening to make you vomit all over Levi’s desk. 

“[First]! My baby, my sweet precious baby girl, I was so scared for you!” Before you could react, your mother ran to you and embraced you, holding you as if you would disappear at any moment. Levi stood up, his face barely containing his rage. 

"Erwin, what's this about?” his voice was quiet, but charged with the unmistakable air of rage. You stared blankly behind your mother, letting her smooth your hair as you stood there in sick shock. You couldn’t move, paralyzed by the sheer fact you were in the company of the people that used to dominate your life. 

“Captain Levi, these are my parents,” Clifton answered for Erwin, gesturing to your sobbing mother in front of you and your stoic father that stood beside him. “And the fellow next to Commander Erwin is my sister’s intended.”

“Levi, although nothing is official yet, the Arvovaltainen’s and Mr. Ravensdale are here to make a case about taking Cadet [First] back with them to Wall Sina,” Erwin said gravely.

You had never sobbed harder in your life.


	15. Inquiries are the Fucking Worst (Day 13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your parents, Clifton, and Ravensdale make a case for you to return to Wall Sina while your superiors try to keep you in the Survey Corps.

“Princess, wake up. We need to go and resume the inquiry at Erwin’s office,” Levi said, shaking your shoulders as you slept on your bed. You opened your eyes, red from all the crying you had done yesterday, and sighed.

“Levi, what are we going to do?” you asked him, staring up at the ceiling. He sighed and sat on the edge of your bed, stroking your [h/c] hair.

“I don’t know. But I will fight tooth and nail for you. I will do whatever it takes to keep you here. Even if that means murder,” he told you. 

“You would get caught.” 

“You would be safe.”

“I’d be away from you.”

“But you would be away from him,” he argued. You sighed, and wriggled out of your bed. He got up, hugging you from behind. His breath was warm on your neck; the feeling soothed you a bit. “I promised I would keep you safe. And I have no intention of going back on that promise. I will keep you here, and keep you safe, no matter what the cost.” His soft lips kissed your bare neck. 

“I love you, Levi,” you said quietly as tears slid down your cheeks. 

“I love you too, [First],” he said, and he let go of you. “I’ll wait for you outside so you can change.” You nodded and he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. You grabbed your Survey Corps jacket, the manifestation of everything you had worked so hard to earn, and cried into it. Your one accomplishment, your entire _world,_ was going to be ripped away from you.

*Fifteen Minutes Later*

You sat in Erwin’s office, Levi beside you and separating you from Ravensdale and your family. You wished your friends had been allowed in, but understandably Erwin had not allowed it. It was a miracle enough he let Levi in, and in Hange, who sat to your left. _At least I’m not entirely alone,_ you thought but it didn’t cheer up your spirits. You still felt as miserable as you did yesterday.

“In summary of what we discussed briefly yesterday, [First] had a legal contract before entering the military, and you, Ulric Ravensdale, are wanting her contract with the military revoked because she was already bound to you when she applied?” Erwin began. 

“Yes,” Ravensdale said. You had to fight hard not to throw up at the sound of his sleazy voice.

“All right. Mr. Ravensdale, please explain your argument.”

“With pleasure,” he grinned slyly, making vomit rise into your mouth. You had to swallow it down, tasting the disgusting, bitter flavor of what little you had had for dinner last night. “Ms. Arvovaltainen agreed to an arranged marriage, put together by her parents. A betrothal contract was written up between her father and I, which we have _here,_ in which it states that Ms. Arvovaltainen is legally obligated to marry me. She is bound to me. Her father, her owner if you will, and I have signed it; it has the proper approval a betrothal needs. It’s a legal, binding contract that promises me ownership of [First] Arvovaltainen as my property, and I’m simply requesting to take back what is rightfully mine.” 

“I’m not your property,” you growled venomously at him, staring long and painful knives into him. 

“Well of _course_ not yet. We haven’t been married yet. You’re simply a promised package,” he retorted.

“[First], watch your tone. You have no right to talk to your betrothed like that,” Clifton hissed at you, leaning to look at you.

“Oh, _fuck off,_ Clif. I’m a soldier, I’ll talk as I damn well please.” you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Cadet, please watch your language. This is a formal meeting,” Erwin told you, gently but sternly.

“Sorry, Commander Erwin,” you pointedly apologized to only him. Like hell you were going to apologize to anyone else. He nodded in recognition.

“Mr. Ravensdale, is that all?” he said.

“For no,” he replied, and you could see in his dark eyes he had something up his sleeve. _I don’t want to know what he has planned,_ you thought, trying not to panic. _But what could he have? All he has is the betrothal contract. He can’t have anything else!_

“All right,” Erwin said, his voice cautious. “Levi, you said you had an unbiased argument in [First]’s favor?” 

“Yes,” Levi said curtly before clearing his throat. “[First] is a good soldier. She was able to survive the Battle of Trost even though she was just out of training. Her graduation rank was fairly high; she just missed being in the top ten.”

“What was her score?” Ravensdale asked uninterestedly. He asked only because he needed to know it, not because he was interested. 

“Twelve,” you said proudly, and Clifton snorted. 

"Once again, not good enough," he smirked.

“Twelve is a respectable rank,” Levi defended you.

“You just _barely_ missed the top ten.” Clifton ignored him, trying to get on your nerves. “If _only_ you had worked harder.”

“Clifton if you don’t shut up I’m going to shove my sword up your -”

“Cadet Arvovaltainen, stop tormenting your sister or I will ask you to leave. Cadet [First], please try to keep your responses inoffensive,” Erwin cut in before you could finish your sentence. 

“Sorry,” you apologized again. _But he totally deserved it,_ you added in your head.

“Levi, continue,” Erwin commanded. 

“Her titan kill count is already at two solo kills and six assists,” Levi praised you. “For only a cadet, those are pretty good numbers. That concludes my contribution.” Erwin nodded.

“Hange, your reasons [First] must stay in the Survey Corps?”

“Sir, I’ve complied testimonies from various Survey Corps members on why [First] is a soldier we need to hang on to,” she said, holding up the bundle of papers that had been resting on her lap. “The first is from Ymir . . . God, that’s a very confusing last name. I don’t know how to say that. Cadet Ymir told me that ‘[First] may be a pain sometimes, but she knows her stuff. She can kill titans, and she never hesitates to throw herself into danger in order to save someone. Not exactly a life-prolonging skill, but it earns her points with everyone. Personally, I think we’d all be screwed if she left. People would lose their . . .' erm I’m going to leave that word out. ‘She’s a good soldier and should stay.’” As Hange put that piece of paper on the desk, you wiped away a tear. _I can’t believe Ymir said that about me,_ you thought, utterly touched she was on your side. God knew you never got along with her during training camp. 

“Mikasa Ackerman wrote, ‘[First] is great at teamwork and with plans that change at the drop of a hat. She understands what needs to be done and accomplishes it with ease and efficiency. When pressured, she is a competent leader. Her skill with killing titans is well developed, and she never seems to run out of energy on the battlefield. This is a great trait because after fighting so many get tired and that’s when casualties happen. But [First] is tireless and keeps trudging through. She’s a great soldier and needs to stay.’

“Jean Kirstein said, ‘[First] is a hell of a good soldier, but off the field or during rest times she is compassionate and stubborn. She puts others’ needs before her own and makes sure everyone is taken care of. When my best friend died during the Battle of Trost, [First] was the one to make sure I ate my meals and didn’t slip into a deep depression. She’s a good soldier, but she’s an even better person, and that’s why she needs to stay.’

“Bertolt Hoover wrote, ‘[First] is like a potted plant -’”

“Squad Leader Zoë, how many testimonials do you have?” your father asked, irritated. 

“A total of thirty, plus the one I wrote and the one Captain Levi wrote,” she answered, blissfully unaware she was boring your family and Ravensdale to tears. You, on the other hand, were moved to tears. You hadn’t realized your comrades loved you that much and thought so highly of you. 

“Hange, I’ll look over the other testimonials later. For now, that’s good enough,” Erwin said, taking the papers from Hange. 

“Sir, permission to speak?” Clifton asked.

“Yes?” 

“I ask that you consider disregarding the Captain’s testimonial and his previous argument for [First],” he requested.

“You can’t refute what I said earlier you brat, those were _facts,”_ Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I think no matter what, Captain Levi’s opinion of [First] is going to be biased in some manner,” Clifton ignored him and continued on. “Considering he’s involved with my sister I don’t think he can truly have an unbiased opinion of her.” 

“‘Involved?’” Ravensdale repeated, looking dangerously at you. You stared right back at him, refusing to let him know you were terrified.

“[First] and I are in a romantic relationship,” Levi confirmed, giving Ravensdale his famous intimidating glare. 

“Wow, my daughter got the attention of Humanity’s Greatest Soldier! Having a taste for military men must run in the family,” your mother mused before beaming at you. “See, I _told_ you those deportment lessons would get you a good catch!” 

“Why are you caring about _that?_ She shouldn’t be with any other man! She belongs to me!” Ravensdale hissed at your mother.

“[First] doesn’t belong to anyone but herself. She’s not some item you can haggle over,” Levi protested angrily.

“I rest my case. Captain Levi is too attached to [First]. He can’t give a truly unbiased report.” Clifton looked like he was pleading with Erwin.

“I don't agree with your last point to close your case, but I do agree with you in gnereal. I will not take Levi’s testimonials into account,” Erwin said, and you felt your stomach drop to the floor. Levi’s testimonial was probably going to be the strongest, and Clifton just made sure it was thrown out. “Hange, besides testimonials do you have any other reason [First] should stay?”

“Everything’s in the papers,” she replied.

“All right. Mr. Arvovaltainen, Isla, Mr. Ravensdale. Do you have any more arguments?” Erwin asked your parents and fiancé. 

“That little display was touching, but in the end it’s not very strong,” Ravensdale drawled, pulling a book out of the bag he had with him. There was a bookmark stuck inside, and he opened it up to that page. “According to the rules about military applicants, anyone signing up for the military that has any previous legal contract must commit to that contract before joining. In other words, she had to marry me before she joined the military. And if that serious infraction of the rules isn’t enough, it also states that military members must have accurate information on file or risk membership being void. From what I’ve heard, Ms. Arvovaltainen _completely_ lied on her application, so her information on hand is not accurate. Thus, her military membership is void and therefore shouldn’t be bound to the military.” 

A wave of nausea crashed into you. You doubled over, hands clutching your head. _NO! NO, THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT!_ you screamed in your mind, tears streaming down your face. Beside you, Levi stared, horrified and devastated, into space. Hange looked as if she was going to start crying herself. Ravensdale, on the other hand, looked very pleased with himself, his shit-eating grin taking up too much of his face. 

Erwin remained silent, thinking things over. _He has to keep me, I’m a good soldier,_ you told yourself, try and failing to keep it together. _I got good testimonials from my friends, I have a great kill count, he HAS to keep me._ You wished you could read his mind and know what was running through his mind, but you couldn’t. You could only guess what was running through his mind.

“[First],” Erwin said finally, turning to face you and you alone. 

And he gave his verdict.


	16. Gambling Usually Isn’t Okay, But Here It’s Fine (Day 14, Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi realizes what he has to do in order to keep you in the Survey Corps. It's a gamble, but it's your only chance.

_“I’m sorry, [First], but Ravensdale makes the point. Legally, you were supposed to complete your contract with Ravensdale before you joined, and because your information isn’t accurate your military membership is void. I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to discharge you.”_

_“NO!” you had screeched, loud enough to break glass and painful, as if your body was being torn limb by limb with all the speed of a snail. “I CAN’T LEAVE, I_ CAN’T!” _Tears poured down your face as you stared, [e/c] eyes begging Commander Erwin to change his mind. He was no longer looking at you, his eyes set straight ahead to the wall. Ravensdale had looked triumphant, a shit-eating grin on his face._

_“Shall we discharge her tomorrow, then?” he asked, his voice full of a sadistic joy._

_“We’ll write up the papers tomorrow.” Erwin confirmed, trying to block out your gut-wrenching screams._

_Why do I have to remember that now?_ Levi asked himself as he sat in Erwin’s office, waiting for your parents and Ravensdale. Your screams still rang clear as day in his mind. The sound made him sick with self-disgust. He had failed you. He hadn’t been able to keep his promise. 

“Levi, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I can do to keep her here,” Erwin told him. "I tried talking to Isla, her mother, and while Isla's more or less fine with [First] remaining in the Corps, her husband won't have it. My hands are tied, Levi. I can't do anything else to keep [First] here." Levi glared at his superior. 

“There _is_ something you could do. You could tell them, especially that asshole Ravensdale, to get the fuck out of here and never come back,” he said venomously.

“You know as well as I do that I would get in trouble for that,” Erwin said. “You’re acting like I want to get rid of [First]. I don’t want her to leave either, Levi. She has great potential, and not to mention I'm very fond of her as well. She’s a great soldier, and I want her to stay, but my hands are tied. If you want her to stay, you’re going to have to play their game.”

_“Play their game?”_ Levi asked himself as Ravensdale and your parents came into the room, sitting beside him. 

*Meanwhile in the Bathroom*

Krista held your hand, squeezing it reassuring as Bertolt held your hair while you threw up into the toilet. You let out another sob, tears mixing with the vomit in the bowl. 

“Just take some deep breaths, [First],” Krista told you soothingly, petting your head with your free hand. “Breathe in and out, in and out. When you calm down, we’ll figure out a plan to save you.” 

“Don’t you get it, Krista? It’s over,” you told her. “I’m getting shipped off to Wall Sina tomorrow and getting married in a month.” 

“Don’t say that! It’s not over yet! We’ll figure something out! We’re not giving up on you!” Krista replied, eyes shining with optimism. 

“They’re writing up my discharge right now,” you said, your voice nothing more than a whimper. “I’m never going to see you guys again. I’m going to either waste away as a stupid socialite or get put in a grave by Ravensdale.” You groaned before taking a deep breath. “I wish Annie had killed me in that expedition. Or I had gotten eaten in Trost. I wish I was going to die as the soldier I am.”

“[First], don’t say that!” Krista reprimanded you, uncharacteristically harsh. “We’d be devastated if you had died! You don’t want to die; you just want to be out of this situation.”

“No, I want to be dead. I’d rather be in a funeral pyre than have to go through this,” you retorted.

“Do you remember what I told you during Trost?” Bertolt asked you quietly. “Before we went and killed the titans that infiltrated headquarters.” You nodded, recalling the memory vividly. “You are a warrior, [First], and warriors don’t give up. They bide their time, but they never give up. I’m asking you to act like the warrior you are and not give up just yet.” You smiled weakly.

“If I put up a fight I’ll just be digging my own grave. Ravensdale almost killed me once, I’m sure if I put up a fight again he won’t hesitate to kill me,” you told him.

“You have a chance at beating him, though,” a voice in the back of the room said. You all turned and saw Ymir and Sasha had silently slipped into the room. “Bertolt’s right. You can’t just give up now. It’s not set in stone until those discharge papers are finished up. And who knows, maybe Hange and Captain Shorty are working to overturn the discharge.” 

*In Erwin’s Office*

“Ravensdale, do you still have that book? The one you had yesterday?” Levi demanded, his heart racing as his thoughts slowly came together. _This plan is batshit crazy, but if it works, she can stay here,_ he thought, his well-practiced poker face staring at Ravensdale in his usual bored demeanor. But internally, he was frantically thinking, planning how he would fight to save you, trying to think of the counterarguments that would arise. 

“Yes, I do. . .” Ravensdale replied slowly, pulling the book out of his bag. Levi snatched it without asking to borrow it.

“Commander Erwin, I’d like to give an argument in [First]’s favor,” he demanded, going to the bookmarked pages, skimming chaotically, desperately trying to find the right passages in the small-printed guidelines. _Why is this print so fucking small?!_ he complained.

“We agreed yesterday that Ms. Arvovaltainen was to be discharged,” Ravensdale said coolly.

“I have reason to believe your argument was unsound.” _Yes!_ he thought victoriously as he found the paragraphs he needed.

“I will allow you to argue for Cadet [First] one last time,” Erwin allowed, much to the chagrin of Ravensdale and your parents. 

“Yesterday Ravensdale, you said [First] needed accurate information on file otherwise she wasn’t really a part of the military,” Levi said. “But according to the rules, there’s nothing against going back and correcting her records. Her military membership will be valid so long as she goes back and corrects her records, which is allowed because of the rule letting married soldiers change their last names to that of their spouses. She’ll be in deep trouble for lying on her application, yes, but [First] just needs to correct her records and she will be a valid member of the Survey Corps.” Ravensdale’s dark eyes shot daggers at Levi, rage boiling in him.

“That is a valid point,” Erwin said, looking surprised at Levi finding such a small loophole. “Ravensdale, do you have a counterargument to Levi’s?” The older man simply stared dumbfounded, his mouth agape in shock.

“That still doesn’t excuse the fact my daughter must marry Ulric. She’s still legally obligated to marry him,” Mr. Arvovaltainen pointed out, and Levi’s spirits fell as quickly as they rose.

And then it hit him.

He knew what he had to do.

It went against his morals, but if treating you like an object meant he had a chance at saving you then he was going to treat you like an object. 

“Sir, I understand you’ve had this contract written for a long time, but I would like you to consider something,” Levi began cautiously, remembering Erwin’s words: _“Play their game.”_ “Yes, I don’t make as much money as Ravensdale, but I am a high-ranking officer in the military. Not to mention I am ‘Humanity’s Greatest Soldier.’ I wouldn’t bring money to the table, but I could bring something far more valuable: I can bring reputation, respect, and _glory_ to your family.”

“What are you getting at?” Ravensdale growled dangerously as your mother’s eyes started shining. Your father ( _The strategist,_ Levi observed about him) simply stared at him.

“What’s [First]’s bride price? What’s her dowry?” Levi continued, ignoring him. Your father told him how much, a crazy amount of money really, but Levi didn’t falter. “What if I told you I could beat that amount? For both? That I can offer more than Ravensdale can? Dowry, bride price, and family reputation-wise? Would you consider nullifying [First]’s betrothal to him and writing up a different one for her?”

“What are you trying to do?” Ravensdale snarled at Levi, his black eyes alight with murderous fire. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Arvovaltainen, I want to ask for your daughter [First]’s hand in marriage.”


	17. You Should Be Super Thankful Your Mom Likes A Man in Uniform (Day 14, Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the cards are one the table, and not everyone will be raking in the chips.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for domestic abuse.

"[First], I think a high-necked dress would be best for you. It's the last word in fashion these days, according to this design book your mother gave us," Krista said, her face carefully studying a page with a sketch of a wedding dress in it. You, her, Ymir, and Sasha were holed up in your prison. You had been placed under house arrest, so to speak, not being allowed to leave your room except for using the bathroom. Ravensdale and your parents didn’t want you to run away this time.

“Of course they say high necks are in style, they want to sell that kind of dress,” Ymir snarked, looking at the page in disgust. 

"I don't want a high-necked dress. I want a baby doll neckline," you said.

"I don't think -"

"Let her have it, Krista," Ymir said. "It's her own fucking wedding dress, she has final say."

"But her mom put me in charge of making sure [First] chose something fashionable. I don't want her mad at me or [First]," Krista protested. 

“It’ll be fashionable, I promise,” you gave your word. “I just want it to look as childish as possible. _I_ want to look as young as possible.” 

“That might send out the wrong message, [First],” Sasha warned you. “I know you’re trying to send a message spiting everyone for arranging this marriage when you were young, but everyone else is going to see that childish dress and think ‘innocence.’”

“You don’t know that for sure, Sasha. I want a dress worthy of a six-year-old,” you demanded, folding your arms in front of your chest haughtily. Krista sighed, handing the book to you.

“I just don’t want your mom getting mad at you,” she squeaked as you handed the book to Sasha. 

“I know what I want already, I don’t need this,” you said, bringing your knees to your chest. “I want a baby doll neckline and the poofiest skirt money can buy. And in any color but white.” 

“I’m pretty sure Mrs. Arvovaltainen won’t be happy if you don’t wear -”

“It’s my goddamn wedding; it’s literally the start of my life going to hell I deserve to have final say over everything. Fuck whatever my mom thinks,” you grumbled as someone knocked on the door. “If you’re related to me go fuck yourself.”

“It’s me. Can I come in?” It was Bertolt.

“Yeah, come in,” you said, and he entered swiftly but kept the door open behind him. 

"Squad Leader Zoe is having an important, mandatory meeting in the mess hall right now,” he announced. “She asked me to make you sure you’re all there.”

“Fucking FINALLY, I can leave this room,” you sighed in relief, springing off of your bed, failing to notice your tall friend breaking out into a sweat.

“She . . . she actually said you were excluded from the meeting because of your current situation. I-It’s just explaining your s-s-s-some expedition stuff and all, it’s just that. I mean, i-it's not a big deal,” he stuttered, watching your face fall. “It’ll be short, and I promise I’ll come visit you afterwards. I’m sorry I haven’t been here, Captain’s been making me do some things -”

“It’s fine, Bertolt,” you told him coldly. Not that you meant to be cool; it just sorta happened. You turned to your friends. “I’ll be waiting here if you guys want to come back after the meeting and help me plan this stupid wedding.”

“We’ll be back before you know it, [First]!” Krista said cheerfully as she and your girl friends followed Bertolt out of the room, shutting the door behind you. _Do I have the chance of escaping?_ you pondered, sitting back down on your bed, your knees drawn up and your back against the wall. 

_Where would you go? The Recon Corps is your home. If you left you could never come back. You’d be alone forever,_ a small voice in your head told you. Annoyed, you sighed. 

_I can't believe Hange's keeping me out of that meeting,_ you thought, resting your forehead on your knees. _It's like I've already been discharged. I should be in that meeting with my comrades! I'm a soldier, damnit!_

_No,_ the voice in your head said. _You're not just a soldier. You are a titan slaughterer. You are a warrior princess. You are the queen of the battlefield._

_I'm not having an identity crisis!_ you thought back, closing your eyes and letting a few crystal tears fall. _I just want to be with my friends and fellow soldiers! I want to be with them. I want to stay with them! I've worked so hard to help humanity and save lives, and now I'm being taken away._ You let out a howl of despair. _This isn't fair! I'm being forced out of the one place I belong! I don't just want to be at that meeting! I need validation that I'm still a soldier! I need my friends to not just give up on me!_

"Crying, [First]?" Looking up, you saw Clifton in your doorway.

"Get the fuck out, Clif!" you yelled at him, grabbing a pillow and chucking it at him. It was all his fault this was happening. It was all his fault your life was falling to shambles. The pillow hit him square in the face. He grabbed it and chucked it back to you, glaring.

"You deserve all of this. Stop taking it out on me!" Anger possessed your body. You flew to Clifton, knocking him to the floor and pinning him down, your fists making contact with his face.

"I deserve none of this!" you screeched at him, tears of rage falling down your face. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! MY LIFE IS OVER BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"YOU DESERVE _ALL_ OF THIS, YOU HORRIBLE BITCH!" he pushed back on your fists, knocking you backwards. He knelt on your stomach and punched your face. "YOU'RE THE REASON LUELLA'S DEAD! SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE DIED IF YOU HAD JUST MARRIED ULRIC! YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED LUELLA! YOU DESERVE TO DIE! YOU DESERVE YOUR LIFE BEING RUINED! I WILL AVENGE LUELLA NO MATTER WHAT!" You gasped your breath, the weight of your brother squeezing the air out of your lungs. You clawed at your brother’s face, pulling at his hair. He yelped as you yanked his hair to the side, making him tumble onto the stone ground.

“Do you think I’m not upset at her death?!” you yelled at him, making for your dresser, quickly pulling out the knife you kept hidden just in case. You were shaking. Tears were streaming down your face. “Don’t you see I feel partly responsible for what happened to her? You’re right, Clif. She wouldn’t have died if I had married Ravensdale. But you can’t just blame it all on me. I didn’t make her get married. I didn’t get her pregnant. I wasn’t the birth that killed her.”

“YOU WERE THE ONE THAT CAUSED IT TO ALL HAPPEN!” he screeched at you, tears running down his face. “YOU WERE THE SELFISH CHILD THAT PUSHED THE DOMINOES OVER! YOU WERE THE CATALYST, [FIRST], AND THAT MAKES IT ALL YOUR FAULT!” You could barely see in front of you because of the tears in your eyes. Taking deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself. You needed to see in this situation, and in order to see you needed to stop crying.

“Clifton, I may have started it, and I accept I had a hand in Luella’s death, but I’m not the only one responsible. You should be mad at Mom, Dad, and her husband too. They -” Before you could even react, your brother came hurtling towards you, successfully disarming you. He swung the knife at you, slicing your arm. You howled in pain, dropping to your knees as crimson blood blossomed on your white shirt. The small sliver blade came hurtling to your face, but with your free hand you grasped Clifton’s wrist and pushed back on him.

“YOU DESERVE TO DIE! I’M GOING TO AVENGE LUELLA’S DEATH! YOU TOOK AWAY MY BEST FRIEND AND BABY SISTER; YOU NEED TO DIE YOU VILE SELFISH WHORE!” The blade cut your cheek as he was pushed away from you, falling onto his side. You bit back tears at the stinging injury, quickly making to grab the knife from his hands. The identity of your savior could wait. Before you could grab your knife, you felt a knee slam into your stomach. You dropped to the ground. You clutched your stomach as you fought for air. Looking up, you saw who had pushed Clif to the ground, and an ear-piercing scream left your lips before you could even think about it.

It was Ravensdale.

“Clifton, you’re her brother. You don’t have the right to discipline her,” he scolded your brother as if Clifton was a small child who had left his toys strewn across the floor. “I, however, as her fiancée, have that power.” He smirked maliciously at you. “You just don’t learn, do you, [First]?” He approached you, brandishing the knife lazily as you sat paralyzed on the floor, [e/c] eyes the size of saucers. “You need to stay in your place. I honestly don’t know why that’s so hard for you. But let me tell you, you’re not a little girl anymore. I’m not going to give you a light punishment like I did last time. You’re old enough to understand consequences.” 

“‘Light punishment?’” you snarled at him. “You nearly killed me!”

“As I said, light,” he shrugged casually. “I don’t like disobedience. You had it coming. If you had just been a good girl I wouldn’t have had to hurt you.” He grasped your arm and pulled you to your feet, still pointing the knife to your face. He wrapped his fingers around your wrists, easily binding them together. “Now apologize to your brother for attacking him or I will hurt you.” You glared at him, fire in your eyes as you considered your options. _I can obey him, or I can disobey and possibly get mutilated,_ you thought. _I will_ never _give in to him._ You said nothing in response, only spitting in his face. He glared back at you, using his sleeve to wipe your spit off his cheek. He raised his knife-laden hand, ready to cut you, but a voice made him stop in his tracks.

“If you hurt her I will have no choice but to attack you!” Ravensdale turned to see who had interrupted him, and you craned your neck to see who was going to save you. In the doorway of your bedroom stood Jean, his gear at his side and a sword pointed at Ravensdale.

“Stay out of this, soldier. She is my property. She's mine to deal with,” Ravensdale snarled at Jean, who simply walked towards the man and moved to slice the older man. Ravensdale jumped back, letting go of your wrists. You carefully avoided your brother on the ground, afraid he would grab your ankle and pull you down, but he did nothing but watch as you got behind Jean. 

“I have orders from Commander Erwin to move her from her room and no one is to know of her location. Following us would be a very, very bad idea,” Jean told him, keeping his guard up. “[First], let’s go.” Without hesitation, you ran out of the doorway, Jean at your heels.

Relief spread through your body as Jean led you away from your bedroom, looking over his shoulder often to make sure you two weren’t being tailed.

“You’re bleeding pretty badly,” he commented, motioning for you to travel up the staircase. “Does Captain Levi have any medical supplies in his office?”

“Yeah, I think so. Is Commander Erwin seriously keeping me in there?” you asked him.

“I made that up. He didn’t give me orders to move you somewhere else. I heard you scream from the mess hall and went to see what the problem is. What happened in there?”

“Clifton attacked me and the Ravensdale came and broke it up, before threatening me,” you simplified it as you both entered Levi’s office. Jean locked the door as you went through Levi’s desk, trying to find something that would stop your bleeding. “Damn. There’s nothing in here.” You crossed the room to open the door to the supply closet. Sure enough, Levi had a medical kit stored in there, just above the bleach. 

Jean cleaned your wounds and bandaged your arm. He wasn’t sure what to do with the cut on your cheek, so he only cleaned it. “You can have Hange look at it later” was his reasoning. 

“Thanks, Jean,” you told him quietly. He nodded.

“I have to return to the meeting, but I’m going to stop by Commander Erwin's office tell him and Captain Levi that I’ve hidden you in his office. Don’t open the door for anyone. I’m going to tell the Captain you’ve locked the door and he’s going to have to unlock it in order to get in.” 

“Okay,” you told him.

“If anyone breaks in -”

“Show no mercy,” you offered up with a nod. He grinned.

“I like that answer. I’ll make sure Captain Levi comes back soon so you’re not trapped in here all day,” he assured you.

“Thank you, Jean. For everything,” you told him. 

“It’s what friends do, right?” he said.

“Right,” you nodded. He left the room without another word, and you locked the door. 

*An Hour and a Half Later*

You had been lying on Levi’s bed thinking about the attack when you heard the lock turning. Sitting up quickly you went to the door, and peeked into his office. The door was opening, and you could see Levi’s small figure enter the room. As he locked the door behind him, you approached him. You needed comfort. 

“Levi -” you began, but before you could finish your sentence he grabbed the sides of your face, careful not to let his fingers touch your injury, and kissed you. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you didn’t protest this at all. Leaving the kiss and putting his hands on your shoulders, he stared straight into your [e/c] eyes.

“You’re not going to marry Ravensdale,” he told you, and you could see that he was trying to keep his poker face up. “I got your parents to nullify the betrothal.” 

_“WHAT?!_ Levi, how did you . . . ? What did you do to get them to nullify it?” you demanded. Elation exploded in your body, and you felt like you had to jump around to burn off the sudden and excess energy. You couldn’t help but make a large smile. You threw your arms around his shoulders; you wanted nothing more than to just be close to him.

“Well, for starters you have to go and correct your information on file, and you’re going to have to be punished for lying in the first place, but you get to stay in the Survey Corps.” He slid his hands from your shoulders and down to the small of your back. 

“But how did you get my parents to nullify the betrothal with Ravensdale?” you asked again, leaning back so you could see his face. He was grinning, and you had the gut feeling he was up to something. “Levi?”

“Do you want to be my wife, [First]?” he asked, sending a jolt of shock down your spine. 

“You didn’t . . .” you asked him, piecing together what he had done.

“I simply talked to your parents, and they decided they wanted reputation and glory to the family name more than money. Although, I was able to raise a nice dowry and bride price with Erwin's help. He didn’t want to lose a soldier. But, long story short, your parents, especially your mother, decided they wanted Humanity’s Greatest Soldier in the family over that asshole and wrote up a new betrothal between you and I,” he informed you. “Of course, I wasn’t thinking we’d get married soon. That would be rushing things far too much. But, when we get there, we can get married. Unless, for some reason, this doesn’t work out, and then we can -”

“No, this is going to work,” you told him, trying to fight back tears of happiness. “I want to marry you, but I do want to wait a while.” He smiled back at you and kissed your forehead. 

“Then we’ll wait until you’re ready, princess.” 

*A Little Over a Year Later*

“Bertolt, hold my hair, I’m going to throw up!”

“You’re going to be fine, just take a few deep breaths.”

“Hold my hair, damnit!”

“Krista will murder me in my sleep if I ruin your hair! Just calm down, it’s natural to have pre-wedding jitters.” You and your tall friend were inside the castle, in front of the large wooden doors that lead outside. Everyone was outside, ready for the ceremony to begin. You were waiting on Mikasa to give the signal that everyone was ready for you to walk down the aisle. You were expecting her any moment. He put his hands on your shoulders. “Take a deep breath. The butterflies will die down in a moment. Just focus on something other than your stomach, okay?”

“Okay,” you repeated as the door creaked open. Mikasa poked her head in, waving her arm wildly for you two to come outside. 

“Here you go,” he said, offering you his arm. 

“Bertl?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for escorting me down the aisle,” you told him, putting your arm through his. He nodded as he opened the door.

“It’s what friends do,” he said, and he escorted you out of the castle and down the aisle in place of your father. The courtyard was full of mismatch chairs and strewn with wildflowers arranged in no particular pattern. Your friends sat in the chairs, turning around to see the beautiful bride walk down the aisle. You smiled widely at everyone, unable to contain your joy. The nervousness in your stomach was soon replaced with joy as you saw everyone’s beaming faces. 

The priest, Levi, your maids of honor, and his groomsmen stood in front of the fountain, waiting for you. As you approached, Levi smiled at you and reached for you. You took his hands and joined him in front of the fountain as Bertolt joined your girl friends as an honorary maid of honor. 

You couldn’t help but cry tears of joy through the ceremony, barely able to speak your vows. But somehow, you managed to say them, and before you knew it, a wedding ring joined the small engagement ring and you two were pronounced husband and wife. Your first kiss as a married couple was magical and complete bliss. 

“Do you think our second wedding is going to be this fun?” Levi teased you an hour later. The wedding party had moved into the cleared out mess hall, couples dancing on the sturdy wooden floor. You were among those couples twirling around.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer,” you laughed. “I still can’t believe my parents are making us have a high society wedding in Mitras. They could have just come to this one.”

“But then they wouldn’t have been able to rub it in their friends’ faces that their daughter married Humanity’s Greatest Soldier,” he pointed out with a grin on his face, pulling you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his nose. 

“I guess. I also wouldn’t mind rubbing it in people’s faces that you’re my husband,” you added with a giggle. He grinned at you and dipped you suddenly, making you shriek with surprise.

“I’ll sure as hell love flaunting you as my wife,” he said, moving you back up. You felt his hands grab your ass, pulling you even closer to him.

“Levi!” you giggled, your face turning red at the sudden display of affection. He snorted, and moved his hands to the small of your back before placing a swift kiss on your neck. His lips were hovering beside your ear, his hair tickling your face.

“And, I’ll sure as hell enjoy working you to the bone tonight.”


End file.
